The “Other” News

“Salty” Liam Britten

saltyliam @ gmail.com

 

 

Bangladesh Announces An Even
Cheaper “World's Cheapest Car”

“Salty”
Liam Britten

resident all-star

   
 

 

DHAKA, BANGLADESH — Inresponse
to Tata Motors of India producing
the Nano, the world’s cheapest car,
a Bangladeshi

the working class of Bangladesh,
who until now would not have been
able to afford a car. But at the price
of $48 dollars, it will be affordable
to a great many people.

Part of the car’s low cost
is its engine. Instead of a traditional
combustion engine, the Mamo is
powered by Friction Engineered
Engagement Technology, also
known as FE.E.T. Another cost-
saver is the halving of the wheels.
Instead of four wheels, two will be

used instead.

company has fired “Instead of a traditional “This vehicle

back, producing combustion engine, the is exactly what is

an even cheaper fame is powered by Friction 2°°4°4torthepeople

world’s cheapest : of Bangladesh,” said

ae Engineered Engagement ay Masta, CEO
The car Jechnology, also known as of Not Tata Motors.

has been dubbed F.ELE.T.” “And it is not a vehicle

the Mamo, and without choice; although

is being produced by Not Tata Motors
based in Rajshahi. The car is aimed at

we are only releasing a one-speed right
now, we are predicting that an 18-speed

   

model could be on the streets by 2011.”

The car is currently a two-seater,
but a third passenger can also be carried
if the unique steering system known as

  

““Hand-L-Bars” are made to double as a
seat. Trunk space is minimal, but can be
increased if one attaches a basket to the
front.

 

Eye Contact Successfully Avoided on Bus

By “Salty” Liam Britten

PORT COQUITLAM, BC—On an early
morning bus ride yesterday, commuter
Corey Richman was able to successfully
avoid eye contact with former high
school classmate Chris Hicks for over

18

45 minutes.

Richman, 24, boarded the bus
heading from Port Coquitlam to New
Westminster at 7:23 AM, and two stops
later, he noticed that a former high

 

a

school classmate, Hicks, was about to
get on. Richardson knew that any eye
contact that would almost certainly have
resulted in awkward conversation.
“There was no way | was going

to talk to that guy [Hicks] for a whole
half hour or whatever,” Richman told
The Other Press. “So 1 had to pull out
all the stops, ‘cause if he saw me seeing
him, that was it, | was through.”

Richman did all in his power
to avoid the dreaded eye contact.
Complicating matters was the fact that
his seat was facing forward, while Hicks’
was rear-facing. “That really made things
tough, it meant I couldn’t look forward
or up without risking it,” Richman said.
So, for 45 minutes, Richman looked
everywhere but the front; he spent 15
minutes staring blankly at his iPod
screen, despite the fact that there was
no video function. He read over the
shoulder of the passenger he was sitting
next to for ten minutes, until she got off
in Coquitlam. He even read a brochure
on Hepatitis C over 21 times.

But his efforts paid off; he

was able to make it to his destination at
Braid SkyTrain Station without tiring,
awkward conversation. The ordeal was
over.
“You know, sometimes things happen
for a reason,” Richman said in an
interview. “Maybe this was God’s will
that it happened like this, I don’t know.
All I do know is that Chris guy is totally
annoying, and I did not want to have a
post-high school “where are you now”
talk with him.”

Hicks, when queried by the
Other Press, only said, “Who the hell is
Corey Richman?”