life & style // no. 16

theotherpress.ca

 

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Listed: Phrases that
should never come out
of your mouth, ever!

> Zipping the lip to avoid social disaster

Brittney MacDonald
Life and Style Editor

 

n this big bad world filled

with overly sensitive
crusaders, it’s important to
know when you can ask that
innocent question—and when
to just keep your mouth shut!
Pretty much anything you say
can and will be used against
you, so you might as well make
it a little more difficult for
people to misinterpret you by
refusing to utter statements that
are commonly associated with
passive aggressive insults. So,
here’s a list of 10 phrases it’s best
to avoid.

1. Wow, are you
pregnant? Are
you trying to call
your friend fat?

2. That’s definitely...
exotic. Too often people
use the term “exotic”
in place of “terrible”

3. Vmnotaracist, but...
Nope, you're a racist.

4. Ithought you knew!

This is what people say
after they’ve told you
something they know
they shouldn't have.
Have a nice day!

Have you ever worked
customer service? This
is what people who have
worked in retail or as
front of house staff at a
restaurant say when they
just want you to leave.
It'll be good for you. If
you are anywhere over
the age of 13, having
someone who is not
your parent suggest
they know what is best
for you just sounds
condescending.

You should be more
like me! No—at least
not until that whole
taboo on human cloning
thing washes over.

You look tired. Kind
of like asking them

if they're pregnant,

but instead of calling
them fat, you're just
saying they look like

10.

they're diseased.

Are you sure you
should be eating
that? Unless I ama
diabetic on the verge

of a glucose induced
coma with a piece of
cake poised at my lips—
never, ever should this
ever come out of your
mouth. No excuses!
You're being a little
Passive aggressive
right now. Pointing out
that someone is being
passive aggressive is
passive aggressive. It’s a
subtle way of accusing
them of attempting to
trick you into agreeing
with them. The best
course of action when
dealing with someone
being passive aggressive
is to completely ignore
their attempts and do
whatever the hell you
want anyway—just
pretend you're oblivious
to whatever signals
theyre giving off.

The ECOnomist:
Blow your load

> How masturbating can help save the whales

  

Brittney MacDonald
Life and Style Editor

 

Image via thinkstock

he Internet is a wondrous

invention capable of
putting just about any form of
entertainment at our fingertips.
Of course, this includes porn.
Now I know you probably
giggled there for a second, but
let’s be honest, even if you're
not super into movies of the
more “adult” persuasion, you're
probably at least aware that
there’s porn all over the Internet.

Internet pornography made
the paper trade of dirty magazines
all but extinct. The only survivors

were those that adapted to

have an online presence as well,
such as Playboy. Nowadays,
anything from amateur to high
production value pornography
is available online for free, so if I

were attempting to convince you

of a low-cost, environmentally-

friendly porn option I would

probably have very little luck.
Thankfully, that is not

what | am trying to do. I, my

little muffins, am simply here
to better guide you on your

journey to self-fulfillment—and

DSU eSports

 

Attention

Image via techinsider.io

maybe convince you to save a
couple whales in the process.

Recently, Pornhub
announced their newest Pornhub
Cares campaign, which seeks
to benefit everyone’s favourite
giant, aquatic mammals. The site
has promised to donate 1 cent
for every 2,000 videos viewed
to the Moclips Cetological
Society, a non-profit organization
dedicated to the preservation and
conservation of whales. No, that’s
not every 2,000 videos viewed per
person or account, that’s over the
entire site—pretty substantial
when you consider that Pornhub
gets about 6.6-billion views per
month on average (according to
their 2014 insight report). The
best part? Pornhub is completely
free to access. Think of it like
YouTube, except with more
sex and fewer beauty gurus.

So you might be wondering
what the catch is. There is a
small one—Pornhub’s pledge
to donate is for a limited time
only. Since February 13 is World
Whale Day, the campaign will
run until the end of the month.
So far, the site has accumulated
over 3.4-billion views, which
roughly translates into $17,000.

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