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February 4, 2004

 

Horoscopes

Miss. Fullah Shyt
OP Contributor

Aquarius—January 20—February
18

If you have blue eyes, this is a
good time for you to travel. If
you have brown eyes, you will
be unlucky in love. If you have
any other colour of eyes, you
will be unlucky in love while
travelling.

Pisces—February 19—March 20
That plan you have been work-
ing on will fail because of your
selfish nature. You should read
some self-help books and call it
a day, but not out loud because
that'll make you sound kinda
crazy. But let’s be frank, that’s
not too far off, is it?

Aries—March 21—April 20
This week you should enrol in
dance lessons, but keep your
shoes tied because you are due
for a minor accident. Also,
because of your flighty nature
you should make sure there is a
cancellation clause because you
will probably drop out.

Taurus—April 21—May 20
If you are a gal, your opinionat-
ed behaviour will get you in

trouble this week. So hold your
tongue and pick your battles
wisely. If you're a guy, the charm
you think you have will fail you
when you try to worm your way
out of that pig-headed comment
you made at dinner last night.
Grow up Taurus! We ain't gonna
take your belligerence no mo’.

Gemini—May 21-June 21

You think you know everything,
don't you? Don't you?! Well, you
don't. Why don’t you try clean-
ing up the garbage in your own
yard before you start dumpster
diving in mine? On a side note,
nice haircut.

Cancer—June 22-July 22

You feel the need, the need
for—well, everything. Jeez, why
don't you try doing something
for yourself for once? Oh that’s
right, you cancers aren't highly
ambitious, are you? I believe
you can, fly Cancer—I really,
really do.

Leo—July 23—August 22

It’s so sad how you always think
you are right. The only consola-
tion is that the rest of us know

! you aren't. You betta check yo’-
self before you wreck yo'self.

Virgo—August 23—September
22

Gals, you are sweet and sassy
this week—you must be up to
something. No one will fall for
your act. Guys, you are sensitive
and chatty this week — because
of this, you will be pleasantly
surprised by someone over the
weekend.

Libra—September 23—October
22

You should really get outside
more. Take a nap under a tree
or go for a walk on the Seawall.
Make a wish on a star because
this is your week, so shine.

 

Scorpio—October
23—November 21

You seem pretty moody,
Scorpio. Why don’t you relax a
little bit? You should take a long
walk, not off a short pier, but
consider it for a few minutes.

your one-liners would get you Take some chances,

nowhere. Boy, was that wrong. ! Capricorn—go out and die your
You will live long and prosper— } hair black, throw on some hot
all the while delivering zingers pink lipstick and sing karaoke
to those you meet. (is this thing on?) like there’s no
tomorrow. Also, now is a good
time to accept any proposals.

Sagittarious—November
22—December 21

; Capricorn—December
Last week you were told that

22-January 19

 

In & Out

What’s in...

Janet Jackson's left boob

Wilson

Me You

The Olson Twins
Constellations
Reading the OP
Paperclips
Karaoke

Screech

Kissing cod

Snowball fights

 

Free buffets

What's out...

Janet Jackson's right boob

Make-believe friends

Paris Hilton & Nicole Ritchie
Pop Stars

Reading The Province

Staples

Singing in the shower
Jamaican Rum bottled outside St. John’s
Kissing frogs
Getting splashed with mud from a passing car

Making your own meals

aie Page 12  http://www-otherpress.ca

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