Oversharing 1s not caring

> The world is not your counsellor’s office

Rebecca Peterson
Assistant Editor

 

e’ve all known at least one person
like this: Five minutes into meeting

them, and suddenly youre standing there
awkwardly as they start monologuing
about their tragic backstory. If you're
lucky, they were just bullied as a child. If
you're unlucky, they might have a far more
disturbing story to tell. Unfortunately,
some of us have also been that person. If
this sounds like something you have done
or might do, you absolutely need to stop.

I'm a firm believer in consent and
respect in all things—yes, rules of consent
can and should apply beyond sex and
romance. Words, despite what we say
about sticks and stones, can have an
impact on par with physical trespasses.
Talking out traumatic moments with your
friends and family—if they’ve consented
and are in a mentally healthy place to
listen—can be a good way to through
your troubles. Spilling your trauma all
over a stranger is, to me, a trespass;
you do not have a steady, reliable, and
mutual relationship with them, you
likely have not asked for their consent

to make them your emotional sponge,
and, most importantly, you don’t know
what they're going through themselves.
Diving into the full details of something
traumatic you're working through might
be cathartic to you, but could be utterly
triggering for the person you've just
dumped your shit on if they’ve gone
through something similar. At best, you're
making people wildly uncomfortable; at
worst, youre actively harming them.

I have had more people than I can
count do this to me, people who I barely
knew trying to make their problems my
problems. Like a lot of empathetic people
(“empathetic” here meaning “able to ‘feel’
to an extent what others are feeling,” not
inherently “nice and kind and good,”
something I think people who describe
themselves and others as empathetic
confuse on occasion), I would find it
hard to set those boundaries for my own
mental health. This bit me in the ass more
times than not, as these people would
start using me as their personal therapist;
a one-time talk would become a nightly
crisis chat, talking people down from
ledges and self-destructive behaviours and
wearing the full impact of guilt when I
failed to keep them safe from themselves.

Driving me crazy

> Get on board with public transit

Katie Czenczek
Staff Writer

 

No I know that most people are
under the impression that driving
is better than transiting, but I’m here
to set the record straight. I’ve done
my fair share of commuting via public
transit and via a clunk bucket that
might loosely be referred to as a “car”.
I’ve finally decided that I hate driving
more than transiting, and here’s why.
First off, ditching your car can
help you lose weight. A study published
in The Lancet in 2016 found that on
average, people who commuted using
public transit weighed about five to
seven pounds less than drivers . Think
about it, getting daily exercise is hard
to do when you have work and school,
and the little bit of walking to your

local bus stop can be enough to shed
off a couple of pounds. While you drive,
you sit in your car and get from point
A to point B with little movement.
When you transit, you get that body
moving. Maybe the infamous Douglas
Grind isn’t sounding so bad after all.
Another pro to taking transit is
the obvious: It’s ridiculously cheaper.
On average in BC, the cost to insure
a vehicle is $1,316—note that is the
average cost. For any drivers who haven't
been on the road for five-plus years, it
will be closer to $3000 for insurance
alone. That doesn’t include paying for
parking, gas, and any service charges
when your car starts acting up—which
it will, because it’s a car. Now compare
this with approximately $120 for three
semesters. That’s about how much a
Douglas student pays for the U-Pass

Gods among humans

> The overstated importance of entertainers

Jason GokHo Ing
Columnist

 

Noes can deny the importance

of celebrities within our everyday
lives. These individuals are present
throughout the movies we consume,
sports we commemorate, and music we
listen to. With such an enormous impact
on shaping the minds of each generation,
the idea of meeting these individuals
face-to-face would seem like a dream
come true to many young adults.

It is this excitement to meet
performers like Jennifer Lawrence or
Justin Timberlake that cause many
fans to cross the line by entering their
property without being invitation,

non-consensual touching, and even
stealing from their garbage.

One victim of this intrusive
behaviour is the platinum-selling music
sensation Britney Spears. The “Princess
of Pop” stated that she once encountered
a fan who would send her unsolicited
love letters, emails, and pictures of
himself daily. The enamoured man
took it one step further by appearing
outside the singer’s home, as well as
her parents’. The situation became so
dire that a restraining order had to be
placed on this intrusive individual. In
retaliation, the disgruntled man tried
to sue Britney after her bodyguards
confronted him outside her home.

