Ive Got A Few Letters For You Too

A big FU-Q to the Douglas College Board

Brandon Ferguson To all Douglas College Board members:

I am writing to address my concerns regarding your email that was sent to all Douglas College students regarding your decision to withhold student fees from the Douglas Student’s Union (DSU). Appropriately, the email showed up in my hotmail junk folder.

My right to feel outraged by your actions is autonomous, and my opinions are elected by free will and self-determination.

My conscience requires me to speak out on behalf of the students who are being denied their right to a fully funded and proactive student union. Section 69 of my personal code of ethics requires me to “spout off at great lengths when receiving any barrage of rhetoric that fucking. ..god-damned Liberals...sucks like a Thai hooker...aggravates any uncontrollable union situation like only a politically affiliated entity could.”

Section 19 also requires me to “remind the reading public that Markus Naslund is the best thing to happen to Vancouver since The Commodore redid their bouncy floors.”

Admittedly, the DSU has been negligent in its audit- ing. Three years is a long time to go without opening their books for audit and is inexcusable. Many executive members have come and gone during that time, and it should be noted that it was Pride Liaison Joel Koette’s tireless efforts that finally resulted in a full audit.

So during those three years, what exactly has gone on? Well, the DSU has been vociferous in its defense of

students and their right to a reasonably priced education during that time. I don’t suppose it’s the DSU and the Canadian Federation of Students’ outspoken opposition to unruly BC Liberal tuition gouging practices that has your well-fed feathers ruffled, is it?

Speaking of your relationship with the Liberals, you mention how the DSU doesn’t have to disclose how it spends our student society fees, and that we have a right to examine the DSU’s financial statements. Well, you’re absolutely correct.

But when we were paid for a full semester of school this past Spring, were we allowed to take the elevator up to your plush boardroom (with a spectacular sunset view of the Fraser) and demand that you pay the BCGEU staff what they’re worth?

Well, no; your hands were tied by a legislated “zero mandate” which ensured that while our tuition went through the roof (which is only accessibly through your lavish penthouse offices), none of it would go to the people who make this college function effectively.

Speaking of legislation, perhaps you’re familiar with the College and Institution Act, which you so freely pluck ammunition from. As both Opinions Editor and DSU Member-at-Large, it’s my begrudging duty to remind you that under the College and Institution Act- or CIA as you’re wont to make it feel like-you must release the student’s fees as soon as proof of proper auditing has been shown. Were you drunk on power or high on Gordon Campbell’s martini vapour-trail cooings when you disregarded Treasurer Jessica Gojevic’s pres- entation of the DSU’s Auditor’s report on September 22nd?

So I’m confused, dear College Board. Is this a puni- tive decision that is meant to break the back of the only organization actively voicing their concerns on behalf of the students, or is this really coming from the bot- tom of your hearts out of shear concern for students and their finances? Because if you’re truly concerned about our cash flow, you could forego dinner at Gotham’s and maybe visit your local Keg or Boston Pizza and tip large to offset some of the largest hikes ever seen in the free world. (Ask Matty to bake your pasta at BP. You won’t even taste the spit beneath all that gooey cheese.)

Now, I know I’m limited in my ability to influence you because I only pay your wages. However, I remain hopeful that you'll come around and see that political posturing should be left to those you cozy up to-excuse me-take direction from. We’re all just students here, pay- ing through the nose and dreaming of the future. To corrupt us now is only to aggravate the situation and gain unwanted enemies.

And in four years’ time, don’t you suppose that some of us will have survived your death grip and gone on to bigger and better things? Maybe even with the NDP?

Careers are tenuous and your tone is terse; charged rhetoric and pretend empathy are only making matters worse.

Tf you have more questions about how the College is jerking the Students Union around, you can contact me, A-hole-at-Large, at opinionsubmit@ hotmail.com.

And in light of recent events, we felt it would probably be appropriate to discontinue our latest commemorative

coin set.

Editorial Cartoon by JJ MC Cullough

The Heroes of Patronage

Collection

Dingwall Gagliano

COLA meee tT Lag