Page four

The Other Mess | :

 

 

by Mikey MacSkinflint

Lou Rawls latest album,
“Black & Blue’’, is just a
lot of wasted black wax;
just one more black man
crying the blues. Lou, in his
inevitablely sickening style,
complains time and time
again about this unfaithful
black woman or the good
old days gone by when they
(him and his. three bro-
thers) had a double bed all
to themselves. Now it
seems that they have to
share the bed with the
eldest brothers two wives.

If all his whimpering and
whinning doesn’t get to you
then your bound to get sick
when this nigger starts
telling all about his dreams
of going to ‘Kansas’ City’’.
| honestly hope that the city
fathers get wind of his plan

 

by Pat Worthless

Recently this reporter
travelled to the environs of
- Vancouver to conduct an
exclusive interview with
Paul McCartney, the fa-
mous musician and former
Beatle.

OTHER MESS; Well Mr.
McCartney, welcome to
Vancouver! Glad to have
-you_here;

MCCARTNEY: No.

O.M.: Okay McCartney
let’s get a few things
straight. I’m going to ask
you anything | like and you
have to give me an answer.
MCCARTNEY: Right
mate, do what you like.
There’s only two questions
that can bother me
now-a-days.

O.M.: When are the Beat-

again?

MCC.: That’s one.

O.M.: Tell me about Rin-
go.

MCC: That’s two.

O.M.: Say, do you think
“Wings’’ are as good as
the Bay City Rollers?
MCC: Well, | was wrong,
that’s three. Listen ‘ere
you bloody fool...!

O.M.: Where were you
born?

from page 1
Joseph Edwards, (deceased
1977).

—The scuba diving club
that was rained out.
—Douglas_ College. (It
doesn’t need a punchline)
—And the last of your
student fees was spent
trying to bail out the
photography club, arrested
for indecent exposure.

And kiddies if you think
those were dumb, your
should read the rest of this
rag.

All in all, the year has

 

les getting back together.

April 8, 1980

3 Ty

Goading again -

so they can prepare al
proper welcoming com-
mittee, just in case the
“‘wino’ manages to rob
enough liquor stores with-
out getting turned in by one
of his fellow coons.

Towards the end of the
album, however, things
start to look a bit better as
the black man starts mak-
ing promises regarding six
feet of cold, cold ground
just for him. 3

Any person knowing the
whereabouts of one or more
copies of ‘’Black and Blue’’
would be well advised to
get in touch with me at
‘The Other Mess”’ office in
order that | can instruct
said person on the proper
disposal of the NAACP’s
most recent piece of propa-
ganda.

McCartney talks

MCC: (surprised) In Liver-
pool.

O.M.: Where's that? Near
Surrey?

MCC: No it’s not bloody
well near Surrey! It’s near
London!
O.M.: London.
of that.

MCC: Right. That does it.
I’m leavin’.

O.M.: Why did you break.
up? The real truth now. ©
MCC: Well, the three of
us, Lennon, Harrison and
meself were playin’ in the
studio when Ringo comes
in with this gun...

I’ve heard

O.M.: Ringo was the
drummer right.

MCC: Right. Anyways,
Ringo has this gun and ’e
sayS...

O.M.: He was a_ short

fellow wasn’t he.

MCC: Yes ’e was a short
bloke! Now shut your
bloody gob! Ringo says
‘I’m sick and tired ...

O.M.: Where did he get
the name Ringo?
MCC: that does it!
bloody well goin’!
O.M.: No you’re not! You
haven’t answered my
questions!

(Sounds of guitar being
broken over reporter’s
head)

I’m

. . guts continued.

been great to us. We would
like to thank those of you
who are exceptionally
apathetic because it left
more beer for us at the pub
nights. And to all the
people we came in contact
with throughout the year,
yes, we meant it when we
said, ‘‘Last night? Sure |
respected you,’ | see
however that it is morning.

‘‘Beam us up Scotty.’’

—God we are the Canadian
Dream, we don’t think we
are too extreme. - (F

Zappa) g