American economy instead of the Canadian one.

Now that the NHL’s Collective Bargaining Agreement and salary cap have evened the playing field a little, Balsillie’s plan to move the Coyotes to Hamilton makes sense. Southern Ontario to hockey is essentially what Israel is to the Jews; the place where, historically speaking, it all came together. For those in Ontario, people who aren’t Senators fans and can’t stand the Leafs (who really can?) need another team to cheer for. This, to me, is why everyone loves Detroit.

People in Ontario need another hockey club, because to cross the border and go to a Red Wings game is just too much effort to do three times a week. Moyes realizes this and so does Jim Balsillie. The only person who doesn’t quite get it is, you guessed it, Gary Bettman. :

Being from Southern Ontario, Balsillie is kind of like Jesus Christ to Canadian Hockey fans. He intends to bring the game back to Canada, one team at a time, and after two failing bids to buy Pittsburgh and Nashville, it looks like our saviour might finally perform a miracle. In previous weeks, the NBA, MLB and NFL have all shown their support of Balsillie’s bid to create a new Canadian team. I think there’s a biblical scripture about this... “And on the third bid, a team rose north again.” Something like that.

To further the point that Bettman is a prick, he recently announced that games one and two of this year’s Stanley Cup Final are to be played back to back. The reason for this? TV scheduling.

How insensitive and absurd. NBC is short on programming and therefore has a few open slots to fill. They asked Bettman if the games could be played back to back in order to fill the time, and he changed it around like it was no big deal. Excuse the fuck out of me, but hockey doesn’t change for TV, TV changes for hockey!

Playoff hockey is the most intense hockey of the season, and after three rounds of play, not to mention injuries and fatigue, players need rest. Playing two games back to back within 24 hours of each other is lame!

The NHL needs a new commissioner, and they need one | fast! Bettman has been in power for way to long and he’s ruining hockey for all of us, especially Canadians. If you want to find out more about Bettman’s reign of terror, pick up Bon Cop, Bad Cop a Canadian film that satires the NHL struggle with a subplot based around the character of “Harry Buttman.”

With blades of steel and sticks of wood, I will not let our neighbours south of the border ruin this game for all of us. We will be victorious, and it is only a matter of time until a Canadian team hoists the Cup over their head once again.

Gary Bettman

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