issue 08 // volume 42 humour // no. 23 BREAKING: Canada post election » Many scared, confused Chandler Walter Humour Editor © humour@theotherpress.ca hese past months of Canadian electoral campaigning have seen their fair share of promises, pledges, and calls for change. The cry for change was so loud, in fact, that Canadians nationwide elected out the old Conservative government and ushered in a new Liberal majority, defeating ex-prime minister and Conservative Party leader Stephen Harper by quite the margin. With a majority government, newly-elected Prime Minister Justin Trudeau should have no problem passing laws through government to give Canadians the change they were promised. Yet, many Canadians are finding a Liberally-run Canada much the same as the old one. “I didn’t vote to get Harper : out just to see Canada stay the : way it was,” said concerned : : student, John Mulner. “Yet that’s : : what we have today. I look out : my window; it’s the same view. : The names of the streets are : still the same. Hell, even the : mountains on the horizon look: : unchanged. What gives, Justin?” : The situation is especially : dire for Vancouverite Thom : Moffat, who was banking : on Trudeau holding to : his promise of legalizing : marijuana once elected. “Tm freaking out, man,” : Moffat said. “I told my dealer : [didn’t need him any more. : It was heartbreaking. I mean, : yeah, I miss him, I miss him : more than I thought possible, : but it’s just not something : you can go back to, you know? : There’s just some sparks you : can't reignite, no matter how : brightly they once burned...” : Unfortunately for Moffat, : Trudeau's Liberal government : has yet to make good on any : of their election promises. “It’s been like, a whole week,” Moffat said. “You : would think he would have : done something big by now. : Maybe we should have voted : in that beardy guy. I liked : his smile—it was just like ro my old weed dealer’s. Moffat has enough of his : stash left to last him the next : few weeks if he rations it, but : if Trudeau doesn’t act quickly, : Moffat worries he may be left : sober and helpless, betrayed : by the very government : he voted into power. The country remains restless, and it appears the : higher-ups may have left the : common folk out to dry. One can only hope that : the politicians will be able : to evaluate, write, discuss, : vote on, and pass through : some legislation over the next : few weeks, or Canada may : very well decide it is time for ; some change once again. Image via thinkstock Image via gq.com The most popular costumes this Halloween » Impress your friends with these creative costumes : Because it’s cold? (LOL) And : then to top it off, be sure to : act sexually aggressive to : all the women at the party. I : mean, it’s what they should : have known would happen : showing up to a party that Whether youre in : : : Canada or America, everyone featured Netflix and Chill! can appreciate a good throw to political intrigue. With all the elections going on, political figures are practically celebrities Chandler Walter Humour Editor S humour@theotherpress.ca Ss” Politician A Pedestrian : You can literally dress : how you normally would! : No effort necessary! You this October! A ere. : could also say that youre a Hi ol -Woasted Jeans By David Manky,. Columnist QUPIAIKY do-it-yourself Sexy Justin Trudeau costume includes beautiful dark hair, coloured contact lenses (colour: soul soothing-grey) and a bodysuit of bulging muscles. Go as boxer Trudeau, long hair Trudeau, Prime Minister Trudeau, or any fun Trudeau you can imagine! Alternatively, you can dress as Sexy Donald Trump. Costume includes a bundle of damp straw to glue onto your head, unapologetic charisma, and a boombox blasting Aerosmith’s “Dream On” everywhere you go. An easy way to pull off the Trump costume this B So you have a face, right? Halloween is to get waaaa : too drunk, off of both alcohol “oun ee and self-entitlement. : ea ee : dress as the popular social : media website. All you need : is your face (check!) and a : sharpie. Take the sharpie : and write “Asshole” across : your face, and then literally : knock yourself out with a : large book. You might not : wake up in time to make it : to the Halloween party, but : in that case youre doing : everyone a favour by not : showing up with that shitty : Facebook “costume.” : nudist on strike, or a very : undercover police officer. : All your friends will laugh : and think you are literally : the cleverest person at the : party. You'll probably even : get laid with such a smart : costume. Take that, people : who actually put effort and : time into crafting creative : costumes to impress their : friends and partygoers. : Be sure to make a big : fuss if you aren’t let into : a “costumes only” event, : it adds to the charm. Facebook Netflix and Chill What better way to convince the hip young children that youve still with the times than to dress as their favourite phrase? This costume is easy to pull off, as all you need is a red shirt with “NETFLIX” sharpied onto it, and a bag of ice. Get it? Because the ice is the “Chill” part of the costume?