HUMOUR.

Laugh out loud hilarious? Contact the editor at humour@theotherpress.ca

 

Witnesses report that 99 red balloons went by

Hellum company fires
balloon manager
Livia

Turnbull

Humour Editor

 

humour@theotherpress.ca

 

strange sight beheld
any fine folks who were
enjoying some pre-winter
weather. In the grey skies,
witnesses reported seeing 99 red
balloons float by without any
context.

“It was really surreal,” says
local resident Mark Dangart.
“It looked like a TV commercial
or something. Condom
commercials have sure gotten
weirder these days.”

However, some residents
seem to be concerned. “I saw
them fly by and J thought that
Rob Ford was up to something
yet again. J bet he’s going to
pretend to be a float to get into
the Santa Claus parade,” said
Sally Thompson.

You(ii'3Comedy Classics

Rob Ford the Movie

107 Cea N tora E

While that seems like a
very amusing idea, Ford still
refuses to talk about his weight
problem. He did deny setting
the red balloons free, but he also
made a rather graphic analogy
about loving his wife every day
of the week. The Other Press
refuses to publish that quote out
of second-hand embarrassment
for Toronto’s citizens.

The blog entitled “Will
the Communists Win?” posted
something rather alarming:
“Panic, lads, it’s a red alert.
There’s something here from
somewhere else. I knew that
Russia would wait until now to
launch all its nuclear weapons
against the countries who
support gay rights. Were [sic]
doomed.”

Recently, a local helium
company claims that their ex-
balloon manager accidentally
left the skylight open after the
99 red balloons were made.
They promised never to install
skylights in their roofs again.

 

By Joel McCarthy, Graphics Manager

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUY6lDja-DE

   

I usually try to keep the YouTube Comedy Classics classic.
However, since all the footage in this video was shot
before 1997, I’ll make an exception. Sure, the Rob Ford
parodies are getting redundant by now, but this one is just
freaking brilliant. Since many people have marveled at the
resemblance Rob Ford has to Chris Farley, a brave editor
decided to pick apart Chris Farley movies to make a fake
biopic trailer for Rob Ford... and the results are amazing.

22

 

 

Photo courtesy of Callum Haywood/www.callumn93.deviantart.com

CONTINUED ON PG. 25

 

  

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