&
OW

 

   

After years in hiding, only returning to the public eye
briefly to release their Sesame Street-like video for
“Peppy Rock,” Canadian rap group BTK has finally
been charged with the murders of ten people in the
Kansas area.

In 1974, a family of four was found strangled to
death in their Wichita, Kansas home. Over the next
three years, three more women turned up dead—all
attributed to the self-professed Bind Torture Kill
murderer, who had by now developed a relationship
with the local media, specifically the Wichita Eagle-
Beacon. The BTK killer sent letters, poems, and even
a victim’s driver’s license to local papers and authori-
ties. BTK even reported one of his own murders.
The police released that tape to the public in 1979.

BTK was not heard from again until he murdered
twice more in 1985 and 1986. The last known mur-
der attributed to BTK was in 1991—-seven years
before BTK would burst onto the Canadian music
scene with “Peppy Rock.”

What? Oh, actually the BTK killer is some dude
named Dennis Rader from Wichita. So let’s clear this
up right now: Dennis “BTK” Rader, Bind Torture
Kill guy, lived some crazy double life as a church-
going family man while savagely killing ten people;
BTK, Birth Through Knowledge, had a hit single
“Peppy Rock” in 1998 that spoke of positive vibes
with scratch-heavy beats.

Police were led to Rader after obtaining a DNA
sample from his daughter without her knowledge.
While in custody last Wednesday, Rader was visited
by his church’s pastor, Reverend Michael Clark, who
told the Associated Press, “We are not going to cut
him off. I could tell that he was relieved. He is still a
part of the body of Christ—and that is something
some people will have a hard time hearing.”

Indeed. On the same day, Wichita city council
voted, unanimously, to fire Rader as the city’s compli-
ance supervisor. They cited “failing to show up for
work without calling in” as the reason for his dis-
missal. No word on whether he’ll receive benefits or
release a best-of LP.

6 | www.theotherpress.ca

News Wears Short Shorts

Brandon Ferguson, News Editor

Lebanese Want Syria Out

Under mounting international pres-
sure, but more due to massive
protests in Beirut’s Martyrs Square,
the pro-Syrian puppet regime gov-
ernment of Lebanon resigned on
the last day of February. The resig-
nation came two weeks after the
assassination of former Lebanese
Prime Minister, Rafik Hariri.

With 25,000 protesters assem-
bled outside the Parliament building,
Prime Minister Omar Karami and
his Cabinet resigned to the jubilation
of the crowd. Now the peaceful
mob is demanding the withdrawal of
15,000 Syrian troops, and the resig-
nation of pro-Syrian President,
Emile Lahoud. Don’t fret-—I’m not
sure how having a prime minister
and president works, either.

The protest has been compared
to the Ukrainian Orange Revolution,
which saw “fraudulent” election
results overturned in favour of
pro-Western President Viktor
Yushchenko. Pay attention, kids—
some day we may be called upon to

do more than simply vote in an
informal CTV-sponsored poll to
make our voices heard.

Internationally, leaders from
Russia to Germany, Saudi Arabia to
France, and of course, the US, have
all called on Syria to remove their
troops from Lebanese lands imme-
diately. Who can ever resist sticking
their noses in where they ain’t want-
ed?

 

 

In the region though, Saudi
Arabia has had closed-door talks
with Syrian President Bashar Assad,
in which Saudi Crown Prince
Abdullah has demanded the Syrian
withdrawal of troops. Former PM
and current dead guy Hariri was also
a Saudi citizen and close friend of
the Royal Family. My sources (inter-
net geeks) tell me that President
Assad asked the Saudis to wait until
March 23 to make this demand,
when an Arab nation meeting will
be held in Algeria. The thinking is
that if there were a united Arab
demand for Syria to withdraw, then
Syria could appear to bow to Arab
pressures only, rather than interna-
tional whim and meddling. Crown
Prince Abdullah said “no dice.”

Democracy seems to have infect-
ed Beirut, the place where 220
Marines were killed by a truck bomb
in 1983. I hate to say it, but given the
new government in Iraq, the peace-
ful protests in Lebanon, and the
reforms being made in Egypt,
maybe, just maybe, Bush was actual-
ly...nah, Pll pass.

 

 

 

Martin to Rice:
“Dh No You Didn't”

For those of you who still feel that
politics is an empire too drab for
your viewing pleasure, we present
you with a Valley Girl version of the

current missile-defense drama
unfolding between Canada and the
US.

Ohmygod, did you hear what
happened? It’s totally unbelievable,
fer sure. Canada’s Prime Minister
Paul Martin totally dissed the US. I

mean, WTF? They were, like, totally
best friends a few years ago, and
now, they like totally have a hate-on
for each other.

Okay, so first Paul’s all like,
“Bitch, I ain’t meeting up with you
after school to fight that weird, angry
Iraqi kid.’ And the US was all in
Paul’s face, saying stuff like “What
do we care about you? You're, like,
only our largest lunchtime trading
partner, what do we need you and
your weak-wrist momma for?” So
Paul was like, totally wounded and
stuff, and I even heard he cried or
something.

Anyways, that was like, last
semester, or some junk, and they
kinda repaired their relationship, but
only because Paul all invited US
President Dubya over to his house
for a little makeout session or some-
thing. He totally put the moves on
him and tried to get back in touch
with his Bush. And Bush was totally
for it! Fer sure.

Now that things were all cutesy
pie between Paul and Bush, everyone
was like “You two are totally getting

married or something.” They were
passing notes back and forth in inter-
national class, praising each other
whenever, gabbin’ on the phone and
stuff—it was totally gross. PDA with
the USA—sick! But wham! After
petting the Bush’s ego, Bush tried to
slip his missiles into Paul’s private
territory—no no, not there, way up
north. But Paul was like “Uh uh! I
don’t think so.’ What a tease. Like,
totally.

So now Bush’s new g/f, Condi
Rice, has totally snubbed Paul and is
refusing to come over to play. She
was supposed to come on some
diplomatic visit in April, but I guess
Bush was all worried that Paul would
put the moves on her too, so he kept
his Condi home. Which is totally
dumb. Have you seen her? It’d take
at least a case of beer to get me in
bed with that buck-toothed elf—and
even then, that’s only cuz I’ve got a
total thing for power. Shh, teacher’s
looking. Pll text you later with the
411. Peace.

March 9/2005