-The Other Press

But what is ITCH?

As | munch back my fourth ham- burger in front of my television screen and practice the fine art of becoming a couch potato, | realize that it is a new week, and that my column of Jock Itch must again be written. Well IT’s done.

Why, you ask? Well that | am not quite sure. Could it be for the simple reason that | and not my column seek fame and glory? No, that’s not IT. I’m content just being a couch potato. The real reason lies short of both; man’s deepest desires, and height of his imagination.

In other words, IT is not the twi- light zone, but in fact, just general press. Well then, all my avid follow- ers, on with the Itch that can only be cured with the scratch of a pen.

This week’s column will not pro- mote or demote the hockey team. Settle down basketball players, and stop jumping around, I’m not after you either.

As | now walk the sub-terrainian catacombs of Douglas College (at great risk, may | add) | am both complemented and sneered at. The funniest of all are the people who don’t understand my articles. Their

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reactions are equivalent to an athlete who has suffered the Bonk or Hit the Wall. Yes, they had to tax the utter limit...the other side of their brain.

As | continue down the long hall- ways, | am confronted by the sports co-ordinator. ‘‘Quick, into a class- room’’ | think to myself, but all the doors are locked and | cannot escape.

| am then confronted. No, | am not malled or jazzersized to death, but confronted with the simple question, in a nice tone of voice:

‘‘Are you the writer?’

“Yes, | am H,’’ | reply to her.

As our conversation ends, | get a quaint little verbal nudge stating that, ““All press is good press except your

iobituary.’’ I’m not all that impressed’

with the last part, but then again, think how terrible it would be if in fact | didn’t write IT.

Now | am off, heading back to my home to assume the position once again as a couch potato. As | watch T.V.; | realize my next topic. Eureka! After all this, | have found IT. | put Burger No. 6 down and begin to write.

IT, is the best topic in my series of the Jock Itch columns. Yes, | have a

Social Night

Friday Feb. 28th

*

Doors open 8:00pm

Bring your beach gear It’s a massive beach parti

Tickets $2 each

on sale in the main concourse

after Monday

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column and it’s suppose to go right here. That’s right, IT is supposed to take up these spaces of print and IT is supposed to take up these spaces of print and IT is generally dedicated to one area of athletics or another, but do you know what I’m going to do....That’s right. | tored up my column and I’m going to fill this space with press that won’t be good or bad for anyone. Feel robbed? Tough Nuggies.

Oh! Don’t get me wrong. I'll be back. I’Il write what | want, when |

want. To all the athletes who seek the Fame and Glory...Ha! You get noth- ing. Nothing good and nothing bad. And if you really thing about it, that’s right, start taxing the other side of your brain again, this keeps you that much farther from IT. No milk commercials, no promised for Italian shoes and no press. Oh! and before | forget, | should at least come up with a decent quote: ‘Hamburgers don’t bite back.’’ H.

We need

sports writers

photographers.

Come down and get involved.

The OP room 1602.

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Rock Mania Novelties

-Amusement Arcade

20-25 Video games, Pinball,Hockey and Fooseball

- Just a hop and a skip away.

705 Columbia St.