www.theotherpress.ca HUMOUR. Bone-chilling bulletins Ihe hauntingly accurate news By Ruth Cho, Weather & Spirit Séance Reader his week at Douglas College, students reported seeing giant mutant rats in the first floor bathrooms. One student said, “They were over a foot long, had glowing red eyes, and came out from the sewers.” There were no comments about the yellow puddles on the floor. Janitorial staff have assured us that there is no such thing as giant mutant rats, and that what the students probably just saw ghost rats. To solve the problem, they have introduced a ghost cat, and say that the problem should be eRATicated within the next week. Multiple students have also reported that the north elevator will occasionally hesitate, make an odd creak and clunk sound, take the rider to the wrong floor, and ooze green slime from the walls. They say that the elevator sometimes stops at the eighth floor, which does not exist. It stops, the doors stay closed for a minute, then the elevator goes down and takes the passengers to the correct floor. Security denies any such activity from the elevator, and says that anyone saying otherwise is a liar and imagining things. Earlier this week, there were reports of a strange