humour // no. 22 theotherpress.ca

sleeveless

hawt

Students wear Douglas College apparel, spread awareness of school costs

> Anti-Gouging Day declared a rousing success

Cazzy Lewchuk Staff Writer

he event was first organized

when second-year college student David N.W. Lam discovered he had spent the last $50 of his $6,000 student loan ona stiff sweatshirt bearing the name of his post-secondary institution. After comparing their own tuition rates and recent bookstore purchases, several other students wore Douglas College apparel the next day in solitude.

“There’s a lot of understanding that needs to occur about high tuition rates, and it’s why I’ve ponied up even more money to the college to wear this sweater,” explained Simon Fraser, a third-year arts major. “I’ve already given them more money than I declared in

income on my last tax return, so why not display to the world the crippling anxiety that results?”

The ensuing campaign— known as Anti-Gouging Day— has quickly struck a chord with post-secondary students. Today, it is celebrated in almost every post-secondary institution across North America. These students have found an upsetting trend of school fees rising, and a lack of wage increases, better education, or employers who take an Arts Degree seriously. Participation requires only $50, a willingness to sell out to a gouging institution, and the portion of your soul that was actually excited about attending university.

The campaign is an offset of the similar slacktivist poster campaign known as “Squash the Squeeze.” This brief event had a cool-sounding name and was prominently featured in the

pages of agendas handed out for free by the student union. It was ultimately crushed by the realization that students have virtually no power against the government sanctioned capitalism of post-secondary fees. “It’s true that our customers—I mean, our students—may feel dissatisfied with the current education system. But don’t worry—the government has acknowledged these concerns thoroughly by also mentioning schools cost a lot of money once a year,” said the current college president, while lighting a cigar with a $100 bill, “and we’ve made some tremendous improvements lately that ensure our students get the best bang for their buck. Just last week we added five plush chairs to the main concourse rest area. We've also used funds to set up a do-it-yourself

coffee station, to prepare the majority of our students for their future of working in the beverage service industry!” The effectiveness of Anti-Gouging Day has yet to be felt. Preliminary reports

suggest that, as with all awareness days, students, and the college alike will pretend to care about awareness of

a serious issue before going back to not giving a shit for the other 364 days of the year.

Photo illustration

Photo collage; Katherine Moening via pintrist