Inspirational story: My

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commute is still terrible

> My authentic Surrey experience with TransLink’s new budget

Greg Waldock
Staff Writer

 

e’ve all heard the rumours of
TransLink’s new budgets, buses,

and schedules. I'll admit it: I was afraid.
What would happen to the grungy old
bus seats from the 1980s? How could I
sleep at night knowing my train would not
suddenly stop 37 times just outside of Scott
Road station for endless maintenance? I
didn't know what to expect. TransLink is
entering a brave new world, and we're just
coming along for the overcrowded ride.

But I have good news, dear reader: My
bus was ten minutes late this morning. So
was the bus after that. Three active buses
and one Not in Service suddenly appeared
like a comforting cup of morning coffee.
Everything was the same as before, and it
was all I ever wanted. The homeless man
blocking the exit with a bag of smelly
recycling, the two crying babies at the
front, the jackass blaring loud music
without headphones... mornings on the
Surrey buses are still as magical as ever.

I'd heard the trains were going to run
more often from King George Station,
and that old trains would be replaced
with new ones. This was terrifying to me.
I'd never feel comfortable going over the
Fraser River unless I could also step over
a river of either old soda or old pee—hard
to tell sometimes—on my way to my
seat. The sleek new trains just don’t have

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

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that “we promise Surrey Central isn’t
still Whalley” charm. Well, this is the
second bit of good news: It’s just as gross
as ever. That morning, I discovered the
new SkyTrains already have comforting
piles of old newspapers underneath the
corner seats, maintenance at Scott Road
every single night is set to continue for the
next year, and people are still blocking the
doors with huge bikes! What a relief.
Arriving at New Westminster

station, I carefully avoided the yelling
people and Red Cross petitioners. This
station held my greatest fear regarding
the change; that the huge buses going
vertical up the big hill would suddenly be
safer, slower, and actually have functional
breaks. I’m glad I was wrong, yet again.
All the most dangerous buses were
replaced with new double-deckers! When
they hit the sharp corner down, they
majestically tipped and rolled; all while

 

the pedestrian light was on, of course.
This was an emotional day for me, my
friends. I was scared that my commute to
school would suddenly be punctual and
clean, that I could reliably make it home
at night without wondering if the trains
stopped early for cleaning. I even got
myself thinking that the 502 from Surrey
Central might actually show up at the
station on time. Thank God I was wrong.
TransLink is back and better than ever.

 

 

 

> Reindeer sugar cookie recipe

Mercedes Deutscher
Social Media Coordinator

- Try to give yourself some festive cheer while
the cookies bake. Pour eggnog and rum into
your everyday mugs. They're Christmas mugs,

 

Ingredients:

One package of Pillsbury
Shaped Reindeer Sugar Cookies

Eggnog
Une

Directions:

 

but you use them all year because that was
what was given to you when you moved out and
you don't have the motivation to go buy new
ones. Make sure your eggnog-to-rum ratio is at
least one part eggnog to four parts rum. Chug
that whole thing as fast as you can. Repeat.

- Prep the only large Tupperware container
you have. Line the bottom with paper

‘J Depression meals: Tis the season
for fighting your family

something,

dinner and

* When your

uncle. Instead of standing up and saying

make yourself another rum and eggnog.

- Sit on the couch while dinner is being made
and avoid socializing. Everyone but you
brought homemade treats. Since nobody
else is eating your cookies, eat six more.

* Keep drinking in silence. Sit down for

nod politely and say “Fine.” Make sure not to

 

* Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

- Feel a wave of accomplishment come over
you as you open the box of cookies and only
eat two of them raw. Sure, you meant to
make homemade cookies for your family’s
holiday gathering, but at least this isn’t
like last year where you made nothing.

- Place remaining cookies on a cookie sheet and

place in oven. Set your timer for 10-12 minutes.

towel. Or don’t. I don’t care.

* Take cookies out of the oven when timer
goes off. Let cool for five minutes.

- Eat two cookies. They’re so good fresh out of
the oven. Eat another one for good measure.

- Place cookies in Tupperware container.
Leave for your family dinner.

- Walk in the door of your mother’s place to
find your sister fighting with your racist

tell her that you dropped out weeks ago.
- Keep dodging pushy questions from your father.

- Start crying when he accuses you of
being a good-for-nothing liar. Go into
fetal position under the table.

- Congrats, you've just made this
dinner awkward for everyone.

- Go home and cry yourself to
sleep. Repeat next year.

 

 

walk to the booze counter and

shove turkey into your face.

mother asks how school is going,