Ouch, could you ke little please? I’m still suffering some lingering effects from my OProm-night hangover. I didn’t realize it was possible to sustain a hangover for six days, but then again, until OProm night, I hadn’t realized it was pos- sible for me to drink twice my body weight in cheap BEvERages and scream myself hoarse over a rock band either—so I guess anything’s possible. Yes, | may have looked stupid, in fact I’m sure of it—I’ve seen the pictures, but the rock band I was screaming myself hoarse over was none other than the world-famous Rock’n. So who could blame me? What a show! There were fireworks (both figuratively and lit- erally), flags, smoke, and even bandannas—this was one quality rock show, let me tell you. In addition to the Class-A rock stylings of Rock’n, there was also a competition for prom King and Queen, which was obviously fixed. I mean, I don’t want to start hurling accusations until there has been a for- mal inquiry, but I think it’s more than a little suspect that Kali Thurber won the title of Prom Queen just minutes after appearing from backstage with Rock’n’s autographs prominently displayed across her chest. I’m Teen huT 3ut whether or not Kali slept her way to Prom Queen its irrelevant, she still looked lovely, and I congratulate her with all my heart. Really. Prom King honours went to Simon Hatton, who cut a dashing figure in a butter-yellow tuxedo shirt and matching leisure pants. I tried to get my revenge on Kali by seducing her King, but it turned out she didn’t even notice because she was off cavorting with anoth er group of Pub Night deviants at a local hotel. Damn, what a waste of a perfectly good revenge seduction. When all was said and done, however, we had a fab ulous time and we thank you so much for coming out and spending the night with us. A super-huge special thank you goes out to those fabulous folks in the Douglas Students’ Union. Thank God (or Santa, or John Stamos, or whatever higher power you answer to) for the DSU, they totally came through for us and went way above and beyond the call of duty to save our asses repeatedly throughout the planning and execution of this entire event. We love you, DSU! For those of you who didn’t make it to the OProm, and for those of you who did and wish to relive the magic, check out the centre of this issue fora recap and a special OProm photo retrospective. But don’t forget to take a gander at the rest of the paper as well. There’re loads of great articles to inform and entertain, and a Very Special Episode of “The Way Things Sometimes Are” that’s sure to tug at your heartstrings. Unless you have no heart, in which case you can go read some other paper you cold, heartless bastard. —Amanda Aikman OCuOber $= 20/2000 Business Class to Promote GM Car ..................ccccccscsccceccesssceccecessccssessecsessesesene: L, Pharmaceutical imbalance..................cccccsscccceceesscceececssseeceeeerssueecersrsuass See 4 News to Peruse, Amuse, and Confuse ............ flies ee eth 2 ot ae Be aN eee 5 TTS NE TS ii iss ts es iniwadennenvvasdeceivvaseeveccecstan igs ee ee 6 ee ee The Way Things Sometimes Are............0..c0c000, ee iuniadtavatcate ees eiene ahcdes ] Young People Get itOn.......... ssanogiee ead Fata vied cnicxda eg hte ota ae tabveioysad 8 Science Matters 22... eee aes a annals Mclean helenae eee a cked 8 WINE iidlicts hha cesabecsslaneit nets Pee MM As th evetineiertenee Bele aatagsc 9 arts & entertainment... dp iabeie pout PUNO yet ols akan Sead ceteess bases icine eae nevis 10 Po-Po Say Gonzo Journalism NO-NO ...........cceeceeeeeeeeeseeeeeeees aaiians Lact Il Team America: World Police, Movie RevieW ..............cccccccccceeeeeeeeese Me fe tees tele Ray LaMontagne: Trouble CD Review ...............cc0000- Doe eased or Ascaeease stake Argentosoma, Anime Review ....... Nica deenanns San a MRE ee ase Gas ik} Marketer's Night 2004: “The Allure of Cool” .............. Feestipia cosh inka eides ree What's On Around TOWN ...........e.cecesees Sr es eon Beare. Beda RN a Beat the Freshman fifteen............ (Oruee vaste Sie teas Sas Recetas apleet eens Lh Searching for Sxwoymelh ............... Sueteh Cee etiam ONG se LR ett From Deadline to Deadline ........ neice Ee ases sicenchiornas i etext Saseoll Old Scool Vs New School Men's Volleyball Alumni Game ....... end a eee Bk eae aS, pte 1 The Down Side of Sports ......... eka a Sone: {yale cba Pantene Caecouale lockout Corner ........ Caan ee je AL ee youl tee eee Si egactease Rese S B eee a ee DUHErPPess | 3