Creative A poem for men who don't understand what we mean when we say they have it. Privilege privilege is simple: going for a pleasant stroll after dark, not checking the back of your car as you get in, sleeping soundly, speaking without interruption, and not remembering dreams of rape, that follow you all day, that woke you crying, and privilege is not seeing your stripped, humiliated body * plastered in celebration across every magazine rack, privilege is going to the movies and not seeing yourself terrorized, defamed, battered, butchered seeing something else privilege is riding your bicycle across town without being screamed at or run off thefoad, not needing an abortion, taking off your shirt on a hot day, in a crowd, not wishing you could type better just in case, not shaving your legs, having a decent job and expecting to keep it, not feeling the boss hand up your crotch, dozing off on late-night buses, privilege is being the hero in the TV show not the dumb broad, living where your genitals are totemized not denied, knowing your doctor won't rape you privilege is being smiled at all day by nice helpful women, it is the way you pass judgment on their appearance with magisterial authority, the way you face a judge of your own sex in court and are over-represented in Congress and are not strip searched for a traffic ticket or used as a dart board by your friendly mechanic, privilege is seeing your bearded face reflected through the history texts not only of your high school days but all your life, not being relegated to a paragraph every other chapter, the way you occupy entire volumes of poetry and more than your share of the couch unchallenged, it is your mouthing smug, atrocious insults at women continued from page one ideals of youth and beauty. In the face of such cultural devaluation we come to believe that there is something wrong with us. An essential part of healing our shame is becoming aware of the role society has played in our feelings of unworthiness. From birth we are treated differently than little boys. We are encouraged to be “feminine,” to be good girls, to not get angry, and that our role is to take care of others. We learn that our appearance is of paramount importance and that we please people when we are pretty. Society's over-emphasis on feminine youth and beauty constantly makes us feel that we are never quite good enough, leading to low self-esteem and often life-threatening eating disorders. Small wonder so many women suffer from excessive amounts of shame—a double shame that comes not only from being raised in a troubled family but also from being born female in a male- dominated culture. We see women being treated as objects in the media. We observe women accommodating and serving men, whether as wives and mothers at home or in the world as nurses, secretaries, bookkeepers and flight attendants. We learn that our needs and wants aren't as important as those of men. As we watch men run our schools, corporations and government we conclude that they are more powerful, more entitled and more knowledgeable. Although we don’t consciously say to ourselves, “I’m not as powerful, as interesting, as deserving,” our position in the social hierarchy leaves us believing that we are deficient A Mother's Plea who blink and change the subject—politely—privilege is how seldom the rapist’s name appears in the papers and the way you smirk over your PLAYBOY Ir’s simply really, privilege means someone else’s pain, your wealth is my terror, your uniform is a women raped to death here or in Cambodia or wherever wherever your obscene privilege writes your name in my blood, it’s that simple you've always had ir, that’s why it doesn’t seem to make you sick at stomach you have it, we pay for, now do you understand by D.A. Clarke, Banshee, 1981 Hey Womyn and Allies, I sweated, stayed awake hours, went wild, had some beautiful insights, and got really smart about what to put into this power packed issue. I think that I did a pretty good job of putting this Womyn’s Sup together. Fortunately or unfortunately, because of some electronic temper tantrums this ish couldn't come out until after TWD last weekend. My sincere and deepest apologies with regards to that. I didn’t get some of what I wanted for this ish to happen, happen (like some womyn-centred business ads), but I hope that you will - all enjoy this ish anyway. I do want to thank all the people who wrote, contributed plus the help of all the OPie production prisoners. Ya'll were great. the mighty & magnificent Gweny Or nT Cen Womyn's Suppliment - Gweny Wong submit@op. douglas. bc.ca Contributors this Womyn's issue Andrew Carroll, Anonymous, Christine Evans, Corene McKay, D.A. Clarke, Emergene Sam, Hamish Knox, Homan Sanaie, Joyce Robinson, Kendra K, Kristina Holtz, Marlene Finlayson, Monique Tamminga, Susanna Kong, Sylvia Robertson, Trent Ernst. All materials appearing in the Other Pres are copyright of their creators and may not be reproduced in any form without their creators’ express written consent. Dear God, preserve my sanity and restore the child to me. Please give me the serenity to cope with this harsh reality. | feel such pent up anger. The light is dim and fading fast. This pain will always linger, even when the worst has past. Close ones, those who would be my friend in my grief are pushed aside. Help me break this lonely trend, and together though the storm, abide. The clouds are heavy, the sky is grey. The rain has come with all its fury. Please hold me now, til wake of day and these become just words fora story The Wiccan Rede Bide these Wiccan laws ye must with perfect love and perfect trust. Live and let live, fairly take and fairly give. Cast the circle thrice about to keep all evil spirits out; to bind a spell every time let the spell be spoke in rhyme. Soft of eye and light of touch, speak ye little, listen much. Desoil go by waxing moon sing and dance ye wiccan rune. Widdershins go by waning moon chanting out the baleful tune. When the Lady's moon is new, kiss ye hands to her times two. When the moon rides at her peak then your heart's desire seek. Heed the Northwind’s mighty gale, lock the door, and trim the sail. When the wind comes From the South, love will kiss you on the mouth. When the wind blows from the West, departed souls will have no rest. When the wind blows from the East, expect the new, and set the feast. Nine wood ‘neath in cauldron go. Burn them Fast, and burn them slow. Elderwood, the Lady's tree, burn it not, or cursed you'll