Sports e¢ the other press © about Vancouver hockey fans I wonder, “Are we fickle and knowledgeable, or are we simply conditioned to love the Canucks as a disciple does the Messiah?” Let’s face it, our beloved Knuckleheads have, for many long, dark years, been a scrappy band of losers. Sure, there have been a couple of long playoff runs in 1982 and 1994. The Canucks won the Smythe Division title for the first time in 1974-75, and have sprinkled some decent seasons in with the bevy of absolute crap. After decades of NHL disparity, playing the redheaded stepchild to the Canadiens, Maple Leafs, Oilers, and Calgary Flames, what do Vancouver hockey fans think about today’s ver- sion of the Canucks? Are you satisfied with simply being “an elite team?” Should we, the fans, demand still more? Until I get some: sort of feedback from one of the six readers out there in the Douglas College student popula- tion, I'll have to serve up my own opinions as answers to my queries. We have every right to demand more. As a matter of fact, it’s our duty. The Canucks have sold out almost every home game this season. In order to take my son to a game, complete with parking, popcorn, and one large foam hand, I can easily drop three hundred bucks. Jerseys, along with every other object capable of sporting an Orca Bay logo, are flying off the shelves at record rates. The BC Lottery Commission is kicking in with a few extra million dol- lars, as is Canucks pay-per-view. Even the Canadian dol- lar is doing its part with a slow and steady climb toward actually being worth more than toilet paper. We now have Brendan Morrisons where once Mark Messiers loi- tered. All the old excuses have been exorcised. Brian Burke needs to pull the trigger on a deal for a bona fide ‘second-line center, and another quality defenseman. As I listened to some sports talk radio on a January Saturday morning thinking just these thoughts, serendip- ity struck. “In Canucks news this morning,” the deep voiced radio host said, “Jiri Slegr has been dealt to the Boston Bruins for a conditional draft pick.” My mind began to race and put together the details of a future I’ve been waiting for all my hockey life. Here is the series of events (I'd like to think) this trade will set in motion: Slegr is dealt to Boston, freeing up a roster spot and the remainder of his $800,000 salary. The Canucks go on a tear—winning sixteen straight games and solidifying their grip on first place overall in the Western Conference. Inspired by his teams’ play, Burke tells the media that he’s “ready to stand pat” yet again at the trade deadline. In a strange twist, Burke turns around 24 hours later and deals Brent Sopel anda first round pick in 2005 to the Buffalo Sabres for Mirolav Satan and Alexi Zhitnik. Ranger's GM Glen Sather is so mad about being shutout on the Satan-Zhitnik sweepstakes, he immedi- ately phones Burke and offers Greg De Vries for Zhitnik, agreeing to pick up 2 million dollars of De Vries’ contract next season. Dan Cloutier, while walking to his vehicle after a game-day skate, stares at a brick wall and has a vision wherein a young Ken Dryden bestows upon him a scroll containing the ever-elusive secrets of playoff goaltending. He then proceeds to catch fire and leads the Canucks on a rampage of total domination through the Western Conference playofts. The Stanley Cup finals feature the Condes versus an upstart Tampa Bay Lightning team. The Nucks manage to win the series on a Matt Cooke overtime winner in game five. Vancouver erupts into a citywide spontaneous samadhi as the parade rambles down Robson Street. Or maybe they traded Slegr to free up a spot and avoid losing Wade Brookbank on waivers yet again. This week saw the Canucks playing home games against Florida and Anaheim, sandwiched around a two game swing through Phoenix and San Jose. January 11 saw the Canucks continuing a dangerous trend of falling behind, staking the Florida Panthers to a 2-0 lead through the first two periods of play. The Canucks came out storming in the third, getting goals from Mattius Ohlund and Henrik Sedin to send the game to overtime. The action was fast and furious in the extra frame. Ed Joyonovski punched the Panthers’ Andreas Lilja in a wild flailing scrap. Ohlund ripped a wrist shot off the post with only twelve seconds left in the 2-2 draw. The Canucks flew next to the desert in Phoenix to face a red-hot Brian Boucher and his Coyotes teammates. Boucher, who began the year as the Coyotes third string goalie, posted five straight shutouts en route to setting a modern-day record, holding opponents scoreless for over 335 minutes. The Canucks were undaunted, and won 4-1 behind two goals and an assist for NHL scoring leader, Markus Naslund. The Canucks played another great road game, stretching their road unbeaten streak to a team record eight. Unfortunately, the road