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‘Game of Thrones’ Season 6 REVIEW

> Final episodes leaked (SPOILERS ALL)

Chandler Walter Humour Editor

ow. What a ride. The epic

fantasy series Game of Thrones has done it again by delivering on a massive scale.

The Other Press has been lucky enough to receive the final episodes of Game of Thrones’ season 6 well before their re- lease dates, and the twists and turns that our favorite char- acters have gone through are, of course, full of SPOILERS.

Don’t care? Well then, here we go.

Of course, everyone’s favor- ite bastard in the north is still alive and kicking by season 6’s end, as Ramsay Bolton lived un- scathed through the onslaught that Jon Snow attempted on Bolton's rightful home of Win- terfell. Episode 9 featured the battle—or BASTARDBOWL as it has been dubbed—which ended with Snow (that’s Jon, not Ram- say. He’s been legitimized, you hear me?!) being flayed alive, beheaded, burned, and then flayed once again. There is AB- SOLUTELY no coming back for that cheater of death, as his red

priestess was flayed, beheaded, and burned as well. How’s that

for visions in the flames, Mel!

Taking a quick look at King’s Landing, many will be happy to hear that the Lannisters are still sitting on their rightful throne. In fact, fan favourite Joffrey

Baratheon has returned from the dead a la Jon Snow, and is back in his rightful position of power, a twist that we all expected and hoped would happen. Directors D&D did not fail to disappoint! Hopefully viewers will get at least another few seasons with good

Man acquitted of murder

> Jury deemed the defendant too likeable

Rebecca Peterson Staff Writer

L was a trial that shocked only the very few left in this world who have yet to have their spirit broken by society.

John White, 31, walked out of the courtroom a free man last week after the court ruled overwhelmingly in his favour during a murder trial that many thought was fairly clear-cut and simple.

White was arrested for the murder of neighbour Ben Dover two years ago after a friendly disagreement turned violent.

The prosecution was dumbfounded by White’s acquittal.

“We have security footage of him repeatedly stabbing Dover in the chest with a pair of garden shears,” said prosecutor Kirsten Blue, who looked dead-eyed and hopeless as she

spoke to reporters on Monday. “Those shears were found in

the defendant’s bedroom, still covered in Dover’s blood. White had blood under his fingernails that matched Dover’s DNA. Ina

recent journal entry, White wrote

a passage that reads, and I quote, ‘Ben Dover is a f---ing piece of human s--- who I would love to stab with a sharp object. In fact, I'm actively planning to stab Ben Dover with

a sharp object? We've confirmed this is White’s handwriting,

as well. He has

no alibi, and many witnesses saw him entering Dover’s residence that day, and leaving covered in a large amount of crimson liquid, likely

blood.” With such overwhelming evidence against White, it

Image via thinkstock

Image via HBO

ol Joff, the one character you can really root for in this series. A brief shot of Gend- ry. He’s still rowing. Across the Narrow Sea Arya Stark had found herself in a bit of trouble with a group

was difficult to believe he was found to be not guilty.

“The thing you have to understand about John is that he’s a really nice guy,” a neighbour explained to the

press. “Everyone likes him. He remembers my name, my kid’s name—hell, he even baked cupcakes for a school fundraiser. Murderers do not bake cupcakes.” “I saw him pet a dog, once,” said one of the jury members. “He was very sweet about it. And he said he liked my blouse. I just don’t believe he could have done such a thing”

“If anyone did it, it was probably Dover himself?” said one member of White and Dover’s community, who was shaking his head. “Yeah, I could see it. Doing it just to put John behind bars. Probably stabbed himself with the shears and everything. He always seemed

of trained assassins, and was, naturally, assassinated. Ironi- cally, it was also done by flaying, beheading, and burning. Bit of a trend going on this season.

Our favorite dragon-blood- ed sweetheart Daenerys Tar- garyen has been up to her old tricks again, this time enlisting the armies of every free city from Braavos to Volantis, and, in the most shocking turn of events in this entire review, has finally set sail to Westeros.

God speed, Daenerys, and know that us fans—especially the Reddit community—wish you and Joffrey a beautiful wedding.

A Song of Ice and Fire author George R.R. Martin has come out—on the record—to state that everything that has happened so far in the show is directly out of his upcoming book, Winds of Winter, and that it should all be regarded as absolute canon. The aging author also mentioned that since the show was doing such a great job of showcasing his vision, he has taken a leave of absence from writing the book, as “Everyone knows what hap- pens now anyways, there’s no need to write anything more.”

like the manipulative, dramatic type. It was probably some kind of blackmail.”

When asked how sucha blackmail would work—given that Dover is now deceased—the man seemed somewhat confused. After a moment, he shook his head and said, “Whatever. It was definitely Dover’s fault. John just wouldn't do something like that, he has friends and family and stuff. No murderer in the history of our country has ever had friends, or family, or did anything nice for anyone, ever. It just doesn’t happen.”

White has declined to comment on the matter, and has returned to his home. To celebrate his release, many of his neighbours organized a block party for him. White was last seen petting a cat and making small talk with a senior citizen.

Perhaps the jury was right after all.