be. When the Wheel begins to turn, soon the Beltaine fires will burn. by Sylvia Robertson When the Wheel has turned to Yule, Tight the log, the Horned One rules. Teaching; Flower bus and tree, by the Lady, blessed be. Where the rippling waters go, cast the stone, and truth you'll know. When ye have and hold a need, harken not to others’ greed. With a Fool, no season spend, or be counted as his Friend. Merry meet and merry part bright the cheeks and warm the heart. Mind the threefold law ye should three times bad and three times good. When misfortune is anow, ~ _ wear the star upon thy brow. True in love ye must ever be, lest thy love be False to thee. These eight words in rede fulfill: And ye harm none, do what thou will. What ye sends forth comes back to ye So evermind the rule of three Follow this with mind and heart And Merry ye meet, and Merry ye ie by Anonymous compared to males. We need to realize that these feelings stem from centuries of society treating women as second-class citizens, denying us the right to vote, to own property, to determine the course of our own lives, to define ourselves. All this is changing, however slowly. We need to continue to work for accessible and affordable daycare, humane working conditions, fair and equal wages, unbiased teaching, and an increased voice in government, business and other institutions. While we work for equality, both at home and in society, instead of under- valuing or negating our special stre’ acquired as females in a male-dominated culture—we need to appreciate our ability to be vulnerable, to ask for support, to have our feelings, to be empathic, to work for relationships that thrive and to be committed to the growth of others. At the same time, we need to develop our often neglected ability to think for ourselves, to act in our own best interests, to give ourselves permission to compete and succeed without feeling . “unfeminine” or undeserving of our About Christine Evans Christine Evans, MA, author and Marriage and Family Therapist, has been in private practice for twenty-three years, in Sebastopol, California. Her book, Breaking Free of the Shame Trap: How Women Get Into It, How Women Get Out of It, has received widespread acclaim. She is a keynote speaker and leads women’s support groups and workshops on both shame and empowerment. She may be contacted at 707.829.5901, or emailed at cevans@sonic.net. Marlene Finlayson, M.A. R.c.c. 202-1128 West Broadway Vancouver, BC, Telephone: 739.8909 Marlene is a BC native who returned to Vancouver in 1994 after almost a decade in Ontario. She holds a BA in psychol- ogy and an MA in Counselling Psychol- ogy, both from UBC. Marlene has 14 years of counselling experience including work in college, hospital and employee assistance program environments. She is in her second year as a volunteer board member of the Canadian Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD). In November 1995, Marlene began her private practice in counselling, which includes work on a range of personal, relationship and family issues. Some areas of specialization are: Family-related issues, relationship counselling, disordered eating, grief work and stress management. Her therapeutic approach is client- Honor is dynamic & tantalizing Emergene Sam Montreal born writer, performer and teacher Honor Ford-Smith gave her audience a dynamic and tantalizing performance during her stage show My Mother’s Last Dance on Sunday, March 1, 1998, at the Women in View Festival at Vancouver's East Cultural Centre. The performance is a story of the life of her Jamaican born mother and the intrica- cies of the Caribbean colonial legacy. The show is captivating, thought- provoking and humorous. You don’t want to miss a moment of it. Honor tells her story through slides of family photographs, voice variations, songs and movements. She brings out the sacred and the profane in Caribbean family relations. She is humorous, impressive, and she dissects Jamaican- Caribbean culture like it never has been done before. Honor tells a bitter-sweet story of the her family life and the years of growing up in the Caribbean and her acceptance of her mother’s legacy. She accomplishment. Instead of letting others define femininity, we must define it for ourselves. Because society (including ourselves) expects us to take care of others, our attempts to expand beyond the role of caretaker, to be assertive, to think for ourselves, to be angry, or to be self- assured, often leave us feeling “unfemi- nine” and ashamed. When we act in our own interests, we risk being called selfish, too competitive, or unloving, and we fear our independence will jeopardize our relationships. Yet if we give up too much of ourselves for the sake of preserving these relationships, we love too much or are “codependent.” Either path leads to shame. Our challenge is to define and accept ourselves as women committed to maintaining our relationships while at the same time maintaining a strong sense of self. We can be both nurturing and powerful. In order to become whole, we need to both heal our inner shame and work toward a society that values women as equals. Then, and only then, will we be free. centered, in order to allow ultimate respect and space for a client's needs and goals. In Marlene’s experience, the counselling relationship is a creative one in which clients are able to discover the essence and meaning of their life journeys. She feels it is a great honour to receive the trust of clients, and to be abl to participate in facilitating the discove: of their unfolding life stories. Marlene offers a sliding fee schedule. Her office has free parking in the back and is wheelchair accessible. Please call 739-8909. Marlene is volunteering her services for the Woman's Health Information Centre providing free counselling services at the Collective (219-1675 W. 8th. Ave). Women interested in this service can phone Marlene at 739.8909 employs all types of poetic and theatrica devices to illuminate the story and whay emanates is a rhythmic, original and powerful story of Caribbean colonial tradition. Among her other contributions to Caribbean literature are “Belly woman Bangarang,’ ‘Fallen Angel’ and the Devi Concubine,’ and ‘Sweet Sugar Rage’ and a book entitled Lionheart Gal which sh co-authored and edited with the Jamaican Theatre Company, Sistern. As a person of Caribbean heritage I feel tha Honor Ford-Smith should be put on th Honour’s List for Caribbean-WestIndia Literature. 2 2 March 11, 1998 The © ther Press