Life&Style.

" eS.
|

| Want to get

| involved with
The Other

Press?

' Come to

"our Onnual

| Saturday,
December 8, 2012
10:00 a.m. to noon
| Room 1606,
New Westminster
| campus

| AGM HIGHLIGHTS:

| @ We will

| discuss the
current state

| and the

| future of The

Other Press

| © We will elect

| | anew board
of directors

@ .
| We will
| review our
constitution

And

more!

L

| Wherein your
| patience will be tried
| like never before

| By Laurel Borrowman,
Life & Style Editor

here are few things

| I yearn for as an

| adult. Living in the city,
you don’t really have to

| wait for anything ever. I
could put a kettle on to
boil, cue up Stepbrothers
on 1Channel, trot down

| the street to the 7/11,
pick up some candy, the

| latest Spin, a birthday
card for my brother, and

| be back home before the
kettle starts whistling

| and I’ve got the green

| light on 90 minutes of
Will Ferrell and John C.

| Reilly hilarity. All that
in about seven minutes.

| With conditions like that?
Yearning shmearning.

| Which brings me
to week three of home
brew how-to, in which
we'll revert back to our

| nine-year-old selves,

| in terms of our ability
to display patience. In
stages one and two,
we discussed supplies,

| time commitment, and
making wort. Your wort

| has now been burping for
three days or so (emitting
gasses, that is) and has

| now calmed down. My
friend, you now have

| beer. And now comes the
hard part: suppressing

| those nine-year-old urges
that will bubble up when

| you realize how badly
you just want to drink

| your brew, and drink it

| now instead of in three
weeks.

The time you spend

| actually doing stuff
from here on is minimal.

| There’s a lot of sanitizing

_j and siphoning, and

'

as before, I urge you

to consult with your
brewmaster on the
specifics. Like I said in
week one, if frat boys can
do this, then you sure

as fuck can. With that in
mind, here’s an overview
of this stage.

First, sanitize your
siphon, the bung (hee
hee) and your carboy
(the big glass container).
Next, peel the lid off the
primary (that big white

' Home brew how-to, part three

a: 7
a

wr

(because you'll have
gravity working with
you), so set the primary
on a counter or a stool,
and the carboy on the
floor. When you move
the primary, be gentle
and don’t let the beer
swish around. The goal
of this step is for the beer
to clear of sediment, so
the less that gets kicked
up, the better.

Once you have the
primary set higher than

 

The siphoning will
take a few minutes.
When the volume of the
primary is getting low,
make sure the siphon
doesn’t touch the bottom
of the primary, because
there will be more of
that muddy silty mess
sitting there, and again,
you don’t want that to
transfer into the carboy.

Once all the beer is
in the carboy, shove the
sanitized bung gently

Now comes the hard part: suppressing those
nine-year-old urges that will bubble up when you

C C realize how badly you just want to drink your brew,
and drink it now instead of in three weeks.

bucket) and set it aside. It
will be covered in thick,
silty brown residue and
look super gross, but that
means it’s working. Next,
you get your sanitized
siphon, your sanitized
carboy, and your fit
friend to help you with
any lifting. Remember,
you're dealing with about
25 litres of beer here.

The siphoning is much
more reasonable when
the primary is elevated
higher than the carboy

the carboy, put one end
of the siphon in the
primary and suck until
the beer starts to flow.
Take a swig. Hold the
beer you’ve sucked up
in your mouth and insert
that end of the siphon
into the carboy until it
touches the bottom, then
let it flow.

Swallow. That’s
your beer, man. Flat
and warm, yes, but you
now Officially have beer.
Congratulations!

into the opening of the
carboy, and leave that
stuff the eff alone! You'll
have to leave your beer
at this stage for at least
one week before bottling.
Yes, itis beer. No, you
can’t have it. Not in an
emergency. Not if you
come home all drunk
and think you just want a
taste. Not if there’s a fire.
Leave it alone, and
come back next week for
the last stage. Your inner
child will thank you.