WIF

Brady Ehler, Coquitlam Rep.

The results of Coquitlam’s 2005 general local election

are in and our new Mayor is....Maxine Wilson! Yes, two-time councilwoman, founding president of the BC Confederation of Parent Advisory Council, former School Trustee in Coquitlam for ten years (including four years as Chair of the School Board), and former grade-one school teacher, Wilson takes the cake in this riding with 7,970 votes.

Wilson snatched said cake from the hands venerable hands of last year’s mayor, Jon Kingsbury, who rang in with a respectable 7,918 votes. Oh! How bitter the icing must taste as Kingsbury licks it from his fingers! Harry Warren took third place with a laughable 1,962 votes. E for effort, Harry, E for effort.

Of the 24 candidates for city council, only eight made

Election Results are in For Coquitiam

the cut. You have to be tough, clever, and have a soul of iron to be a city councilor in Coquitlam, either that or be one of the eight people with the most amount of votes. Patrick Swayze look-alike, Fin Donnelly, proved he is an invincible man of steel this campaign, with 10,545 votes! First loser, Barrie Lynch, came in a distant second at 8,593 votes, and Louella Hollington rounded-out the top three with 7,425 votes. The five other proud champions of the people in this riding are: Mae Reed (7132 votes), Richard Stewart (6,973 votes), Lou Sekora (6949 votes), Brent Asmundson (6,464 votes) and Doug Macdonell (5,968 votes). Gail Alty, Brian Robinson, Julie Rogers, and Gerri Wallis were elected as School Trustees.

On a sour note, I would like to point out the shame of Coquitlam; voting is down this year, rounding off at 23.3

percent (a 4.4 percent decrease from 2002’s 27.7 percent), with 18,061 ballots cast. Yep, not even a quarter of eligible voters turned out to decide the fate of their fair city. On the bright side, the actual number of people voting this year has gone up 3,092 voters, with 18,061 ballots cast this year against last year’s 15,969. I wonder how many eligible voters under 25 showed up to cast their votes? ’'m guessing not many.

Suddenly, it’s becoming clear to me why young people, like Jonathan Cote, have been running for office! Hmmm, maybe I can somehow tap into that frigid cache of youth voters. Ok youth, here is the deal: You vote for me next election, I promise I’ll buy each of you a new car, plus, there will be totally rad parties every Saturday at the City Council office.

Last Call

Amanda Aikman, OP Columnist

Hmm, turns out nobody out there had any problems

this week. Well, aren’t you all just so perfect, with your perfect, problem-free lives? Bully for you. Some of us, unfortunately, are not so lucky.

‘Take me, for instance. I’m sure you all noticed that I wasn’t here last week; I guess your inquiries of concern just got lost in the mail. Well, to put your minds at ease, and since I have no letters from whiny advice-seekers this week, I figured I'd take this opportunity to do a little whining of my own.

Here’s my problem: those damned, miserable, torturous, unnecessary, evolutional throwbacks that are so inappropriately referred to as wisdom teeth. Now, I know that in the big picture wisdom teeth are pretty low on the ol’ problem totem pole. There are people out there dealing with homelessness, disease, and vengeful acts of God and Mother Nature—so crying about having a few teeth pulled is pretty lame. But somehow, when besieged by punishing oral pain and astronomical dental bills, perspective is a difficult thing to maintain.

It all started last week when the left side of my face, having decided I had lived too long without experiencing crippling jaw pain, started forcing a giant, crooked tooth into a space about one tenth of its size. Then, to make things more interesting, after three days of dining solely on penicillin, Tylenol 3s, and gin, the fancy-pants

Coal Harbour dentist I visited told me that all four of my wisdom teeth would need to come out. And the fun didn’t stop there. Oh no, the party was just getting started.

I always knew I was one in a million, but as luck would have it, turns out ’m one in 20, too. One in 20 who may end up with permanent nerve damage in the left side of their cheek, chin, tongue, lip, and teeth, that is. According to Dr. Fancy Pants, there is a nerve either next to, touching, or wrapped around my impacted lower-left wisdom tooth. To get a better look at it, he sent me to have a CT (or, CAT) scan, which was pretty freaky. Although, knowing most of the other patients there were probably waiting to find out about aneurysms and tumours, I felt pretty guilty feeling sorry for myself.

Which brings us to where I am today. Waiting for Dr. Fancy Pants to call and give me the results of my CT scan and to schedule a time this week to desecrate the four corners of my mouth at my expense, since I am not currently covered under any dental plan. I’ve opted for what they call “intravenous sedation,” which apparently falls somewhere between local and general anesthesia. Supposedly, I will be super loopy and won’t remember anything, but I will still be able to “take commands.” Hopefully the effects will wear off before my boyfriend takes me home.

Everyone keeps telling me that it is relatively quick, and I’ll be so hopped up on

sedatives that I won’t feel anything or really understand what is happening to me, but I am still very panicked and not looking forward to this procedure. Especially if it results in me being a numb-faced freak for the rest of my life. So, if anyone out there has any wisdom-teeth horror stories, or even comforting tales of pleasant wisdom-teeth removal experiences—please send them to me at lastcall_ op@yahoo.ca. Reading them will give me something to do between suffering and making my boyfriend’s life hell in my days of post-operative bliss.

Amanda recently survived a bloody tango with her wisdom teeth