seas Having reached the ripe old age of 21, I’ve been thinking back to my youth. Remember grades 6 and 7, those happy, carefree days of early by DAVE WATSON puberty? My school used to have Friday afternoon dances and we would bring in our favourite records to be eroded on a mono Caliphone with a stainless steel needle. The Beatles were popular, April Wine and Naz- areth were fine but Elton John was almost a God. Steve, Maz and | saw the movie ‘‘Tommy’’ repeatedly for his performance, made up dirty lyrics to ‘‘Crocodile Rock,’’ and between us had every album. Somehow, by grade 9, we and Elton had parted ways. He went into a big career slump and we started listening. to Kiss for reasons that still remain vague.(probably re- lated to teenage hormonal imbalances) Elton ended up filed under Music-Pre- adolescent and | ignored his recent popular success. Only the temptation of a fifth row floor seat convinced me to attend his September 1st Coliseum concert. . _ As the band came out | was worried. Elton didn’t look much like’ I’d remembered him. No wild and wacky sunglasses or ostrich feather leisure suits.(Did he give them to the Sal- -vation Army? Are the winos in British THE OTHER PRESS CONCERT FANTASTIC gutters with mink covered glasses and tiger skin pants? | for one sincerely hope not.) Davey Johnston, the lead guitar player had the deepest lines in Maybe they were trying to cash in on nostalgia as Simon and Garfunkle had done last year. My fears were im- mediately put to rest as the show Graphic/ Arthur his face this side of Keith Richards. Frankly, | was wondering if these old guys were able to play halfhearted and uninspired versions of their past hits. Bolero a barf inducing adventure in ecstasy Before sitting down at my typewriter to churn out another page of dribble for the Other Press, | felt compelled to turn to a pocket thesaurus. Starting by JOEL HAGEN with ‘‘horrible’’, | came up with a long list of words, all of which are adequate in describing the movie, Bolero. Bo Derek’s latest outing proves once and for all that Bo has the acting ability of refried beans. Her hubby, turned director, John Derek, is also bereft of talent, and | hold him responsible for what polite people would call the ‘‘script’’. I’Il just call it bad. Bolero is a period piece, set in the 1920's. It begins with the upper-crust university graduation of Mac(Bo Derek) and Kat(Ana Obregon). Both are celebrated virgins, and they decide to flee the cold, harsh climate of England in a quest to learn everything. Try as she might, Mac just can’t. ee to find anyone-willing to take her 4é gi ae 4 She voyages first to the Sahara, and shacks up with a sheik. Hunky-dory as this might seem, the young sheik can’t handle the pressure. He gets Mac to his tent, takes off all her clothes, pours honey all over her, and then falls asleep. Poor Mac! She wants a rabid sex maniac, but she ends up with a hormone-deficient Arab. After further travels, Mac finally ends up in Spain, where she finds her true love, a bullfighter named Angel Contreras(Andrea Occhipinti). In a love scene that has all the reality of a Palmolive commercial, Mac forever alters her chaste life-style. At this point, in order to make the film longer than one hour, and more interesting than a CBC test pattern, a bizarre twist is introduced to the plot. Angel is gored by a bull, and guess where he gets it? Right, in the essence of his manhood. Mac, relying on her new-found womanhood, spends the rest of the film nurturing her lover back to sexual health. She eventually succeeds, and Angel jumps into the sack for a Big Mac attack. Everyone seems to do the same thing, in a last ditch attempt to keep the audience from falling asleep. By this time, of course, the film is beyond hope. | stayed awake, but only because | was laughing so hard. So save your hard-earned dollars and stay away from this flick. Wash the dishes, play cribbage, fry some zucchini, get rabies - anything is better than Bolero. began. The concert opened with two superb songs from ‘‘Madman Across. the Water; Tiny Dancer and Levon. Elton’s voice projected clearly and powerfully over the instruments. | was amazed that such a rich and emotional voice was coming from the short, balding, chubby guy at the piano. The band was polished and tight, providing a perfect background to Elton‘s sing- ing. ; The first part of the show concen- trated mainly on material from the page 11 recent albums, perhaps 7 or 8 songs in total. | really enjoyed his new songs but | was there for the sake of the mid-seventies and my lost youth. Well, | did not get any younger but | felt like | had. Songs | had listened to 15 years ago were played with a vitality that made them fresh again. Some taste was exercised in the choice of songs as well. Unlike Rod Stewart, Elton doesn’t seem to feel obligated to play his lesser songs just because they were hits. Mediocre efforts like ‘“Grow Some Funk of Your: Own’’ were mercifully absent. All the songs were well-played, but several stood out as excellent, especially ‘‘Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me.”’. The highlight of the show was an extended version of ‘Benny and the Jets,’’ which slid into a jazzy piano solo and back to Benny. A fog machine added an ethereal touch to ‘‘Rocket Man’’ as Elton’s. piano was bathed in richly coloured lights. Much to my regret he didn’t try’’Dirty Little Girl’ or’’Pinball Wizard,’’ but you can’t have everything. Skillfully organized professionalism marked this show, with attention paid to details such as good sight lines even for the unfortunates behind the stage. Elton even turned his back on the rest of us occaisionally just to wave at them. Two encores featuring ‘‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road’’ ,’’Crocodile Rock’’ (unfortunately without my lyrics), and “Saturday Nights Alright for Fight- ing’’, wrapped up the dlmost two anda half hour show. At no time did Elton and the boys rely on mere nostalgia, as they preferred to win over the crowd with energy and enthusiam, proving that old pop stars (and old pop fans) can still kick out the jams. I’d like to introduce you to Canada’s newest and most exciting recording artists. This band has been blazing up the: charts with their new hit single by ALAN SNIDER We're Going P.C. Now. Yes folks, I’m talking about Brian Mulroney and the Progressive Conservatives. No one can deny the pure originality and musicianship involved in their number one hit single. | have often found myself humming the tune in the shower, it kinda gives you a lift. | must also say it is refreshing compared to the beatless rap being done by John Turner and the Liberals, and Ed Broadbent and the New Democrats. | mean hell, John Turner is working with old band members who clearly have old ideas. Then there’s Broad- bent and the boys, c’mon everybody, this is just faceless New Wave. Not only that, but Broadbent himself admits it....‘’It’s for the ordinary man and the ordinary woman in Canada.’’ It’s just plain to see that Canadians have not been fooled by worn out ideas or the generic ideas of New Wave. | saw Brian Mulroney live at Burnaby Central High School a week before the election. He had a stage presence that would blow you away. The people were packed into the auditorium, all the way up to the rafters. There is no way John Turner, or Ed Broadbent could draw such a large crowd. It is no surprise Brian Mulroney has been picked number 1 in Canada. | think Turner and Broadbent should learn a lesson from all this, and produce a fresher and newer way to express their ideas. It is clear that it was the hit single,We’re Going P.C. Now, that sent Mulroney over the top.