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Secret Cache of Inappropriate “Family Circus’ Cartoons Discovered

By “Salty” Liam Britten

NEW YORK, NY—King Features Syndicated, the company responsible for publishing such daily comics as Blondie and Hi and Lois, has recently announced that they will cease publishing Bil

examined by the NYPD to see if charges will be laid against author Bil Keane. However, the police have revealed a few details about their content.

“The comics are disturbing, and

Keane's Family that’s putting it on Te. Menger PS ad potently COMUCS reflect Bil sponers. “Many of were dheorered — @QME'S RGPG- wi Keane's tortie

The strips were

line Catholic x

Catholic viewpoints

found buried in a subjects such box in the King’s ° ° ” as masturbation, archive, and are viewpoints. premarital sex; believed to have homosexuality, and

been drawn sometime in the late 1970s. The strips were never published, and it is unknown why then-editor Bill Yates did not have the comics destroyed. “Yates was a huge fan of the

Family Circus, so they may have been kept for posterity’s sake,” said current editor Brendan Burford. “Either that, or he was holding on to them as evidence for a criminal investigation.” The cartoons have not been shown

to the press, as they are currently being

abortion. Thereareseveral panels showing graphic discipline of child character ‘Billy,’ as well as story arcs about a new neighbour family called ‘Mr. and Mrs. Hooknose,’ as well as a series on why it is a sin to report a priest to the police.”

As well, there is evidently strip that portrays the spirit of the family’s dead grandfather using his ghostly abilities to gain illicit access to a woman’s washroom, and a “follow-the-dotted- line” panel instructing children on how

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to find adulterers. Detective Brown said these strips may result in charges being pressed. However, while these new strips may shock, horrify, and disappoint long- time fans of the strip, Detective Brown has said that one thing will always be true of Family Circus: “These strips all suck bad,” he said. “They're terrible. Bill Keane may have lost his way morally, but he always stayed true to his vision of crafting a cartoon that was never funny even in the slightest.”

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