Deceased music snob reincarnates
as local woman’s iPod

Obsessive spirit sets about ‘improving’ her music collection

By Liam Britten, Chief
Supernatural Audiophile Editor

hen Kate Bains, 27, got
on the bus last Monday
morning, something was

amiss.

“T went to play my Monday
morning bus riding music, and
the playlist wasn’t on my iPod. It
was so strange,” she told The Other
Press.

The mix, which consisted of
“fun” music to get her in a good
frame of mind for the work week
ahead, had disappeared.

“Tt was, like, all my favourite
things to make me not have a
bad mood,” she said. “There was
some Hall and Oates, some Doobie
Brothers, ‘I Believe in a Thing
Called Love’ by The Darkness, and
some other stuff. You know, just
some neat music to wake me up.”

It could have been attributed
to a computer virus, or maybe just
user error. But it wasn’t the first
time her iPod had made unusual
changes on its own accord.

“It deleted my entire
Fleetwood Mac discography last
week. What the heck, right?”

Local hindu archaka Pandit
Sidharth Karhadkar believes he
knows what is going on.

“Just as the body discards
garments when they become
worn out, the soul discards
the worn out body in the same
way. Eventually, it will don new
ones—such as an iPod,” he told
The Other Press. “T believe that a
pushy, condescending music snob
is trapped in the samsara—the cycle

of birth and death—due to his
ignorance of existence. And since
he was probably some douchey
hipster fuck to begin with, it serves
him right.”

When we told Bains about
what Karhadkar had to say, it
sounded plausible to her.

“Oh yeah! That totally makes
sense. Ever since this started
happening, my iPod and iTunes
have been filled with this weird
music that my ex-boyfriend used
to listen to, and he was such a jerk
about music,” she said.

The spirit has been reportedly
downloading artists such as The
Magnetic Fields, The Decembrists,
Architecture in Helsinki, Elvis
Costello, Das Racist, Jenny and
Johnny, and The Raveonettes.

To say the least, Bains is not a
fan of the spirit’s behaviour.

“T mean, I know I should like
these bands and whatever, but I
just don’t,” she said. “I just want
music that’s fun and catchy. Why
does my iPod have to make me
feel stupid for liking that sort of
music?”

Archaka Karhadkar believes
he knows what to do.

“The spirit inhabiting this
woman’s iPod must break the
cycle of life and death and achieve
freedom from worldly wants and
desires. This is the only way to
achieve true peace, called moksha,
and release oneself from the
perpetual pain of this world,” he
said. “Either that, or she can just
get rid of that iPod and upgrade to
an iPod Touch or an iPhone.”

 

 

 

Capricorn

(12/22-1/19)

Something seems different about the basketball star that you went to high
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Aquarius
(1/20-2/18)
Play Farmville while at work today! Your boss will appreciate it.

Pisces

(2/19-3/20)

While traveling, you will meet the person you have always dreamed of!
Too bad that person doesn’t exist.

Aries

(3/21-4/19)

Guess what? If you donate to my charity fund, you could win a million
dollars! Well, you could have, but my boss said that my charity fund
wasn’t ethical.

Taurus

(4/20-5/20)

Today, you will fall in love with a donkey. Sadly, I’m sure bestiality is
illegal in Canada.

Gemini

(5/21-6/21)

Want a new job? Then post your resumé online! What do I look like, a
classified ad?

Cancer

(6/22-7/22)

Psst... that attractive person who sits behind you is checking you out right
now.

Leo

(7/23-8/22)

Today you will look in the mirror and realize you've been turned into a
hawk. At least you can now fly!

Virgo

(8/23-9/22)

I will reveal your darkest secret today! You like to sleep with a box of
pillbugs.

Libra

(9/23-10/22)

AHA, hic Ive ‘written in Latin astro. Non utor online
interpres.

Scorpio
(10/23-11/21)
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Sagittarius

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Want to make money? Then send your credit card info to-THIS
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With files from Livia Turnbull
21