warrior streak came to an end in San Jose on January 15. I really thought the Canucks would be out to send a message after the heartbreaking 2-1 loss to San Jose in Vancouver 10 days prior. That was the game where Trevor Linden coughed up the puck in the final minute allowing Patrick Marleau to score the game winner. Instead, Vancouver sagged to a 2-0 deficit after the first 20 minutes and were never able to get the wheels back on the wagon. Alexander Korolyuk and Jonathan Cheechoo scored first period goals for the Sharks, with Alyn McCauley adding a third period marker. Markus Naslund bagged the Canucks lone tally, bringing him to 25 goals on the year. Henrik Sedin was unable to score on a crucial sequence that saw him get four cracks at a loose puck from point blank range. It’s called Viagra Henrik—get it up. The game ended 3-1 in the Sharks favor. This Vancouver week concluded with a Hockey Night In Canada match up between the Canucks and the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. I would be remiss not to make some sort of a joke about the Mighty Ducks moniker, but the corporate goons from Disney just paid me a visit. I think the Mighty Ducks is a very, very nice name. I don't think having a team named after a kid’s movie from tenyears ago makes the NHL a professional laughing stock at all. I think the duck can be a very intimidating animal. I promise to watch Finding Nemo until my eyes bleed. The Mighty Ducks came in to the contest winless in 2004, with a record of 0-5—3-0. The Canucks, for all their road success, haven't won a home game in regula- tion time since November 8. Something had to give. The game began on the right note, with Henrik Sedin scoring a jaw-dropping first period goal to give the Canucks a 1-0 lead. Sedin flew into the neutral zone, dodged a hip check at centre, and flew into the Ducks zone. He then slipped the biscuit between Niclas Havelid’s legs before depositing it in the basket behind a jockstrap-less J.S. Giguere. The tally matched his brother Daniel’s goal last week against the Kings for sheer excitement. What uni- verse is this where both Sedins score highlight reel goals in consecutive weeks? Nobody say mitzlplik. I mean it. To the dismay of another sellout GM Place crowd, the goal turned out to be the lone highlight of an otherwise forgettable effort. Dan Cloutier seemed to be fighting the puck all night, and allowed a Todd Simpson shot to bounce off his pad to level the game at one. The Ducks then pulled ahead on a nifty passing play that ended with Vaclav Prospal firing the puck past a diving Cloutier. The Canucks had a glorious chance to pull even near the end of the second period when Daniel Sedin was hauled down on a breakaway and was granted a penalty shot. Daniel made a shifty forehand deke, but was foiled by a quick kick from Giguere’s left pad. The remainder of the game consisted of a blanketing Ducks’ defense thwarting a lackluster Canucks squad. After these back-to-back losses, look for a bunch of seating room to open up as.fickle fans leap from the bandwagon. For those that remain onboard: look straight ahead and you'll see me driving that wagon. As always, I remain tied to the Canucks, for better or for worse. Go *Nucks. Classifieds ’ Fast Cash Ads 3 lines 3 times for $20 (30 words max). Open rate of $5 per manager at 604.525.3542. Pictures Classifieds pictures are $10 each printing for all of the above cate- gories. The picture size is 3.5cm x 2.5cm, black and white. refuse your ad. Announcements Automobiles Furnished room near New West Campus. 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Call premises; Shared kitchen, living and put “classified” in the subject line. | your ad for errors and please call or | 604.939.1914 room and bathroom; pet nego- email our offices to report any cor- a ] tiable; References required; avail- Staff and Student Organizations rections. To ensure the integrity of Housing able immediatly Receive 50 percent off our Fast our student newspaper, we reserve Please call Tabatha @ Cash Ad rate, the right to revise, reclassify, edit or ROOM FOR RENT 604.936.5687 or 604.807.9561 Coquitlam (close to Brunette and Schoolhouse). It’s one block from the 153/156 and up the street from 159/169. Asking $340/month rent(flat rate, all- inclusive). Close to stores, restau- rants, etc. Available Oct. 1. Call 604.529.1531 | Saw You Female student seeks same as roommate. Lovely room for rent in apt. bldg. Room is furn. or unfurn. Near SkyTrain/bus/shops. Friendly neighbourhood. Must like ani- mals. $380/month. 604.525.9881 ROOM FOR RENT one private, unfurnished room in a two bedroom basement suite in Pear ee The Other Press positions current- ly available: Distribution Manager Advertising Manager Send resume to: editor@otherpress.ca or drop off in room 1020 of the New West campus. http://www.otherpress.ca e Page 23