HUMOUR.

Laugh out loud hilarious? Contact the editor at humour@theotherpress.ca

 

CONTINUED ON PG. 25

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You(iTf}Comedy Classics

Halloween Punch

      

By Joel McCarthy, Graphics Manager

http:/ / www.youtube.com/ watch?v=Z6mXfFTOxbM

Halloween is the only appropriate time of year where you're allowed to scare
people—which is all fun and games, unless you're this high school prankster
who happened to pick the wrong victim. Although this video is short, it is

@ Ryan Reynolds ‘optimistic’ about sequel to Green Lantern

hard to resist watching it on repeat.

 

 

Grandfather wins bet that grandson would become college dropout

Parents hate to admit
their son Is a loser
Livia

Turnbull

Humour Editor

 

humour@theotherpress.ca

British Columbia senior
ets to cash in on some big
money today. Twenty-one years
ago, he bet six-million dollars
that his grandson would become
a college dropout.

“T never really liked my
grandson anyway,” says Ron
Amal, 73. “Even as a baby, he
wouldn’t do anything. He’d
just sit and stare at the ceiling
like the God damn stoner he is
today.”

The bet, which took place
between Amal and his best
friend (who wishes to remain
anonymous), began—like most
stupid bets—after a drunken
night at a bar.

“We were walking home
drunk one night and I said
to him, you know what, my
grandson’s going to be a loser.

I saw him when he was born
and it looked like my trashy
daughter-in-law had sex with an

22

alien. What, are we hiring aliens
from Mars to deliver milk?
Anyway, after we made some...
crude comments, we made the
bet.”

who drop out of college.
“We’ve always believed in
the concept of Indigo Children,”

says Brenda. “Aden just needs
a little more time to grow into
his own realm. He’ll become a
functioning member of society
when he’s ready.”

Children not being real, I believe
that my son is special,” says
Markus. “I mean, look at this
assignment from kindergarten!
Indigo Children always think

 
  
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
   
 

The six-million dollar “No matter what the outside the box. My son once
grandson, Aden Amal, released ‘doctors’ say about drew a picture of a frog when
a rather confusing statement: Indigo the assignment clearly said to

“Y’know, I don‘ give a fuck
what that old man say, mang,
he alway after my back just
like those teachers at school.
They used to say a grade is
what matter. But weed matter.
Dem teachers ain’t know

shit. They used to say,

mang, that I could

draw a picture of a cat.”

“Yep, my grandson is as
stupid as hell,” says Amal. “Plus
their house always smells like
reefer. Next thing you know,
he’ll be making up a meth lab
like on the TV show.”

When asked what he was
going to do with the six-million

work as a... dollars, Amal had one thing to
4 say: “I’m moving to Tahiti to get
ws away from my idiot children.”
McDonalds...
but I ain’t...
gym teacher.”
Markos
and Brenda Amal,

Aden’s parents, are
choosing to live in
denial of the fact
that their son is
one of many

loser potheads