opinions // 16

theotherpress.ca

War of the Words: Sibling rivalry

» Only (child) the lonely

 

 
  
  
  
  

Elliot Chan

i &:. Opinions Editor
i) Mopinions

fq) @theotherpress.ca

was a late-bloomer, in the

of my time was dedicated to
television, artworks, or other
solitary enjoyments. My
parents were too busy with
work to entertain me, and
my cousins lived too far away
for weekday visits. Yes, being
an only child was a lonely
endeavour. If it wasn’t for my
imagination and my ability to
outgrow my shyness, I would
not have been able to survive

adult years.

As I watch my parents age

: and my own responsibilities
: pile up, I wish I could turn

: to someone for support; a

: person who could relate to
social sense. Asa child, most : ™y family’s erratic behaviour
: and me; someone to talk to

: without having to explain a

: lengthy life story; someone

: who understands mom and

: dad’s expectations and their
: tendencies; someone to

: vent to without feeling the

: judgmental reverberations.

My parents rely on me for

: many things, and often times
: it seems unfair that all their

: hopes and dreams are now
my teenage years, let alone my : placed upon my shoulders.
: Asan only child, I’m all the

eggs in one basket—and they

: know it as well as I do. I know
: that having siblings comes

: with minor annoyances: you'll
: have to wake up early to fight
: for the bathroom, you might

: not get seconds for dinner,

: and you might need to move

: out earlier because your

: parents can no longer support :
: all of you financially. Those

: who are an only child face a

: psychological challenge. I call
: it “I never asked to be born”

: syndrome, where the child

: has to decide whether to do

: what their parents want them
: to do or to live their own life.

: That syndrome is evermore

: present in only children.

I’m well-aware that when

mom and dad are gone, I
: might be the last branch

: extending out in an obtuse

: direction from our family

: tree. That’s a scary thought,
: one that only those without
: siblings can understand. All
: the affection, all the care,

: all the attention we received
: our whole lives will vanish.

Memories of family dinners,

: vacations, and other snippets
: of normality growing up will
: be lost—should I allow it to

: be.

Now, I’m not saying

: that I want a brother ora

: sister. That is not a decision

: fora son to make, nor did I

: ever pressure my parents to

: conjure up a playmate for me.
: From my experience, it’sa flip :
: of the coin on whether you'll
: actually get along with your

War of the Words: Dismissing siblings

The Duggar Family: 19 kids and counting // By www.duggarfamily.com

: siblings. Regardless, I think
: a bond between siblings is

: sacred; they endure the test
: of time. I find myself

: attempting to replicate

: that relationship with my

: friends and my cousins, but
: since most of my friends

: and cousins have siblings

: and families of their own,

: the sensation is far from

: authentic.

A family has a

: gravitational force that pulls

: all the beings together. An

: only child suffers the fate of

: orbiting alone, like the moon
: around Earth. Insignificant to
: the universe, but vital to the

planet, we can only wonder

what life would be like if there
? was another.

 

 

Anne Marie Abraham
Contributor

hildren who come

from big families are
deprived of so much as
they’re growing up. They are
often forced to share rooms
with their dreaded siblings,
and any toys they might
own are communal. As if
that wasn’t enough, they are
forced to suffer through the
embarrassment of wearing
hand-me-downs that were
worn by sometimes two or
three siblings before them.

don’t have to worry about

: those troublesome issues and
: are often more privileged than :
: multi-child families.

Space has always been

: an issue with big families.

: An only child, on the other

: hand, always has somewhere
: they can go when they need

: to get away. They have a room
: of their own, free of that

: white dividing line of tape in
the middle. They also don’t

: have to worry about sharing

: closet space and trying to fit
: everything they own in one

: small corner.

When it comes to getting

People from one-child families : up in the morning, they don’t
: have to worry about being

: the last in line to use the

: bathroom, and their showers

can be longer than five

: minutes.

Ina house with multiple

: children, there is always a

: struggle for time: time to

: finish your homework, time

> to hang out with friends, and
: time shared with parents.

: Inasingle-child home, the

: child can get as much time

: from their parents as they

: need without competing
with siblings for attention.

: An only child is also able to

: Join more activities since

: their parents can devote more
: time to driving them around.
: Another perk about being in
: single-child families is that

: the child doesn’t have to worry :

: about taking turns using the
: computer or watching their
: favourite shows on TV.

Large families often

: struggle a little more with

: money. The children don’t get
: as many presents at Christmas, :
: and spending money has to
: be divided evenly amongst the :
: children. An only child doesn’t :
: have these worries. More
money canalsobespenton — :
: music lessons, sporting events, :
: and other extracurricular
: activities that interest the

child.

Coming from a big family

myself, I sometimes crave the
: experience of being an only

child. Would I be given the

: attention I need? Would I be
: free to join whatever activities
: I care to explore?

What I know for sure

is that I wouldn't have to
: worry about being trapped

at home babysitting my

: younger siblings when I could

be out with my friends. I
also wouldn't have to worry

about wearing the same
: shirt both my older sisters

wore before me—the same

shirt that went out of style

: five years previously. If I was
an only child, I’d have more
: opportunities to have and

: experience new things.