© Wilson the other press e Horoscopes It’s “T” Time Miss Tarantula Time OP Contributor Aquarius January 20-February 18 This is a rare segment of time that is yours for the taking, Aquarius. Whether you feel like flying a kite, eating brownies, or reading water- proof books of erotica, no guilt should be felt for your actions. In fact, every self-gratifying action you make this week is the right one. Pisces February 19-March 20 You need a change, Pisces, and you need it bad. Even the mirror is start- ing to tire of your monotonous appearance, and then there’s your significant other. Well, they're about ready to chop off your head just to see something new. So switch it up a bit—try a different color of blush, pluck out all your eyebrows, or shave your head bald. Do some- thing, anything, but do it now! Aries March 21-April 19 The winds have shifted, and they're taking you with them. Unlike the desperate Pisces, flux comes easily to you, so this is a time for you to show your wishy-washy ways with pride. When the boss asks you to take a long vacation without pay, think of it as a free ride to a new career. Hah! You thought this was going to be a nice week, didn’t you? Taurus April 20-May 20 There’s a fun-lovin’ hippy who's got their eye on you, my friend. He's someone you've known for years but has just now taken a keen liking to you. You should go for it! This could be the hot, passionate love affair that you've been waiting for. Taurus men, this is your time to fly bi. Gemini May 21-June 21 In true Gemini fashion, you believe in your own cunning aptitude beyond all else. This week will test your confidence however, as great opportunities that require real dedi- cation are on their way. Your ticket to success: booze, baby, booze. Cancer June 22-July 22 You want to change the world for the better, Cancer, but you've just never been notified of a good cause with enough time to plan for it? I know it’s hard to juggle all that you do, but you've got to make time for the good of the world. March 8, 2004 is National Women’s Day— make yourself be seen at the rally. Leo July 23-August 22 Oh dear, Leo, you are in a spot. The pull for financial freedom has forced other parts of your life to be neglect- ed. What you have sacrificed is sex- ual pleasure, and boy do you need it. The irony is that the money is prob- ably how you got your honey, so youre going to have to pull a few all- nighters if you know what I mean. Virgo August 23-September 22 There's a battle at hand, Virgo, and youre going to win it. That’s the rose of the situation, but there’s also a thorn. When you do win the bat- tle, it won't get you what you desire. Libra September 23-October 22 Spring is in the air, Libra, and the crowds are waiting for your spicy energy. Skip school, hook up with a Gemini, and have a blast! If some- one asks what the party’s for, tell them it’s all for Tarantula Time and her glorious advise. Oh stop, I’m going pink. Scorpio October 23-November 21 The stars are talking to me, and they are telling me that you've been March 3, 2004 singing lately. Wait, now the crystal ball is saying something...I think I can hear the song. The words go, “Tm a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me.” Wow, you really are depressed—but reverting back to 1994 isn’t going to help you. Live in the now, and things will get better eventually. Sagittarius November 22-December 21 I have two words for you—teenile, and psst. Knowing your ignorance, Pll define these for you. Teenile refers to old people dressing as if they're teenagers, and psst stands for Plastic Surgery Something Terrible. Put these together, and we're left with the awful truth of your style sense. You're old, and you know it, so quit pretending. Capricorn December 22-January 19 People have been talking about you—and not in a flattering way. Everyone keeps saying how uptight you are, how youre always bringing the group down. Throw a crazy theme party (try for 1999 New Year's theme, and if it doesn’t fly, change it to a Prince theme) and show everyone what a blast you are. Contact: Alyona Douglas College New Westminster Campus Room 1020 Mon, Tue, Thr 10:00 - 4:30 pmhtaxes@shaw.ca PMH Accounting Services 10 Successful years in business - Personal tax returns - Small business returns - Competitive rates Tel: 604-522-2152 Fax: 604-522- 7335 Edmonds St, Burnaby V3N 1A7 7891 http://www.otherpress.ca Page 11