othereditor@yahoo.ca

 

 

Colin Miley: Managing Editor

Here’s my favourite spam email from last week,
followed by my reply.

 

 

    

 

     
   

 

 

 

i? | “Esther Donahue"

 

sting@edsincorporated.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To | eee : 4 Subject; RE: Viagra - Proven step to start something all over agains |
Subject: SUBJECT: Viagra - Proven step to start something all over again. i = : oe ehh C—O“
* semaerteteenaen a i at st saa i
% Ga GB Paregraph~ Font style~ fontszey | BJ UE = S|

Se Se See rate | Se | ee EEexe|-aloAale
EE ee - Blo Al @

 

 

Dear Ester,
Every man must have a sex! MUST!!!
http://weeds.redtask.info/?reckonedxtvuyreconnectingzvttelevising You're right that every man must have a sex!!! MUST!!! That’s why they are a man.
Even if that man identified as a woman (transgendered), or if that man loved men
(gay), or even if that man felt no need for sex at all (asexual), they still, by definition,

must have a sex. MUST!!!

Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got.

 

 

Science is but the statement of truth found out.
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. If they're feeling really ambitious, they can have two (hermaphrodite).
lf voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.

fo | also would like to address the types of email spam you send me, Ester. |’ve got to
Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.

say, in the lecherous pit-o-snakes that is the world of spam, | actually like your type
best. Your formula of, “make a brief and crazy statement, follow-up with a hotlink for
the interested, then list a bunch of one-line tidbits of cliché and colloquial wisdom
for the thinking-man’s Viagra fan out there,” works for me. “One man’s religion is
another man’s belly laugh?” | love it.

 

 

 

 

One man’s religion is another man's belly laugh.
A man can’t be too careful in the choice of his enemies

 

 

Don’t get me wrong, this is not an invitation to continue treating my inbox like a
Thanksgiving turkey, fit to be crammed with your unsolicited stuffing. | still hate you
Ester, and want to dismember you without anesthetic.

HATE!!!

But thanks for keeping it brief and mildly interesting.

Best,
Colin Miley, Managing Editor, the Other Press

 

 

 

:
i
i
|

 

 

 

 

 

Last Call

Amanda Aikman, OP Columnist

 

Dear Amanda,

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost two years
and we have been living together for the last 11 months.
He is a really great guy, I love him, and from what I can
tell, he loves me, too. Sounds pretty good, huh?

The problem is, I’ve met another guy at school this
semester. This New Guy is really great, too. He’s charis-
matic and funny and he’s made it very clear that he’s
into me. I never thought of myself as the “cheating
kind,” and I would never want to hurt my
boyfriend...but when I’m around New Guy the possi-
bility of cheating doesn’t seem like such a big deal.

I know it sounds terrible, but I think it would be
possible that New Guy and I could have a no-strings
attached situation that my boyfriend would never have
to know about. So, my question is: can my boyfriend be
hurt by what he doesn’t know? Is it ever possible to
have your cake and eat it, too?

Yours truly,
Rock and a Hard Place

Dear Rock,

Your question is whether or not your boyfriend
can be hurt by what he doesn’t know? Perhaps, in
your situation, you should be asking something
mote appropriate. Like, say, how much should you
be charging New Guy? Because, you see, you are a
whore. And it is important for whores to make sure
they are charging competitive whoring rates. After
all, a few under-charging whores can drastically
weaken the whore market for the rest of the
whores.

But no, that is not what you are asking. You
want to have your beefcake and eat it, too. You
think you can have the loving, dependable relation-
ship with your boyfriend while still indulging in a
little illicit action on the side with New Guy. You
want me to tell you that that is cool. That you
should go for it with New Guy, have fun, be

 

naughty, and then go home to your boyfriend who
will probably have dinner waiting for you. Sorry,
babe.

Maybe it’s not the most exciting option, but I’m
afraid it is really the only one. Sure you might get
away with it, and maybe you can justify your
actions and disconnect your conscience long
enough to convince yourself that what your
boyfriend doesn’t know won’t hurt him—but what
if the tables were turned? How would you feel
knowing that your boyfriend was debating whether
or not to be unfaithful to you? That he was think-
ing about someone else, that he was spending time
with someone else—because it’s not just about get-
ting caught with your pants down, when you cheat
on someone, the betrayal runs much deeper than
that.

So my advice to you is, if you want to get it on
with New Guy—go ahead. But break up with your
boyfriend first. Or, if you’re cool with being a
whore, make sure to clearly post your rates for New
Guy, and for God’s sake, get a valid credit card if
you’re going to let him run a tab. That’s a mistake
you don’t wanna make twice.

Sincerely,
Amanda Aikman
lastcall_op@yahoo.ca