Monique's Top 10 ways you know Summer

1s almost here

10. Women start shaving their legs.

9. Utter chaos breaks out at the gym as people frantically try to trim that extra layer of winter hibernation fat. The beach is raising its fleshy head again and mocking everyone’s over-huggable love handles.

8. Men get out, those hideous sandals from the clos- et (you know, the ones they bought in 1988) and wont stop wearing them until the following

October. Apparently black socks and sandals will

never stop being trendy.

7. We all start to see way more flesh than we should, which can be a good thing. But when Gramps, in his falling down Bermuda shorts and hairy back, and Gramma, in her best bather, start walking around, it can’t be all good,

6. You can start racking up major points on your car hit-o-meter because all of a sudden there are way more cyclists, dogs and pedestrians around. If that’s not your thing, then you can at least pack a water gun to liven up the ride home.

5. Pavlov's response kicks in when you smell BBQs occurring at your neighbours’—and you know it’s that time of year again when your hierarchy of needs goes something like this: SUN first; beer second, but fighting for first; and BBQ third,

Work and sleep rank around tenth.

4. Even the most athletically denied insist on trying all outdoor sports. These include sneaking drunk onto golf courses, becoming the world’s best fence jumpers, and achieving the loudest belly flop at the local pool. Other things, like rollerblading around the seawall, and trying sand volleyball just because the Opposing team could have single players on it, are attempted, but

because they require a bit of skill, only leave these poor wretches sun- burnt and out of breath. Hence— warm weather

breeds stupidity,

3. You get the camping itch, so you go early in the season. You underpack sleep- ing gear and freeze your ass

off, all in the

name of summer.

2. You think about how great it would be to have a convertible and

you soon realize this is not a feasi- ble dream because you could never come up with that kind of cold hard cash—so you spend hoards of money on alcohol instead because, somehow, that makes more sense.

I. Little tears stream down your face each day, as you whimper to yourself quietly so your boss wont hear, because you really need this full-time summer job to pay for school next year, and you begrudgingly say, “Would you like fries with that?”