Does chocolate say you're sweet ON heP? 5, sisi sasenss

O, the way to school today, my husband and I were
talking about who to add to the list of Christmas cards. He
mentioned that he wanted to get a card for a sales woman
that he buys from for his department. He also said he was
going to add chocolate to the card and I gave him a sideways
look. When I thought about it, I told him that chocolate
would send the wrong message since he is a married man.
If it were chocolate with a thank you card, it would be
different, but since it is with a Christmas card, it would then
be a Christmas gift and you may just look sweet on her. I
laughed at him and said if that is what you would like to say
then go for it! That is only our humour; I do not condone
infidelities during the holiday season.

I asked around and some people had some interesting
things to say. One person said that Christmas and chocolate

big deal. But other people would only be getting cards, so
what impression does that leave for her and the other people
who received cards only?

Another very interesting point would be that of proper
etiquette for a buyer and seller within the industry. It would
be considered good business for a sales associate from a
supplier to bring a gift (bottle of wine perhaps); for a buyer,
a card would be more than sufficient.

I guess it would all depend on the people as well as the
relationship you have with them. To some, I may sound like
a crazy, jealous wife because he wants to buy her chocolate.
To others, my point may be valid and justified by the mere
fact that flowers, chocolate and little stuffed animals have
been commercialized as romantic gifts and although they are
also considered to go hand in hand with Christmas, she just
may think you are sweet on her!

Matthew Steinbach
opinions@theotherpress.ca

 

 

go hand in hand. Another asked, “Is everyone else getting
cards and chocolate?” Well, I agree if this person had seen
other people get cards and chocolate then it would not be a

 

 

Feminism: providing a foundation for easier sex

By Brendan Braun

[ a night I got laid. I had sex with a beautiful lady, and I would like to take the time to
thank my local feminists for making it all so easy. What happened last night was clearly a
repercussion of feminism at work. A lovely-looking lady picked me up; she coerced me (I
was willing of course) into having sex with her. She seduced me; she bought me a drink,
tossed me a line or two and then took me to her bed. Why did she do all this? She did this
because her local feminist cleverly tricked into doing so. My date gave me sex without first
making me break a sweat for it, because she was led by feministic ideals. She fucked me in
the name of equality.

What I am trying to say is that under the conceptions of feminism, apparently, if women
wish to be equal to men, women must first stoop down to man’s level and converse sexually
with him.

To gain equality in the social hierarchy of our society, women, through the imagination
of a feminist, must become just like us men. Women and all their beauty have been led to
believe that equality can only be achieved via two methods: the castration of men or the
adoption of a penis. Supposedly, as long as we own different sexual organs, we must bear
inequality in our society. So does this mean that feminism is suggesting that if women wish
to be treated like men they must aim to be like men? Can the land of equality really be a
“sausage fest?” Can equality come about as women adopt the benefits of a penis?

I don’t know. But what I do know is that feministic ideals can bring about some
complications. Women wishing to be equal to men may actually be risking being treated
like one of the guys; women may even risk eventually acting like just one of the guys. Is
this what feminism wants? If so, women are bound to go head on with nature, smashing all
its biological barriers. Women, under the influence of feminism, wish to take back the Y
chromosome they were deprived of.

I say let women become more like men. I am all for the feminist movement. I
recommend women be allowed to compete vigorously in the market society, just like any
other cock in a cockfight. Let women everywhere have the benefits of a penis. Let them grow
that metaphorical penis that feminists desperately wish they had. For if they gain the power
of the penis just as men have, women will be just as powerful— women will be just like men.
Women will want sex all the time just like men. A sort of universal “penile discourse” will be
born. By giving feminists that penis they supposedly need so bad, women will suffer as men
have; women will now endure the uncontrollable desire to constantly have and pursue sex as
men have for centuries.

If everyone were to own a penis, whether it be metaphorical or physically present,
feminism will have won and sex will no longer be such a task to endure for a man.

This means men will no longer have to jump through hoops for sex. Furthermore,
forget the complex money-straining dates when men were required to treat their dates as
lovely women, adoring them with affection and gifts. Nowadays, feminism has brought forth
change, meaning no more opening every car and restaurant door, sacrificing my coat to her
when it’s cold outside, or even dropping my coat over a puddle just so my date may cross
with dry feet. No more treating my date like a lady, even though she is one, in hopes she will
grant me sex. I am to treat my date as if she were to have a penis, as if she was just one of
the guys. Since my date will be just like one of the guys, she will clearly seek sex as much as
a guy, removing herself from the throne of the bedroom. As feminists encourage women to
stoop down to man’s level, the oppression and constant pursuit of sex will finally be over for
men. I will now be free to have sex whenever I feel like it, not whenever I can get it. I will,

6

as feminism triumphs, put out only on my terms.

For within the laws of insanity and the imagination of feminism, we, men and women
alike, are to act equally in a mode of “penile discourse,” together equally wanting sex. Thus
I can only thank our local feminists for permitting easy sex—sex like last night’s—and the
splitting of “the bill.”