By Dylan Hackett, Staff Writer

e’re stuck here in the time of
year where you'll often find
a classmate or two coughing

profusely in the seat next to you. It’s a
bother that the months of cough, cold,
and flu coincide with the time that
final papers, essays, and exams fly at
you faster than a wayward sneeze but,
luckily, I have a guide applicable for
both students ill and students looking to
avoid a similar fate.

Show up to class. Although
healthy students may have qualms
with the idea of me encouraging sick
students to attend classes, sniffles
shouldn’t warrant an absence. Missing
a lecture or a lab for the sake of rest
may seem like a payoff when your
sinuses are bulging into your brain,
but falling behind in class and the
subsequent catching-up will make
recovery even more difficult. If you’re
taking transit to class, add a layer or
two to simulate the warmth of a well-
tucked bed and don’t dress to impress:
stay practical and warm. If you’re
absolutely stricken by a chunderous flu
and leaving your abode is not an option,
then make sure you do something
productive for the cause of the class
18

like study for your exam or work on a
final paper.

Up your vitamin C and D intake.
While even three-year-olds know that
vitamin C is good for your immune
system, it has recently come to light
that vitamin D is also an essential
immune system booster. Buying a
box of fresh mandarin oranges is a
tasty and wise investment for both the
sick and sick-weary student. Orange
juices are often fortified with vitamin
D along with many dairy products and
substitutes like soy milk. Supplements
like Emergen-C are also useful for
immune-boosting because they kick
you with 1000mg of vitamin C and
other vitamins and minerals you may
be lacking.

Take drugs. Quaffing a bottle of
Buckley’s will help you get through
your day, treat your symptoms,
and if the variety you buy contains
dextromethorphan then you’ll be going
through the hoops of daily life with
an enjoyable buzz. If you’re feeling
less adventurous, take recommended
spoonful amounts of whatever cough
syrup pleases you most—anything of
the sort helps. Be careful about which
cold and flu drugs you take before sleep
because they have different effects

for people. If you know from prior
experience that a certain “nighttime”
cold and flu drug makes your sleeps
bountiful with tossing and turning,
then pace the timing of your intake
accordingly.

Sleep early and as long as
possible. Getting fruitful sleeps will
help you get over your sickness faster
and make your waking hours less
strenuous. If you have trouble entering
the realm of slumber, try taking
melatonin, a naturally occurring sleep
hormone to ease you into your log-
sawing. If you’re unwilling to pay for a
larger container of melatonin, you can
purchase a sleep-drink called “Drank”
(marketed to be like inner-city cocktail
“purple drank”) which contains a small
amount of melatonin and tastes like
corn-syrupy grapey goodness. If you
have trouble taking cough syrup, then
you might want to mix it in with your
Drank like a gangsta’ would do. Jam
“You Be Illin’” by Run-D.M.C. while
you write your term paper and this
picture is complete.

Keep lots of tissue on you. It’s
gross and slightly faux pas to stuff
a used (even though folded) tissue
into your back pocket or purse, but if
it means a reuse in an urgent, snotty

colds and fend off the flu

situation than it might be worth it. Both
the environment and your nose will
thank you. Having a large amount of
tissues on you at all times prevents you
from having to rash your nose with the
sandpaper-rough Douglas washroom
toilet paper. It’s also probably worth
buying Puffs tissue if you don’t mind
perpetually oily fingers. They even
unintentionally healed the broken skin
on my guitar-callused fingertips!

Stay warm and layer up. On the
way to your night class you may have
been fine but exiting the school to the
nip of the air is far from welcoming.
Wear your warmest coat. If you’re
going out on the town this weekend,
wear two pairs of socks. It also has
been neurologically confirmed that
women are 30 per cent more likely to
have an orgasm with socks on. Your
warm feet could mean a better end to a
successful night out!

Don’t let a cold get in the way of
you coming down the home stretch of
fall semester. Incorporate these tips
into your daily routine and you should
make it through the winter months even
healthier than before.