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Watching porn is not cheating

» It may be problematic, but it’s not the same as having an affair

Jessica Berget Editor-in-Chief

Fees has their own idea of what is considered cheating, the most obvious

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Fear of failure should

form being sleeping with someone who isn't your partner. Others, however, think it can take a less evident form—namely, watching pornography.

Even Dr. Phil believes that viewing

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» Do things badly and let others do the same

Michele Provenzano Staff Writer

o try something new and be bad at it.

Trying out a new hobby or activity is an opportunity for growth. But too often, we're scared to try new things because we're reluctant to be bad at something. There's pressure—internal and external—to be good at all the things we do.

A study published by the American Psychological Association reveals that today’s students have higher expectations and are more demanding of themselves and others compared to previous generations. The study suggests that students feel higher levels of societal pressure to be perfect. We need to not only allow but encourage people to do things they might be bad at. This is where hobbies come in.

Hobbies benefit us in many ways. They encourage being present in the moment. They challenge us. They provide us with a break for de-stressing and fun. They

are beneficial for our minds and even our bodies, considering that participating in activities we enjoy can lower blood pressure and cortisol levels.

Many people have a certain hobby, passion, or calling that they feel attached to—perhaps overly attached. For example, an individual may have started illustrating at a young age and, having done so ever since, they may feel as though this is their greatest talent—and possibly their purpose. However, when a passion reaches this level, the individual may start to put pressure on themselves to create perfect art or achieve an impossible level of greatness with it. The hobbies we get attached to can almost become paralyzing to approach once we've put this pressure on ourselves.

It can be helpful to find a new hobby that you can let yourself suck at. A hobby which youre willing to admit to yourself and others that you know almost nothing about. It can be refreshing to have such a hobby, as youre not fully invested in the outcome or product. You can simply give it

Illustration by Cara Seccafien

pornography opens the door to cheating. The argument for this is that because

one is getting pleasure by watching someone else that is not their partner,

it could be considered cheating. While

I can understand the reasoning for this on some level, I believe it is woefully illogical. Say your partner wants to masturbate and they—like a big portion of the population—watch porn to do it. I don't believe they should be regarded as a cheater because of it.

Watching pornography is something nearly everybody does. Psychology Today reports that in an online survey of over 1000 people, 73 percent of women and 98 percent of men reported watching porn on the internet. Porn is definitely problematic and gives people a warped perception of sex, but it’s hardly something you can

put on the same pedestal as cheating. Even an article arguing that porn is cheating suggests that it shouldn't be a relationship ender because it’s a “different level” of cheating. If it really is the same as cheating, shouldn't it be a good reason to end a relationship? This is exactly the contradiction in this argument that I find difficult to grasp.

Furthermore, if you don’t allow your partner to watch porn, how are they going to masturbate? I don’t think it’s healthy to expect your partner to never pleasure themselves without you. People need time alone to be intimate with themselves sometimes, and viewing pornographic

¢ Watching porn is not cheating

e You never really know someone until you live with them

© Do things badly and let others do the same ..and more

videos is often an accompaniment

with this. The fact is people just need

to masturbate for stress relief or

sexual release, and for many, orgasm

is impossible without the visual and auditory aid of online pornography. This doesn’t make them a cheater; watching porn only makes them someone who grew up in a digital age where viewing such a thing is extremely common, and often hard to avoid on the internet.

To me, calling porn cheating downplays the real severity of infidelity. Being with someone else physically or intimately is the ultimate betrayal to your partner and can often ruin relationships and a person’s self-esteem. Watching pornography to masturbate to is a virtually harmless act and something that millions of people do every day—this may not make it okay, but it certainly doesn’t make it equal to having an affair.

I can understand the concern if your partner is choosing to engage with it instead of sex—if they go out of their way to purchase cam girl photos or videos,

or if have an unhealthy obsession with

it, I see the problem. | also see how it

can be considered cheating if there was clear communication that neither party would engage with pornography and

one of them discovers the other to be watching it. However, if there was no such communication, and if it doesn’t impede on your sex life or relationship, pornography watching is not cheating.

not be a barrier

a go and see what happens.

Not caring if you completely fail can be liberating. You can express yourself freely and explore new sides of yourself: No matter how bad you are at something to start, you undoubtedly improve with practice. Also, playing around with a new hobby or activity may spark your interest again in the hobby you associate with a negative pressure to excel.

Attempting something

new can make you see your

other passions in a new

light

judgmental observers and their uninvited criticism. But no one has ever been good at something before they were bad at it.

We all deserve the chance to struggle while learning. People should

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explore the activities they may not be naturally skilled at, and society should encourage them to improve instead of demanding irrational perfection.