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Get read for some cold hard reality softened by some vee unadulterated bullshit. by Paul Andrew Aries (Va 21-Apr 19) You would have won the lottery last week if vould have played & the er Anything positive this week is therefore considered a bonus. Don’t feel as though you have abandoned by those who love you because of your gambling faux-pas’s. You have been left own to i rm The — = cs ponder is: What tay I got cane Gemini (May 21-June 20) Right now, things are not exactly as you would like them to be. There is at least ne t your life that could be better, but you can quite put your finger onit. A committee ma} ‘be abl : you, but you might be better off to let. things unfold at their own Spee committee and apron yourself the chairperson. ea oe - Cancer (une I-Ji Nothing significant happening i in Logs" life worth paying attention a nightmares. These people will actually hip you, so give ‘them a ‘chance: ‘This will be 2 second chance for you to participate in me Quebec’ teferendom i in an anonymous, yet eonee | Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22) Nothing worth mentioning, so we’ll make something up. If you ever wanted to write poetry now is the perfect time to impress your friends and dazzle your family. Think of symbolism . am imagery as your main focus, and then forget about it and just make sure the diction makes sense Afterwards, you will be amazed at what you have accomplished. Publish it and move on to the nex challenge. sina -sruleds. 4 fsumee va Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22) The weather this time of year doesn’t bother you, and that irritates your friends. So your mait problem will be complicated social scenes that are created by your aloof, easy-going attitude (thi pisses people off sometimes). Take a hard-line stance once in awhile, just to see what happens. If thi doesn’t work, move back home with your parents. It might be your only hope. __ Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) Don’t let pesky things like mid-terms and seminar presentations upset the normal scheme ° things. Studying a little or studying a lot makes no difference if you don’t really know the stuf anyway. One suggestion might be to quit ignoring the urge to get really stoned. Do it the night befor your most important exam, and this should clear up any foggy thoughts that may have distracted you Sagittarius (Nov 21-Dec 21) You are the type of person who enjoys reading the fine-print on the side of non-recyclabl containers. So pay close attention to minute detail this week and it may explain your craving to Be out of that philosophy class and head straight for economics. Tell your instructor that you just can’ take it anymore, Be bold and ask for a transfer credit. Capricom (Wee 22-Feb 10) — Someone played a joke on you last time and had you interacting with the everyday weed 9 Pisces. Now it’s time to get even. Phone a Pisces of the opposite sex and convince them you ar madly in love, and you want to know how they feel about that. Afterward, be kind and gentle wher they find out all you really wanted in the first place was great sex. Pisces should be able to take thi truth. If that doesn’t work, do the same thing to a Scorpio. — Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Functioning as a normal person this time of year is just not your style. The reason you are si well-liked is because you are the antithesis of normal. However, you should give some — t what is considered “normal.” This task should keep you busy until the next issue. Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) You will soon realize moving back East is useless now that Jacque Parizeau coulda't ccaih start up a relationship at this time. Instead, the next two weeks will be spent on important matters lik making sure your blue-jeans fade properly, and all the French-language products on grocery stor shelves are turned around so you can only see the English-langyage side. You will feel better equippe to deal with life in general afterwards. If it happens to be your birthday when you are e residing thig:. You have a beautiful inner-quality. You love furry little animals, and you have three or four dozen o them in your home. Unlike your neighbors, you never pick the apples off the tree in their yard People compliment you on your glowing personality, and rightly so. However, you have overcom your fear of insects and crush them at will. Everyday is the first day of the rest of your life, and thi is your favorite saying. You have figured out what life is all about but are telling nobody becaus: nobody has asked you yet. That being said, you are content to hang out with strangers. Good luck!