issue 20// vol 45

Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor

hinking about seeing a movie? Don't! Try watching movie trailers on YouTube instead.

“It’s a great way to spend three or four hours alone on a Saturday night,” said Julian Sommers, trailer fanatic.

Thanks to YouTube's autoplay function, users can watch an endless stream of new movie trailers—enough ina row to equal the time of watching an entire movie!

Cinephiles like Zachary Anderson find watching YouTube trailer compilations an easy way to source new films to watch.

“Sometimes I'll like a trailer enough to write down the name of the movie,” Anderson explained to Other Press reporters. “From there I crumple it into a

A taste of the theatre from the comfort of your computer chair

» Man watches movie trailers on YouTube, never intends to see movie

ball, put it into my pocket, and never look at it again. It’s just comforting to have in case | ever go to a movie, which I won't because I could never afford it.”

Couples like Jim and Stella Moore find watching movie trailers a fun date idea.

“We can never find a movie we agree on,” Jim told Other Press reporters. “She likes foreign films and I only like movies where football is primarily featured. That’s why watching 16 or 17 trailers is a good alternative—there’s something in it for both of us!”

“T like how watching trailers means we don’t have to talk to fill the silence,’ said Stella. “We've been together for so long that there’s nothing much left to say. It’s a nice way to hold both of your attentions so you don't have to make any eye contact.”

“T honestly hate Stella. The only thing keeping our fraying relationship together is

watching new Guardians of the Galaxy clips every evening. If I didn’t see Chris Pratt’s charming face every night, I swear to God I would walk out the front door and leave her,’ Jim said.

However, the hobby is not without danger. Frederick Proddington, ER doctor at Vancouver General Hospital, has seen his fair share of cases related to trailer binging.

“Several people have gotten so deep into a YouTube hole that they've forgotten to eat or drink for days on end,” Proddington explained. “One day you sit down and start Julia Roberts trailers 1989- 2019’ and you could be there for weeks. I encourage everyone who watches clips to have a good support system, or at least a

‘She really left 1t all at the gym’

» Local woman bravely poops in changeroom toilet

Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor

t was an act of protest and bravery at the Mount Pleasant Community Centre.

“T’ve always heard rumors about people doing it, but I’ve never been near one in real life,” said Lauren McLeod, gym- goer.

Female patrons of the centre were changing in the women’s changeroom when they heard someone audibly pooping in the adjoining bathroom stall, an act that even gym attendants say they have never encountered before.

“Most women are acutely aware that the bathroom stalls are directly attached to the changing area. Anything that

Vancouver local plays it fast and loose with nut allergy

happens in the stalls becomes a problem for the entire room,” said Yvette Jones, gym attendant. “Most women shower before even entering the changeroom out of pure consideration for their fellow gym-goers.”

Why have the toilets right next to the changing area? Other Press reporters spoke to Sandy Michaelson, the architect behind the Mount Pleasant Community Centre, to find out.

“Though it might seem completely illogical to have a working toilet directly adjacent to a small, windowless area and asteam room, we assumed that women would be too shy and polite to drop a deuce. In my 30 years of designing gyms, I’ve never heard of any women doing a ‘number two’ in the changeroom stalls. They're mostly reserved for going on

» May contain traces of nuts? Who cares?!

Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor

(Yes, I have a nut allergy. And no, I’m not

careful about it,” said Cindy Duvall, 26. “I don't let my possibly fatal nut allergy rule my life.”

The brave young woman spoke out about her carefree lifestyle at a press conference last Thursday.

“Just because eating a pastry at a coffee shop could end up with me cold, dead, and in a coffin, it doesn’t mean I have to monitor what I eat or drink,” said Duvall. “I don't choose to live my life that way.”

“She should absolutely live her life that way,’ Reena Davis, a family health practitioner of over 20 years, told Other Press reporters. “About one percent of people in North America have a nut allergy.

They're very common, and a side effect can be, well, death.”

“Some people smoke. I don’t check the ingredient list on a box of cookies,”

Duvall said. “That’s just how I roll”

Duvall, who at the time was wearing a black leather jacket and causally flipping a granola bar that said “MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS AND TREE NUTS” in the ingredient list between her fingers, urges all those with nut allergies to adopt her carefree lifestyle.

“used to be just like everyone else who couldn't break down

Instagram instead of working out, or peeing. We in the industry call it ‘tinkling.”

Who was the phantom pooper? Those in the changeroom that day were divided on the issue.

“She was in and out so fast, I didn’t catch a glimpse of my hero,” said Terri Ray, who was attending a spin class on the day of the deuce. “I think she was wearing gym clothes. I mean, she was probably wearing gym clothes, because we were at the gym.”

“There's no evidence that points towards the pooper being a woman,” pointed out Emma McGregor, an avid weightlifter. “A blatant disregard for unspoken rules and social conduct? Sounds like a man to me.”

McLeod was certain she saw a “flash of magenta, and then she was gone, as quickly

cc

humour // no. 17

CamelBak hydration pack and some adult diapers on hand.”

What about seeing the actual films themselves?

“T honestly don’t know if I have the attention span to watch a feature-length movie,’ Sommers told press. “Real movies can be up to two hours long. Who has that kind of time? No, I like to spend my evenings sitting at home, in front of my computer, in my adult diaper. Now that’s an evening well spent!”

as she pooped. What a modern-day Joan of Arc.”

What does this mean for the future of Mount Pleasant Community Centre?

“We try create a positive, welcoming atmosphere for all gym patrons,” said Daniella Egelson, lead director of the gym. “We welcome everybody to use the facilities to their fullest extent. I would also like to take this time to remind people that pooing is super gross and should be done in the sanctity of their own homes.”

“Whoever the phantom pooper is, I salute her,” McLeod said. “T'll be thinking of her next time I drop trou.”

Reporters tried to visit the male change rooms, but upon entering were absolutely disgusted and refused to comment further.

I've only had three reactions this year so far!”

the proteins found in certain nuts and legumes. I would obsessively freak out and double-check with the waiter that my salad didn’t have any cashews on top. Now, I breeze through life and simply use the ‘itchy tongue method’ That's where I eat a bite of something, wait for a minute, and keep throwing that food down the hatch if I don’t feel my throat closing up. I’ve only had three reactions this year so far!” Other people were joining Duvall’s cause. “I’ve been allergic to nuts for my entire life,” said Randy McArthur, 47. “lL used to think

—Cindy Duvall, cool

I would outgrow it, but every single year without fail ] would somehow ingest a walnut in somebody’s carrot cake, and I'd blow up like a balloon. Thanks to Cindy, I’ve been living my best life. I eat what I want, when I want, and I deal with the consequences after, when I’m already losing consciousness. Who even needs walnuts in carrot cake? Everybody’s just there for the cream cheese icing!”

“T urge everybody who is joining Cindy’s cause to reconsider,” Davis said. “Anaphylaxis is a serious condition and shouldn't be treated lightly, no matter how cool it looks to not care about your nerdy nut allergy.”

“I might go to a vegan restaurant after this and have a bite of a muffin,’ Duvall said to a shocked crowd. “Maybe a bite of pesto. Who knows? The world is my nut- covered oyster.”