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Opinions

Six comedic clichés that need to be stopped

Overused dialogue, unfunny stereotyping, and

terrible actors By Jacey Gibb, Opinions Editor

next cynical young person, so

it’s no surprise that comedy is one of my favourite genres. However, there’s a handful of zingers that lost their zest about a decade ago that insist on popping up in recent releases. So if you ever plan on penning your own quirky mumblecore masterpiece, do civilization a favour and save these clichés for the deleted scenes.

[= to laugh as much as the

Saying “mazel tov” in response to things that aren’t Jewish

You're getting a divorce? Mazel tov! You just declared bankruptcy? That calls for a mazel tov too! Your kid’s getting circumcised? Okay, that might be a relevant example. The main thing here is that a sarcastic congratulations is a normal piece of dialogue, but throwing in a “mazel tov” just seems out of place and more importantly, has become overdone. Maybe you should stick to the traditional high-five seal of approval instead.

The other left/my left gag

Get it? Because a person can only have one left and one right. I’ve lost count of how many times a movie/ show has had two characters argue over who’s wrong. “You told me

to pick the left one!” “I meant the other left!” I wish these directors had made the right decision and left this kind of joke out completely.

“Are you drunk?” “It’s only __ o'clock!” “So that’s a yes?”

I think the only time this exchange entertained me was when they used it in Arrested Development, but then again, the cast could discuss the recent spike in corn prices and it would come out as comedy gold. Yes, some people like getting smashed at an earlier

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hour than others. I’m not sure how this basic fact became a tent pole for comedies. “Additional originality marks get taken off if this conversation is with an eccentric old woman.

Having a child innocently ask where babies come from

A recent episode of New Girl used this classic awkward moment- maker when Zooey Deschanel’s character was looking after her new boyfriend’s pre-teen daughter. Once this sensitive-topic bomb gets dropped, a crossroads emerges: do you construct some fairy tale explanation that involves magic dust and a mystical stork, or should you just give them the basic backstory of when penis met vagina? The main problem with this situation is that I really doubt that every child is just waiting for their parents to leave their sight before finally being able to ask this burning question. Or maybe I’m just weird because as a child, I didn’t constantly barrage my babysitter with reproductive inquiries.

Making a white character talk like an over-exaggerated black person If I have to watch one more awkward suburban dad say “fo shizzle my dizzle,” I swear I’m going to go “wiggity whack” all over the script writer’s ass. I think this form of gag manifested some time during the ‘90s, but I doubt

it was even funny then. Having uptight white guys spew out nonsensical alliterated rhymes isn’t entertainment—it’s just dumb.

Anything to do with Adam Sandler

I liked some of his earlier stuff from when I was a kid, but when there’s a movie based around him playing boy-girl twins, I think it’s about time someone blacklisted the guy.

The magnitude of careless driving Our attitude towards reckless driving needs to change

By Joel MacKenzie, Contributor

manda Woodthorpe, Sheldon Streiling, Eleni Isacu, John de Oliveira, his

girlfriend Rebecca Dyer, Dawson Spencer, Crystal Weaver, and, just recently, Douglas College student Alex Johnson, have all died in car crashes in the Maple Ridge or Pitt Meadows area within the last three years.

Because I live in Maple Ridge, I’m reminded of these people every time I get into my car. I graduated there three years ago, and all of them grew up in one of the two towns, and were roughly the same age as me.

Out of respect to the individuals and their families, I won't go into the details of what each of these people were specifically doing that led to their death. Some were allegedly using cell phones, drinking, and/or speeding, one was in the car with a driver doing one of these, and three were killed by other drivers, one drinking and speeding, another speeding because she was late for work.

I want to say that this last one, being late for work, is the pettiest, most preventable cause of all of these, but it’s not. Every one of these could have been easily prevented, if someone chose to not act carelessly while driving.

I wonder if attitudes about driving are as careless everywhere as they seem to be in the Lower

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Mainland. Why do so many people still feel that it’s okay to be a little buzzed when driving? Why does almost everyone here drive over the speed limit? Why do so many people, myself included, take driving while distracted, by food or a cell phone, so lightly? Is it

our tendency to assume we can

do anything and everything better than the average person? If it is, then how can one trust every other driver not to feel and act in the same way?

Vehicles seem to create egos that detach people from reality. Their comfort and enclosure create a sense of security that makes one forget about their fragility, that of their life, and that of every other life on the road.

The pettiness of drinking, speeding, and being distracted while driving is ending lives. We could blame the offenders who cause these accidents, but to make a real change, attitudes towards and actions while driving need to change. It’s not okay to drive after drinking alcohol, over the speed limit, or while rushing to get somewhere.

No one has to die when going to work, when coming back from a concert, when going to pick up one’s family, or making any of the daily commutes that we all have to do. Is that fair? Can we all agree on this?

Then we need to change the way we drive.

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