Dean's the worst! > Ranking Rory’s boyfriends in anticipation of the ‘Gilmore Girls’ revival Sharon Miki Contributor WwW to raise the blood pressure of any Gilmore Girls fan in zero-to-five seconds? Tell them how much you hate one of Rory’s boyfriends. Nothing causes more derision amongst fans of the coming- of-age hit about a former teen mom raising a teen daughter than discussions of the “correctness” of certain relationships, and—with the show confirmed as returning with a limited run on Netflix after a 10-year hiatus—now there is finally an opportunity to definitively prove who our girl would be happiest with. Casting news showing the return of main Rory- boyfriend actors Matt Czuchry (Logan), Jared Padalecki (Dean), and Milo Ventimiglia (Jess) has reignited a favourite debate: who was Rory’s best boyfriend? Let us briefly explore, from worst to best, the past loves of Rory Gilmore. a | ; es 5. Dean—a.k.a. “The Absolute Worst” There is a common misconception that Rory’s first boyfriend, small-town- hot-guy Dean, was the love of Rory’s life. If you look closely, however, Dean was indeed tall and hunky...but also slightly doltish with a penchant for nostril-flaring, verging-on-stalkerish jealous rages. For a sensitive, intelligent, striving-to-be- worldly girl like Rory, Dean was always just going to hold her back and stare blankly at her while things went over his head. Oh, yeah—he also cheated on his wife (who, honestly, he was borderline abusive towards during his whole guilty-about- cheating phase) with Rory. The worst. 4. Marty—pouty much the worst The quintessential angry “nice guy,” Marty was Rory’s oft-flirty friend-zoned male companion during her first few years at Yale. She was never ina place to be with this dude, but he continued to follow her around and then stomped off in a huff when she didn’t want to be his girlfriend. He further proved his terribleness by being sketchy and lying about knowing her when they met again a few years later. He also destroyed Rory’s friendship with Lucy. Rory doesn’t make friends easily (could be the over-attachment to her mommy), so this is unforgiveable. 3. Tristan—bad at being a bad boy, but okay Tristan was Rory’s will-they-or-won't- they Logan-lite rich, blond classmate at Chilton. They kissed once at a party and he wouldn't let her forget it. Tristan was exciting and challenged young Rory (and he bought her tickets to PJ Harvey, bless his heart), but his attempts at bad boy antics were lame (he got sent to military school for breaking into his In rage or outrage > How celebrities continue to bait the public on social media friend’s house with his friends for like no reason) and he suffered a hurried exit when Chad Michael Murray was cast on One Tree Hill. Tristan had the bad boy sparks that Rory needed to counterbalance her own timid nature, but lacked the depth to be her number one. 2. Logan—some chemistry, but not Jess Even if we forget the ill-fated final season of Gilmore Girls—which had a different team of showrunners and writers and thus totally destroyed a number of characters, including Logan—Logan was always just a pretty good choice for Rory. He had the cash to elevate Rory socially, and, to be fair, was pretty quick with the quips; but, in the end, he never really reached Rory’s level. Perhaps it was being raised as a golden boy, or the fact that he brainwashed himself on some peyote-led trip in the Life and Death Brigade (one can assume). 1. Jess—the best Jess had a hard time in his teens, but even when he was dealing with his own issues, he always brought Rory out of her bubble in the best way. In a world where everyone put little Rory on a pedestal, constantly telling her how pretty and smart an special she was, Jess instead asked her what she thought and showed her something new (though he clearly thought she was pretty and smart, natch). Jess and Rory had palatable, undeniable chemistry, but they also had a deep natural rapport—a connection that she only had with her mother, otherwise— that would take them into their elder years, smiling wryly. While Jess left the show in similar Tristan fashion (he was cast in a never-aired Jess spinoff), I can only hope that the new seasons of Gilmore Girls will bring Rory to her rightful lifelong partner—and he’s Jess. Elliot Chan Opinions Editor hen you are a celebrity trying to promote yourself, no news is not good news. It’s better to receive hate from some than go completely unnoticed. That has been the philosophy of many celebrities who have taken to Twitter to make a big splash before sinking back into the depths of their wealth and sorrow. But the barrage of outrage has become too much for British comedian Stephen Fry, who rage- quit Twitter after the criticism he received for a joke he made at the BAFTA Awards show. Or was it just another publicity ploy? While hosting, Fry zinged costume design winner Jenny Beavan for dressing like “a bag lady.” The Internet rose to Beavan’s defence, calling out Fry’s “offensive” comment on Twitter. Comedians defending their jokes on Twitter is not anything new, what’s surprising is that they continue to respond to those faceless voices even though they know they cannot fight the trolls. I don’t believe Fry was harmed by the comments, I believe Fry was doing what celebrities do best, which is making the PR move that will garner them the most press. Quitting Twitter was the apt solution. It silenced the critics and made his fans appreciate him more. It also got him trending, which is rare for the BAFTA host. Ricky Gervais, another fellow British comedian, is also no stranger to online outrage. As the host of the Golden Globes this year, Gervais made it his sole purpose to poke Hollywood celebrities and the Internet bear that defends them. Why? He openly admitted it. The more people bitching and moaning about how offensive he was on the show, the more publicity he gets. The more you get people talking about you, the higher you rise up on the Internet’s relevancy meter. Celebrities have a powerful voice. When they speak, people listen, even when what they are saying is complete garbage. How has Donald Trump gone as far as he has on the presidential campaign? Shock factor. You cannot ignore it or pretend it wasn't said because everyone will be talking about it days later. Simple yet ridiculous ideas that go against the grain are bound to evoke more attention than playing by the rules, nodding to what everyone else is saying, and conforming with the crowd. Lastly, there is Kanye West. Does he have a new album coming out? Of course he does. But he didn’t market his new work as the latest Kanye West album, he marketed himself as a brand—a brand that’s so good it doesn’t give a fuck what you think. He sided with Bill Cosby, called out Taylor Swift, asked Mark Zuckerberg for money, and compared himself to Michael Jordan and Stephen Curry. Think about all the demographics he hit with those comments. Think of all the people he offended and honoured. He’s tapped into the Internet’s pathos and has manipulated it to do his album’s marketing for him. So the next time you hear about celebrities saying something outrageous on a public platform, ask yourself: Do they want me to retaliate, or repeat what they said like some sort of megaphone?