issue 2 // volume 43

humour // no. 23

 

Panicked student forgets
homework; produces a
stirring, award-nominated,
one-man improv show

Rebecca Peterson
Humour Editor

 

> Performance cited as ‘One of the best this season has offered so far’ ce

Rebecca Peterson
Humour Editor

 

L?* Friday, the students

of Economics 102: The
Economicking were treated

to a completely improvised,
incredibly moving one-man
show in place of a five-minute
oral presentation on “The Law
of Supply and Demand.”

“No one could look away
from what was happening in
front of us,” one witness said,
wiping tears from her eyes. “Even
the prof was blown away by it.”

The performer in question
was first-year student Lars
Sander, who is neither a theatre
major nor an economics major.
According to witnesses, his
show included a perfectly-
metred Shakespearean soliloquy
bemoaning his personal failures,
a juggling act using textbooks
and school supplies, and, finally,
a heartfelt ballad begging
forgiveness from an unknowable
entity of deified proportions.

When asked what inspired
the young man to perform such
an inspiring piece of theatre,
Sander replied: “Well, to be
honest, I completely forgot |
even had a presentation that
day. | would have winged it, but
I didn't do the readings either
and I know [redacted ]-all about
economics. The stress got to
me and I completely blacked
out. When I came out of it,
everyone was clapping, so I guess
it all worked out in the end.”

 

Word of Sander’s
performance reached the
Vancouver Fringe Festival, and
the show was quickly nominated
for both the Artistic Risk Award
(celebrating those who push the
boundaries of live theatre) and
the Site-Specific Award (given
to those who make creative use
of an unconventional venue for
their performance). Sadly, the
performance was beat out by

The time for satire articles
about pumpkin spice lattes,
school supplies shopping, and
other “start of school, start
of fall”-type subjects. In the
unending well of back-to-
school humour clichés that has
yet to run dry (or at the very
least, is aided by the fact that
not many readers are likely to
remember what was published
in the Humour section last
year), there is the hill.

If you've never been to
the New Westminster Douglas
College campus, you might not
know of its existence. If you're
a Douglas College athlete who
works out far more than your
average Other Press section
editor, and has a substantial
level of fitness, you might not
have even registered that it is,
in fact, a comically steep hill.
Just a ridiculously hard hill
to climb. It’s awful, but hey,
if you're an athlete you can
probably do sprints up the hill.
You probably crush hills like
that all the time. Heck, you can
probably climb a flight of stairs

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some of the bigger shows the
Fringe Festival had to offer this
year, but Sander did walk away
with a participation trophy
and a certificate that simply
read, “See you next year!”

“The most important thing
is that I got an extension on the
assignment out of it,” Sander
told the Other Press. “I’ve got till
Monday to get it finished- wait,
what day is it? Oh, [redacted].”

Obligatory complaint
article about the hill

> It’s a big hill alright

without losing your breath, too,
or getting that weird, rushing,
dizzy feeling in your head.
It must be nice to be fit.
Getting back to the
hill, though. If you're not a
superstar athlete, the hill is
daunting, at the very least. If
your paycheque is reliant on
you sitting at your laptop and
writing humorous articles
about big hills and not, say,
actively moving around and
building up muscle and
stamina, the hill ensures
that you'll show up to class
sweating, breathless, and with
makeup trailing down your face
because no amount of setting
spray can keep it in place after
you've climbed Mount Kill-
a-man-Douglas and you can’t
afford the more expensive long-
wear stuff you keep meaning
to buy because you're a poor
student and not the billionaire
popstar that 6-year-old you
thought you'd be at 22.
Where was I going with this?
Right. The hill. It’s a big
steep hill. Someone should
really do something about it.
But if nothing is
done, at the very least, we
can write another article
about it next year.

 
 

Image via thinkstoc

 

 

     

 

YOU SEE THAT
KODIAK?!

 

 

PERSONALLY I THINK
SEAL CLUBBING SHOULD

 

      

BE LEGAL!!

 

 

 

 

by Anthony Labonte