Heroin sucks because
there’s no position more
submissive than being a slave
to a dope boy. It sucks because,
while I may have entirely
loathed myself, people in my
life—friends and family—
didn’t, and they don’t want to
see their loved one turn into a
Hastings/Main dwelling fiend.
It sucks because self-medication
seems like the only viable
option for a diseased brain,
and it’s impossible to leave
that mindset. It sucks because
trust and love leave your life
ieliRsl ma pL Tema pl moe) (Aa POR Cun
to see you get better. It sucks
not because it hurts me, but

because it hurts my loved ones.
The most noticeable part
of heroin withdrawal happened
to me in the one place no red-
blooded man in his early-20s
wants anything to happen
to—my dick. Heroin numbs
one’s body, so for all my flaws
as a junkie, I could just bang
for hours. After getting clean?
Not so much; this may have
a little bit to do with the fact
ia oreUamnO\ Melo Tuucsal mest uluu Clete mT
significantly sexier than the
junkie thief, but when I started
getting clean, even the slightest
stimulation would set me off.
If 1 so much as shook myself
twice after peeing, boom went
Ca pCoMehsoC-Uu ev IK ooM BOT ISM A ceto-T nl
extremely embarrassing—but
fortunately not permanent—

consequence of my use.
What I learned about

being hooked on

heroin is this: you

are never too

: forever.

pain so strong

: and scars so *
: deep that :

: not even the

Peiaweyereecis

: far gone. Junkies do horrible

: shit to get their fix, but a lot of

: them aren't horrible people.

: Most addicts see heroin as a

Fe Kee corel eb lecLucmm steko
: issues they're running from,

: they’re much scarier to them

: than the needle. I learned

: that I’ve got enough mental

: ailments that I’m basically a

: walking, talking pharmacy, and
: instead of taking heroin for said :

i : , : addiction. Contact the following
: ailments, a medical professional :

PL ; : for immediate help. Your
: is helping me cope. Between the :
: aforementioned professional
Pewee Ma CMejpyrUccwrev-Vielcor-velas

: program I’m involved in, I

: like to think I’ve got my bases

: covered.

But the hardest part about

: all of this is accepting the fact
: that this may very well bea

: problem for me for the rest of
: my life. Withdrawals don't end
Paid loo a av-ucs(ol cat acscou Meloynmml ane) ig
: how long it’s going to take to
: get my brain used to the

: idea that, no, we can’t go

: out and blow half our

: paycheque on false

: feelings. Knowing

: me, it'll probably be

There exists

: painkillers can bring relief,

Fim Ltt aw ote mo Lm bCuCE-TL

: very few things stronger than

: the human spirit. The number
: of days I’m clean isn’t what

: matters—it’s making sure that
: number stays above zero. I

: wonder how strong my spirit is.

You are not alone in your

: struggle to get free of drug

: information is kept confidential
: and services are provided for

: free in your language.

: The Alcohol & Drug

: Information and Referral Service
: Lower Mainland: 604-660-9382,
: BC: 1-800-663-1441