Arts & Entertainment

Luke Simcoe
arts@theotherpress.ca

 

 

The Other Boleyn Girl looks better naked

Laura

Kelsey
assistant editor

   
  

 

Eric Bana, Natalie Portman, and Scarlett
Johansson star in the period film The
Other Boleyn Girl, a movie that has
more ambition than Belinda Stronach.
But despite the A-list cast, it ultimately
comes across as a shoddily-edited bimbo
of a flick—nice to look at but lacking
any real content.

If viewers unaware of the
Boleyn/Henry historical saga are looking
to follow along with the movie, they
might be completely dumbfounded; the
editing is so poorly done that one minute
Queen Catherine is on the throne and the
next she disappears for good. (Historians,
too, may get lost—Showtime’s drama
The Tudors has far more accuracy than
Boleyn Girl.)

Besides the editing, the camera
work is also horrible. Perhaps the director
was trying to add to the scandalous nature
of the movie by filming from behind

columns and through drapes, or perhaps
he was just trying to be unconventional,
but either way, the strange angles and
obstacles in front of the camera just
distract the audience.

The incredible costume design
goes a long way toward redeeming the
film—but even it is tarnished by the
confusing editing. The Boleyn sisters
sometimes wear the same outfit for days
in a row, and they get to wear much
fancier clothes than the other ladies-in-
waiting. It all seems a bit random. One
could argue that in Medieval Times
women rarely washed and didn’t possess
infinite wardrobes, but when the only
amazing feature of a movie is glaringly
inconsistent, it feels sloppy.

Bana plays a reluctant King
Henry VIII, and halfway through the
movie he seems to lose interest in his role
completely, perhaps realizing the poor
calibre of the film he is starring in. One
glaring omission from the scenes is Bana
without clothes. While there are short
flashes of his hot, hairy man-chest, the
glimpses are brief and unsatisfying; the
other male cast members are definitely
not gawk-worthy, so the lack of a nude
king helps to sink the film.

Portman and Johansson,
however, do a good job of bringing

the pretty, but Johansson plays a flaky,
spineless Mary Boleyn almost too well.
Her performance is half-hearted, and
at times it is embarrassing to watch her
spit out her fake English accent. On
the other hand Portman, as ambitious
social climber Anne Boleyn, struts her
refined acting chops as usual. But, it is
interesting to watch her wear a corset and
try to squish boobs out of her mammary

inadequacies.

If viewers want to see a film
with boring actors, frolicking children
in fields of golden wheat, predictable
dialogue, and a fully clothed Eric Bana,
then The Other Boleyn Girl is not one to
miss. Otherwise, would-be audiences can
save their $11 and buy a sheet of glass
to chew on—which they will probably
enjoy more.

 

 

TAKE FOUR

 

EA SPORTS
NHL 2008

The latest instalment of EA’s famous
NHL franchise is quite possibly the
best one yet. Not since NHL ‘04 have
they produced one this good. It is far
and away the most realistic of the
series, even though it is ridiculously
hard to score goals—I guess it really
is becoming more and more like the
present-day NHL. The dynast mode of
the game really puts you in complete
control of the team, far more than the
player has ever been before. For the
first time, the player has control over
the minor league affiliate of any NHL
club he or she chooses, and can watch
younger players can improve as the
dynasty progresses. While the previous
three NHL games really didn’t add
anything to the series, NHL 2008 gives
the franchise the ray of hope it’s been
looking for.

- Garth McLennan

16

 

METRIC
LIVE AT THE
METROPOLIS

This is Metric’s first live DVD, and

it features a 13-song performance at
the Metropolis Theatre in Montreal. It
also has three music videos from their
second album, “Live It Out.” The band
puts on a great performance, with each
song taking on new dimensions not
found in its original album version.
The one that stands out the most is

the extended, improvisational version
of “Dead Disco” during the concert’s
encore, which expands the song

to nearly ten minutes. Lead singer
Emily Haines also delivers a fierce
performance on hits like “Monster
Hospital” and “Combat Baby.” I think
she’s one of the best frontwomen in
rock today; her only flaw is that her
dancing is atrocious, although it makes
the DVD even more fun to watch!

- Mark Fisher

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TIM HARFORD
THE LOGIC OF LIFE

An English economist and journalist
from London, Tim Harford seeks to
understand irrational human behaviours
based on rational economic models. He
uses the ideas of Nobel Prize-winning
Economist winner Gary Becker to
rationalize the irrational decisions of
human beings. Harford tries to explain
the process of decision making from an
economics perspective by explaining
that we unconsciously calculate every
decision that we make to see whether
its payoffs are beneficial or not. The
payoffs, in Harford’s point of view, can
be tangible or intangible. This book,
which was featured recently on The
Colbert Report, is written in a simple
language and is very entertaining.

- Siavash Rokni

  

WIENER DOGS

For those uninterested in the stretch of
childbirth or the long wait for adoption,
consider a wiener—dog that is. Wiener
dogs, or dachshunds, were bred into
their current form in the Middle

Ages, and used to hunt badgers and
rabbits, thus developing their unique
long, narrow bodies. And wieners still
hunt— but they now hunt for love, not
for rodents. Dachshunds are known

to be a loving breed in a soft casing
of fur; it’s rare to sleep alone when
a wiener’s around. Because of their
burrowing ways, wiener dogs will dig
beneath a sleeping owner while she
sleeps—and still somehow find air to
breath under the sheets. But the breed
is also notorious for gaining weight;
dachshunds need strict diets and a lot of
exercise to keep their wiener shape —or
else they may start looking like a
stuffed sausage very quickly.

- Laura Kelsey