Biiaros

Bare-ly airborne

Nude airport scanners bring a new meaning to the term landing strip

By Angela Espinoza includes outlines of breasts and
genitalia. So if you’re anything like | (Can I see number 2
in private, please?

ith the winter season fast approaching, many of me, you may find these scanners
us are eager to head off for the holidays. It’s all posing quite a moral issue due to self-

well and good until we need to take that flight consciousness or just old-fashioned
back home. After all, what’s worse than the mind-numbing beliefs.
process of exiting customs? Well if it’s those pat-downs and Personally, I’m not a big fan of

strip-searches you dread, fear not! Rapiscan Systems have them. They’re built up to be some
made a revolutionary breakthrough in revealing concealed major technological enhancement, but

  

weapons... and I’m not talking about guns. they can’t even scan past 0.1 inches of

Several airports in the U.K., Australia and, most skin, so if someone were to conceal a
recently, the U.S. have installed the Rapiscan Secure 1000. — weapon or contraband internally, the
With the intention to make body searches more efficient, scanners wouldn’t be of any help. Up
the device is able to scan your entire body. The scan until now, we’ve had to live with the
produces a 3D image of the person, revealing both organic time-consuming process of taking off
and inorganic materials. The level of radiation produced piercings, jackets, shoes, etc. But I have
by these high-tech scanners has even been compared tothe —_ to question those who would rather risk
level we receive “every five minutes” from our everyday their safety as opposed to spending an
surroundings. These scanners are faster, thorough and are of extra 10 minutes standing in a line. The
little concern to our health. So what’s the down side? process of being patted-down doesn’t fast atten it?

Well, with the glowing blue rendered image of us exactly bother me either—if you’re a regular concertgoer, Ee ee ee ae Ne 2
; . : , ; 5 Sarees : All in all, this seems to be the direction that airports
in our birthday suits the device produces, you'd think it’s just a fact of life. ; : : :

: . = Tes : : will be heading for in the near future. So if Bob’s

they were trying to find body doubles for Cortana or Dr. But while some don’t mind taking things slow, many ; : :
Manhattan. This sounds extremely unlikely, however the have a lowered threshold for patience. The scanners may rae ere ene Puen ts all 4 can say. ts, tough

 

scans do show detailed virtual images of our bodies—that provide little added security, but if the process can be done ai do

 

Is it a bird? Is it a balloon? It’s both: Falcon the Balloon Boy!

   

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_ The No Go Low Flow
By Knowlton Thomas Nash stepped in with record-setting speed. You think
; peeps were quick to leech off Michael Jackson’s
} hat goes up must comes down. Or, in posthumous wallet? About as fast as major
this case, just never goes up. newspapers were able to publish brief online
Falcon Henne, a 6 year old now articles about Falcon, online store Zazzle.com
better known as “Balloon Boy,” supposedly flew had a “Go Falcon, Go!” t-shirt available for
into the sky over Colorado in an experimental immediate purchase. Something tells me they
aircraft that was never meant to be flown. After weren’t planning to offer him a commission.
reaching startling heights, it lost helium and By now, most people know what happened.
began to fall. For those who don’t, he was in his house the
On Thursday, Balloon Boy dominated entire time. Apparently, he was hiding in a box in
Twitter’s “Trending Topics” feature, holding as his attic because he feared his dad would be upset
many as five of the 10 topic spots, a virtually that he had lost the balloon.
r unparalleled level of minute-by-minute fame The whole situation was crazy. It became THE LOCK ON THE TOILET TO SAVE WATER ISN'T ONE.
I and —— Rumours of all types spread like explosively popular and nearly blew up the The issues of sustainability, climate change and energy conservation
E wildfire immediately. internet, but then fizzled away so quickly that :
: : affect us all. And at BC Hydro, we believe the agents of change for
There were also mountains of jokes, most anyone at work or who went out to run a couple ‘ th Fis co it you're bel 13.and 24
notably Kanye West on Taylor Swift knock-offs: of errands, wouldn’t even know Balloon Boy See an eee * you Ree
; “Yo, Falcon, I’ma let you finish, but Amelia if he landed on their head in an experimental and have ideas about energy sustainability, we want to hear them
Earhart had one of the best disappearances in aircraft. in an essay or video. You could win one of four $2,500 prizes!
flight of all time!” and “Yo, Falcon, I’ma let Whether it was for publicity or just some Tell your friends about it and they can vote for you online!
j you finish, but Pixar’s “UP” was one of the best mischief with big consequences, Falcon will
| balloon adventure of all time!” always be remembered by his nicknames and the
| Also tweeted by people who laugh in the jokes. “We should also check if Osama Bin Laden VISIT INVENTTHEFUTURE.CA
face of other’s deaths were jokes such as, “Falcon _ was hiding in that box with Falcon.” “When
I went on the aircraft up into heaven because police found him, he was reportedly playing
Michael Jackson ordered take-out.” He also has “Already Home’ by Jay-Z.” And the list goes on. — BCGhydro
an alternative nickname: “Fallout Boy.” Well, thanks Balloon Boy—you really took us for
As the jokes poured in, cash mongers a ride! noni tcee, Operon? powers mart

 

 

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