He stated that he experienced
“extreme emotional stress” after one

Using people like that
destroys them. These days, I don’t
mind providing a shoulder for
people who I consider to be my
friends, because I know they'd
do the same for me. Passing
acquaintances, however, I’m more
likely to give a little pat on the
back and a list of 24-hour crisis
chat-lines. It has taken me
a long-ass time to come
to terms with the fact
that I’m nota licensed
therapist and that it’s
not my job to fix people.

I find it hard not to actively resent
anyone who tries it with me now.

We all have our moments of
oversharing. | think it’s honestly a stage
of trauma recovery; going from keeping
utterly silent about what you went
through, to recounting the story over and
over again to anyone unfortunate enough
to be within earshot. I’ve definitely done it
(I was a very sad drunk in my late teens),
and I’m not proud of it. I’m not proud
of the selfishness that went into it. ’m
not proud of knowing that I might have
hurt people with my carelessness. Part of
growing up is learning from your mistakes

with unlimited access to SkyTrain
and bus routes. TransLink is an awful
company, but I'd take it over ICBC any
day just for how much money I save.

Whatever the annoying habit
that one driver has—slamming on
their breaks, cutting people off, traffic
weavers, slow drivers in the fast lane,
need I say more?—I can promise you that
most trips to work and school are going
to involve at least one thing that pisses
you off. If you transit, you can relax. |
have time to read, listen to music, catch
up on some homework, and people-
watch. What’s better than having time
in our days to just take a breath and not
think for once? If you stop and smell
the roses while driving, you'll either get
into an accident or have a horn blast
brutally snap you back into reality.

A huge plus to public transit is

of bodyguards pointed a gun at him to
force the man off Spears’ property.
Another instance that highlights the
preposterous fan hysteria is the trend
of auctioning off used celebrity items
on the internet. Proving his legendary
status as a teen heartthrob, Justin Bieber
managed to sell a lock of his hair for
more than $40,000 within a few short
days. Additionally, movie star Scarlett
Johansson was able to find a fan willing
to pay $5,300 for a tissue she blew her
nose into. Although the proceeds from
these sales were donated to charities, the
fact that someone was willing to pay for
these entertainers’ garbage demonstrates
the desperation of some fans.
While there is nothing wrong
with enjoying content created by

   
  
 
 
  

Illustration by Cara Seccafien

and, hopefully,

passing those lessons along so others
can avoid doing the dumb shit you did.

So, here’s my lesson for you: For
all the times you need to dump your
emotions somewhere, find a crisis chat-
line. There are plenty of apps and websites
out there that support peer counselling—
at least there you know that the person
on the other end of the line is absolutely
consenting to taking on some of your
emotional baggage. It’s far healthier,
and far less harmful, than turning
good people into terrible therapists.

that it is significantly better for the
environment by not burning gas that
goes directly into our atmosphere. For
any of you who vehemently oppose the
Kinder-Morgan pipeline, a good way to
avoid feeding the oil industry is to not
drive a car. Most people drive single-
passenger vehicles, which adds up in
greenhouse gases in metropolitan areas.
To avoid this and put your greenest foot
forward, transiting is a great option.
The final thing I will leave you with
is this: For the most part, the Lower
Mainland is an accessible area for transit.
If you want to drive to a nearby hike
or go on a road trip, all you have to do
is rent a car—it’l] still be cheaper than
paying for insurance for an entire year.

talented people, the length to which
some fans are willing to go to become
closer to their idols conveys the
hysteria we have for these performers.
Many are determined to bond with
these celebrities in any way they can,
whether that involves purchasing
their memorabilia or straight up
stalking them. It appears that some
see these celebrities as godlike figures,
instead of just as people trying to
make a living for themselves.

Despite the media’s glorification
of these prominent individuals, one
must remember that these performers
are human too. They all have their own
insecurities and flaws, and they value
privacy just as much as you and I do.