It’s that time again, folks... Here’s a look at what’s happened in the NHL in the past two weeks. After just twelve games this season, Wayne Gretzky quit the Kings to become, as he puts it, “the best durned gardener this state has ever seen...” After a slow start, the Great One has managed to cultivate quite the little green patch. Reports from LA are that Janet had been whining that Wayne never brought her that rose garden he always promised. The Kings are 3-15, good for last place in the Western Conference. Gerry “‘Geriatrix” Cheevers is still performing miracles since his comeback in the Boston Bruins’ net. Still undefeated, Cheevers cites “good clean livin’ and three kiwi fruit a day” as his secret to success. After 18 games, the 53-year old Cheevers has given up just six goals. Vancouver forward Sergio Momesso has been trucked down to the minors after a huge blunder in a 6-5 overtime loss to San Jose. After intercepting an Igor Larionov pass, Momesso rumbled in all alone, and used a dazzling move to put the puck where grandma keeps the short- bread. The problem? He scored on teammate Kirk MacLean, who only minutes before had stopped a Pat Falloon penalty shot. Big Serge de- clined comment on the new job posting, but maintains that he was “sure MacLean had been traded weeks ago...” Florida Panther John Vanbiesbrouck, apparently upset over Cheevers stealing all the goaltender-related press so far this season (Vanbiesbruouck boasts a 12-4 record, normally a huge story for a goalie on a two-year club), has applied to changed his name to “Great Save Vanny.” Crying and sniffling, Vanbiesbruock chokes, “for God’s sake, somebody pay attention to me...” League commissioner Gary Bettman admitted this week that he still has no idea what that icing rule is all about, how the heck the refs decide who gets what penalty, and wants someone to explain why he needs to let those malts sit for a few minutes before he tries to eat them. Brandishing one of those wooden malt mini-spoons, Bettman threat- ened to hold his breath until his demands were met. Presently, he is a dark maroon colour, and quite frankly, no one cares. The Montreal Canadiens have released every player on their roster, and admitted that they have, in reality, never truly existed. Former Hab shyster and present Dallas Star GM/coach Bob Gainey was relieved to finally be able to speak the truth. “It was all done with mirrors. I mean come on, do you think anyone real could have done what that Dryden guy did?” ~ Lastly, an update on the Gino Odjjick situation: still in the midst of a 30-game suspension for spearing a referee, Odjick has announced his retirement from the game of football. “I just don’t feel the Lions need me any more,” Odjick stated to reporters. When-asked what colour the sky was in his world, Odjick replied, “roast beef with Yorkshire pud- ding, preferably in July.” Keep watching this space for NHL updates, and once a month, win- ners winners winners of prizes prizes prizes! Black Dog Billiard Cafe 983 Carnarvon Street New Westminster B.C. V3M 1G2 (604) 524-2499 ...In addition to: 15% OFF with Student I.D. 25% OFF with Student Membership A great place for coffee, pool, and a whole lot more... Open early ‘til late, 7 days a week gn eS SSSI aL Gl get Ant question. he early favorite is the % November 16, 1994 ne Unleaded album. Or perhaps The Dead Milk- Marc Destrubé - baroque violin Martha Brickman - harpsichord October 27 A Noon At New West Concert by Trent Ernst Regular readers of the Noon at New West reviews may notice a decided emphasis placed on performer’s mannerisms and stage presence, almost to the exclusion of the music. I find if fascinating how great musicians present great music, and all the performers so far at the Noon concerts have been great musicians. Take Marc Destrubé as an example. Here is a man who works is in demand on both sides of the Atlantic as a baroque and as a modern violinist -two wildly different forms of music, both in style and presentation. His list of credits is laudable, if not downright impressive. During his Thursday afternoon performance here at the College Marc performed three Sonata’s for Violin and Harpsichord by J.S. Bach, along with another stellar performer, Martha Brickman. Watching Marc play, I was fascinated by the nuances of his performance - they way he would hit the high notes with his eyebrows, or the way that he would emphasize a passionate run by rocking forward onto his toes. It is these quirks of the performer that make live classical music so fascinating, even above the exceptional quality of the music. Having said that, I will now contradict myself. I love the sound of the Harpsichord, and I would have not minded at all if Martha Brickman had been giving a solo recital. I cannot comment on her stage presence (the violinist stood directly in front of her for the entire concert), but the music! Oh, the music. During the harpsichord solo in Bach’s Sonata in G Major, BMV 1019, I closed my eyes and was transported. A great performance by a pair of great performers. men's greatest hits coms ilation, Chaos Rules... What?You expect me to review this? Some of these people give me marks, you know. Needless to say it was an enjoyable evening, and all the performers were great. Now, don't you wish you'd been there? icheal Strutt and Indrasani Mursalim Photos by Trent Ernst DOUGLAS COLLEGE FACULTY CONCERT October 28 by Trent Ernst Tony Sheppard blowing his own horn Kathryn Cernauskas - Flute November 11 A Noon at New West Review by Trent Ernst Flautist Kathryn Cernauskas, who teaches here at the college, was the featured performer at the November 11 Noon at New West concert. From January to April 1994, Kathryn was on sabbatical, taking the year to do research into modern Cana- dian Flute music. This concert was her ‘report’ back to the school on what she accomplished during her time off. Beginning with the lyrical, tonal Sonata for Solo Flute, by Barbara Pentland, the concert quickly moved into more avante guarde realms of composi- tion. Down Endless Lanes Where Cher- ries Flower, written for Kathryn by com- poser John Fodi, echoes with phrasings reminiscent of Scottish Bagpipes (!). For the droning bagpipe sound, Kathryn had the audience very quietly hum an ‘A’, breaking the unspoken barrier between audience and performer - a popular con- cept in modern composition. From the jazzy sounds of Stephen Chapman’ Slink, to the microtonal ex- periment Ausune, Kathryn handled the stylistic changes with ease. Paul Steenhausen and Leo Pederson, two Douglas College Alumni-cum-composers were in the audience for Kathryn’s performance. Kathryn Chernauskas, Flautist extrodinaire. Blue Sky Mourning, by Leo Pederso was premiered at the show. Afterward: Pederson said he was “‘pleased’ with th pleased with the performance. As well he should be. Kathry Cernauskas is a talented musician, an understands the subtleties of moder music. Her devotion to the cause ¢ lesser known local talent is inspirz tional. Quoth Steenhausen “All pei formers should play new music.”