issue 08 // volume 42

 

The philosophical ‘Monster’

» Energy drinks and why they’re so popular

: school students that used the

: seating area to wait for their

: bus would do the exact same

: thing, to the point where, in

: 2010, I had to call an ambulance
: because a kid had a heart attack
: caused by drinking back-to-

: back 5-hour energy shots his

: mother had bought for him.

  

Brittney MacDonald

 
 

A couple weeks ago I drank my
irst Monster Energy drink

in about two years. Usually I
stick to black coffee and a lot of
ginseng and green tea when I’m
feeling a bit burnt out, but I was
in arush. As I sipped what can
only be described as the most
toxic tasting thing I have ever
put in my mouth, I contemplated
what brought me to this point.
Why would something that
tastes so vile be so successful,
and why did I even think of
buying one and then proceed

to drink the entire thing? In
essence, what I’m asking is:
what changed in our society to
make energy drinks a thing?

A few years ago I worked
asa clerk at a gas station that
doubled as a sandwich and pizza
shop. I know it sounds weird,
but it was literally in the middle
of nowhere and the only things
around were wood mills. The

men, would come in at around
4:30 a.m. to get cigarettes,

much whatever else they would
need before their shift—and I
would be remiss if I didn’t point
out that probably about 8 out of
10 of them bought energy drinks.
Not that surprising, considering
the hours they worked. What
shocked me is that the high

Now I waited a while before

: attended post-secondary,

: so I don’t really know if the

: pressure placed on high school
: kids warrants an energy drink
: addiction—or if it’s merely one
: of those fads caused by clever

: advertising and kids wanting

: to stay up late. I do know

: what it’s like to be a college/

: university student, though.

At around my third year, |

began to understand the phrase: :
: “You can sleep when youre dead.” :
: School is extremely demanding— :
: weekdays filled with hours upon
: hours of lectures you need to be
: awake and alert for, followed by
: study sessions that go late into

: the night, homework, and essays
: that have to be researched and
mill workers, most of them young ; then written in several drafts
: before the due date. It can be
: overwhelming. Good thing
breakfast sandwiches, and pretty : YOU have your weekends right?

: No—weekends are spent either
: one of three ways: you use them
: to complete the practically

: endless amount of work you’ve

? accumulated during the week,

: you allow your friends to drag

: you out because they've been

; complaining they never see you

; anymore—and you need time

: with them so as not to turn into
: a hysterical mess of stress—or

: you work, because tuition and

: bills don’t suddenly disappear

: because you need a nap.

Being a student is not

: easy; in fact, it’s probably one
: of the most difficult things

: you will ever do in your

: life—and depending on your
: life goals you could be stuck

: doing it for a long time.

So considering all that

: pressure, pressure that only
: seems to be growing as time
: goes on and the job market
: becomes more competitive,
: it’s easy to understand how

 

Boomerang

» The expanding influence of Instagram

  

Brittney MacDonald

Se media giant Instagram
is expanding their brand
by creating a completely new
app called Boomerang. Despite
their popularity, Instagram is
constantly trying to improve
and keep themselves fresh,
sometimes to their detriment—
have you seen their new layout?
It’s awful. However, Boomerang
is shaping up to be a cute little
side project that could have
the people over at Instagram
patting themselves on the back.
It’s not a complicated
process: take what people love
about your original idea, and just
tweak it a bit so that it seems
new, but not too new. In the
case of Boomerang, they took
Instagram’s latest video function,
as well as their original photo
functions, and combined them.
The result is a new app devoted
to one second videos made up of
five photos taken in succession.

 
 

: What you get is a silent gif

: that’s aesthetically disjointed.

: It’s cute and fun, and slightly

: nostalgic—the mini-movies look
: like silent films from the 20s.

: You might be asking yourself, :
: why make this an entirely new

: app when you could just add it to
: the original Instagram? That’s a

: good question, and unfortunately :
: it’s one I do not have an answer
: to. My only explanation is that

: Instagram wanted to have the

: app require a third party for

: publication. Boomerang itself

: doesn’t have a feed, probably

: because doing so would put the
: app in direct competition with its :
: predecessor. Instead, the mini-

: movies are saved to your phone

: and you can share them through
: Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook.

Now, if your social media

: prowess pre-dates Instagram, this :
: idea might sound familiar. It’s :
: very similar to the iOS (and as of
: this week, Android) app Phhhoto, :
: a startup that was expected

: to be a direct competitor of

: Instagram. Eventually, Phhhoto

: was overtaken by Instagram

: in popularity—for good

: reason. It has this nasty stalker
: function that allowed you to

: GPS people. Now, apparently

Instagram believes enough

: time has passed for the public
: to forget that they're totally
: ripping off someone else. But

what’s the problem? Google

: does it all the time! Speaking

: of Google, ever heard of the

: animation feature in Google

: Photos? Yeah, Boomerang is

: completely ripping them off too.

To be fair, this process

: of successful social media

companies absorbing or

: appropriating the ideas of failed
: ones is done all of the time—and
: unless the failed company has

: a patent on their technology,

: there’s pretty much nothing

anyone can do about it.
For me, I'll probably

: download Boomerang, play

with it for a week, and then get

: bored and delete it. Cute little
: side projects only get you so far
: when they're a bit gimmicky.

 

energy drinks wormed their way
: into our lives. We have been

: taught that if you’re sleeping,

: youve not being productive.

Now, as I stated before,

: I don’t drink energy drinks

: often. lam, however, guilty of

: succumbing to their back water
: cousin, “jet fuel.” Now, “jet fuel”
: might be a term unique to SFU
? and Kwantlen, but it’s when you
: mix strong black coffee with

: Pepsi or Coke. Essentially what
: It does is give you a sugar rush

: that lasts a lot longer, because

: there’s more caffeine involved.

: It’s extremely bad for you,

: and causes some pretty nasty

: stomach cramps if you drink

life & style // no. 17

Illustration by Ed Appleby

: too much of it—hence why I

> can’t judge anyone who drinks
: Monster and other beverages

: like it on a regular basis.

So who do I blame for

: energy drinks being such a

: major part of our society? |

: think it should be obvious, but |
: blame the expectations that we
: have created for ourselves. The

: growing popularity of energy

: drinks is just a symptom of a

: much larger problem—the denial
: that we need to maintain our

: own physical and mental health
: in favour of becoming perfect,

: productive members of society.

wW #DOUGLIFE

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< Tweet

 

Sallad

@SalladT

 

People that go to doudiascollege
need to check that truck out.
Tuesday's @_cheesescrust is
outside of David lam.

2015-10-20, 12:28 PM

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