News

Power, limits, and stereotypes

One woman's experience as a modern dominatrix

Samantha Eng, The Watch

HALIFAX (CUP) Leanne is a middle- aged, single mother living in the east end of Toronto. She is getting ready to open her own business, a therapy clinic that doubles as an art gallery. She enjoys photography, and even hosts her own workshop at a local store. She is a chaplain who preaches feminist theology and an activist in her community. She’s also a working commercial and lifestyle dominatrix. BDSM (short for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism) has been cornered in mainstream popular culture as a disturbing world of pain, leather, and controlling women with whips. International online and print directories give access to this world of underground fantasy. Doms and dungeons advertise in the back of free newspapers and leave discrete flyers by the doors of sex/fetish shops and 18+ video stores. The sex industry is huge, especially in Toronto. But even so, Leanne says that there are maybe only ten full-time dominatrices in the city,

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her being one of them.

As a dominatrix and a dominant female, Leanne says that the focus is not so much on power as the illusion of power, especially when it comes to clients (submissives).

“It’s the subs that have the power in that relationship because they draw the boundaries around what they will and will not do or take,” says Leanne. “It’s an ironic situation. You’re playing with power, but you’re largely a service to that person’s journey.”

So what is the main appeal?

“T think that it’s the way that you can play with danger in a safe place,” says Leanne.

People come to her looking to test their personal boundaries. Leanne says that these boundaries are both mental and physical, and that people want to be reminded of them and have them eroticized. They give her the power to explore that.

“Often I just remind them of their own thoughts and feelings and desires,” says Leanne. “Activities that generate

that kind of energy like kneeling

and positioning, foot worship, close attention to detail, inspecting someone, exposing them. Investigating, making people [talk], make them tell you things. Seducing them into it is how you create that [control], so that you can slowly bring more and more pressure and pain, as well as pleasure, into the scene.

“Tt’s really just a matter of identifying your desires and having the support surround you to discover it safely.”

Leanne also makes it clear that although she plays a dominant role in these scenarios, she also has a responsibility and duty to her submissives. In some ways, she even takes on maternal characteristics while acting as the Goddess, Mistress, Amazon, Queen, or Destroyer.

“T think it’s [my responsibility to create] a safe place for someone to be who they are. Someone who takes them through physical challenges and then rewards them, holds them . . . is absolutely part of the process,” says Leanne. “It’s a part of how you play.” Also, although being a dom is about having absolute control, Leanne says that it’s important to remember that a dom is still a sex trade worker, which carries its own risks.

“Both the dom and the client know that the other has powers that the other doesn’t know about yet. Each one knows that they’re involved in an activity that can be criminalized. Each person knows that they’re putting a lot of trust into the other person physically as well,” says Leanne.

“There’s always testing limits, but always in a framework. And if I’m not feeling respected around it there are several things that I can do about that.” Leanne says that she’s also had time to reflect on her own power as a person. She was hit by a van while crossing a street four years ago, and now suffers from chronic pain.

“T had to learn how to walk all over again. I was doing that while training [subs] and while they were caring [for] me, so it was a very different dynamic than what you’d expect,” she says. “But just because you’re dealing with those things doesn’t make you any less of a dom. It’s how you handle your challenges that really teaches those around you.”

As a result, Leanne says she now approaches dom work as sexual healing therapy and has taken on clients of the queer community and marginalized people.

“Generally, my more mainstream

clients tend to be men who are facing extraordinary circumstances in their physical and in their personal lives,” says Leanne. “A couple of my main clients are dealing with wives that have very serious illnesses and are dying, usually dying actually. Sometimes they themselves are old and are dealing with the effects of that, or the effects of disability. Those are some of the circumstances that often make it more important and also easier for them to come and see me.”

While BDSM may not appeal to everyone, Leanne says that people should remember that it’s a diverse world in itself. From therapy to self- discovery, in the end, it’s just another way of playing.

Stephen Lewis coming to New Westminster

Kelly Parry, Douglas College Media Writer

S tephen Lewis, the former United Nations’ Special Envoy for HIV/AIDS in Africa and Canada’s UN ambassador from 1984 to 1988, will speak at New Westminster’s Massey Theatre on March 22 at 7:30 pm.

Drawing from his years of experience in global health issues, Lewis’ presentation addresses the theme of A Vision for a World Free of HIV/AIDS. Proceeds from the event will support the Douglas College Community Social Service Worker (CSSW) program’s Uganda Project and Uganda Endowment Fund. Developed to complement CSSW student fieldwork placements in Uganda, the project assists health, education, and social service projects in the African country.

This event is sponsored by HSBC, Fraser Health and Douglas College. For more information visit www. douglascollege.ca/stephen-lewis; for tickets, call Ticketmaster at 604-280-4444.