iw
am l

Kali Thurber, A&E Editor

Walk around the city with a giant sign on
your chest that reads, “I’m participating in
Buy Nothing Day. Please buy me things.”
You never know, you might get some suck-
ers who think they’re supporting anti-consumerism

by supporting you.

Go searching for found art. You won't have
to go very far, there’s probably some
trash,..um I mean art, right outside your
door.

 

Go for a long walk through Stanley Park
and don’t pay attention to the signs. Why?
Because it’s a free adventure, stupid.

Recruit a few friends to dress up like zom-
bies with you, and roam around the malls
mocking the non-participating shoppers
(Adbusters idea, not mine).

 

Play the Blood and Guts version of Risk.

It’s the same classic board game, but when

one of your armies attacks another playet’s,

you actually beat the shit out of each other.
Whoever wins the fistfight wins the country. There
ate obvious drawbacks to this version, but at least
this way instead of making snide political comments
when your “ally” breaks into your entire continent,
you can just give him a good shot in the head.

Do the Grouse Grind. It might just kill you

when you reach the top and realize that you

could have driven there, but you'll have

enough smoggy air in your lungs to last you
a lifetime, so at least you can say “I did the Grouse
Grind,” and you never have to suffer through it
again.

Create your own revolutionary theme day (if
those pompous jerks at Adbusters can do it,
so can you).

Go through your high-school yearbook and
make up elaborate stories about what your
ex-classmates are doing now. (Example:
“Tina Glover gained 150lbs and is still
working at KFC with her kleptomaniac
brother/lover.”) Then phone them up and find out
how many failed lives you got right.

 

 

 

Sit completely still, while staring at yourself in
a mirror for several hours. Sooner or later,
you'll go crazy (that’s still free, isn’t it?).

Forget about the state of the world, Buy

Nothing Day, and anything else you're sup-

posed to care about, and go out on the town

(I hear nothing tastes better on Buy Nothing
Day than caviar and Crystal).

november = a/a0ou