Body-check from Uncle Sam: How the Americans made their place at the Olympic Games

Stephen Colbert headlines a variety of run-ins from our southern neighbours

By Jay Schreiber, Arts Editor

es, it’s true that when it

was all said and done, the

American Olympic team in
one way or another came out on top
with 37 medals in total at our home
grown 2010 winter games. Surprised?
Didn’t think so. The world in which
our generation has been brought up
in has learned to believe that the
Americans do well at just about
anything they throw their money at.

Why, fellow humans of the great
white north, should this bother any of
us? I guess sometimes, Canadians feel
suffocated by our southern “friends;”
after all, their culture preys on our
Canadian ways and along with it, our
general media. Quite frankly, I don’t
mind the Yanks pumping a little extra
cash into our programming during the
Olympics, in fact, it’s offered some
not-so-common experiences, like
being in the studio audience for the
taping of popular late night talk show
host Stephen Colbert.
Only a few short days after the

opening ceremonies, Stephen Colbert
set up camp around False Creek and
held a two-day taping of his Olympic
special. The series saw Colbert try
out for the American Olympic team
in an effort to get a free trip to the
2010 Winter Games. He was rejected
from the men’s Bobsleigh team

and the curling squad, only to be

local celebrity Michael Buble,
warmed up the audience with a
chorus of Stompin’ Tom’s “Hockey
Song” after refusing to sing Sinatra.
Following his interview with Colbert,
Buble and Stephan sang a rendition
of the “Star Spangled Banner” while
substituting the lyrics to “O Canada.”
I don’t know how, but it worked, the

“If | fuck up, don’t worry about it, I’ll just have to take a closer look
at the script, please just don’t tell anyone | don’t make this shit
up!” —Stephen Colbert

accepted as an honorary speed skating

advisor. Coming out to Vancouver
on a beautiful morning at 10:30 a.m.,
the animated crowd was exited for
Stephen’s visit, chanting his name, to
which he replied “Thank you, now,
legally, in French!”

“Tf I fuck up, don’t worry about
it, I'll just have to take a closer
look at the script, please just don’t
tell anyone I don’t make this shit
up!” Colbert told the crowd before
beginning his show. His first guest,

audience even sang along with them!
On his show, Colbert has stated
his views on Canadians before as
nothing more than “Maple-sucking,
hockey-loving Molson-drinking ice
holes,” but off screen he mentioned
how much he enjoys his time away
from the red white and blue. Colbert
even said in one of his interviews
how he thought Canada’s main
purpose was to “show American’s
how fucked up their own country
actually is.” As any Canadian would,

I feel the need to apologize for not
making that point clear enough.
Colbert’s segments away
from the desk included a venture
around the city’s pavilions and an
uncomfortable-to-watch interview
where Stephen took a swing at
Vancouver South MP Ujjal Dosanjh.
Of the live interviews, Colbert spoke
with an NBC representative who
was not very pleased considering
VANOC didn’t want to use the
popular American network as the
main broadcaster for this year’s
winter games. Heaven forbid the
host country uses CTV, a television
network that broadcasts on home soil!
While the American’s infiltrated
our media in other ways, such as
Ralph Lauren’s purchasing 75 per
cent of The Vancouver Sun’s front
page to use as ad space for Yankee
Olympic gear, these games ultimately
went to Canada. In the end, with
one final hockey game and a record
14 gold medals, we reminded every
American whose house they were in
and whose game they were playing.

 

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