Culture the other press Who says there,aren’t perks for toiling thanklessly at the Other Press? Okay, maybe I started that rumour, but I stand corrected. I was given the opportuni- ty along with the lovely Culture editor, Kerry Evans, to review the seventh-year- running Vancouver production of Jony and Tinas Wedding. And, oh my God, you guys, did we have fun! Jealous? Yeah, you really should be. If you don’t know about Tony and Tinas wedding, 1 gotta ask what rock have you been living under?—probably the one right next to mine, because I didn’t know about it either. So, Pll fill you in. Tony and Tina’s Wedding, for lack of a better description, is an interactive play that is the second longest running show in New York’s Off Broadway history. The concept is brilliant; the audience become the guests at Tony Nunzio’s and Tina Vitale’s wedding, from the church service to the cutting of the cake. The actors never step out of character as they say their vows, greet you in the receiv- ing line and even dine with you at the reception. Seven years ago, founding members of Hoarse Theatre Tanya Dixon-Warren and Michael Fera risked everything to bring the production to Vancouver. During its time here, it has enjoyed near-cult status while employing more than 300 actors and technicians. Okay, so now you know what it is—back to me. Kerry and I were running late for the wedding, which was held at St. Andrew's Church downtown on Burrard. All gussied up, we tottered on our high heels as we gracefully ran for the church. We arrived just as the bridesmaids were mak- ing their way down the aisle, so we were tucked away into a corner until the bride made her way to the end. Once the bridal procession was at the altar we were told to grab seats at the back. Because of our late arrival, I think many of the audience suspected we were actors, because you never really know who's who. The ceremony was a riot, complete with bridesmaids and a very pregnant “maid” of honour wearing the most gawd-awful red taffeta dresses and white rubber platform sandals. The highlight of the ceremony was when Father Mike and Sister Albert Maria sang Joan Osbourne’s “One of Us.” After the bride and groom were wed, we followed them out of the church where on the church steps we were met by the receiving line. This was really bizarre, especially when I looked over my shoulder to see Kerry hugging the bride. I chose to walk down the groomsmen side, which was fun because most of them were very attractive guys—some really Italian, others playing Italians — all charming. I couldn’t really say the same for the bride and her maidens who were flawless in their roles as crass broads, but judging by the hugging, Kerry seemed to be getting along with them famously. Once everyone hit the bottom of the steps, Tony’s best man Barry Wheeler announced that the reception would be held next door at the Century Plaza hotel, and that we should all start heading over. We were led to our table where we were seated with six other guests and Tina’s brother, Joey Vitale. The table was set for a traditional sit-down meal, complete with antipasti and wine (ginger ale) for toasting. The meal is included, but it’s a cash bar. It was really bizarre sitting at this table with a group of strangers, but even more so when one of the actors sits across from you. The actors NEVER step out of character, and they chat with you about the wedding and make the usual small talk you would make with someone you know only through the bride or the groom. We were nervous and a little uncomfortable, but the other guests we were seated with were charming and talkative, so we soon relaxed. We also hit the bar with a vengeance. The reception followed the traditional format, kind of, with a delightful hus- October 16, 2002 Famiglia, Faith and Food: Tony and Tina’s Wedding | J.ALL Assistant Culture Editor Ongoing: Thurday—Saturday 6:15 p.m.—9:45p.m. Ceremony: St. Andrew’s Wesley United Church (Nelson & Burrard) | Reception: Century Plaza Hotel (next door to church) Tickets available at Hoarse Raven Theatre (604-258-4079) or | Ticketmaster. band and wife lounge act that oozed cheese as they warmed up the crowd, and a swarthy emcee who introduced the happy couple and wedding party. The wed- ding photographer snapped shots of guests and the flamboyant videographer went around recording best wishes to the newlyweds. Much like most big wed- dings I've attended, things soon become insane, with events unfolding all around us. Tina and her mother were fighting, Tina’s ex-boyfriend crashed the party, telegrams were read and the first dance—all at once. On one end of the room the priest and the nun were getting hammered and on the other side Tina’s brother Joey was performing a dance routine with the bridal party to Madonna’s ‘Vogue’. Tony's brother Johnny Nunzio (whom I recognized as T. Paul Ste. Marie, host and producer of Vancouver's spoken word institution Thundering Word Heard) kept asking Kerry and I to dance. Swallowing our embarrassment and mouthfuls of alcohol, we joined him for a few numbers. We were having a blast, quickly forgetting we were at a play. After watching the wasted nun race tearfully from the room following a make-out session with groomsman Dominic Fabrizzi (who was so hot, he would tempt anyone), I excused myself to use the bathroom. Crumpled in the corner of the washroom was the weeping nun, whom I had to step past to get to the toilet. I was really weirded out, but I carried on with my business resisting the urge to comfort her. I mean what do you say to a sobbing woman playing a nun who just got caught necking with an Italian stud? So much more happened that I won’ go into for fear of giving too much away. Let me just say that some of the highlights included the bride doing rails of coke at our table, Father Mike telling dirty jokes and Kerry and I dancing the Macarena. As things wound down and the wedding party exited under the human tunnel all the guests made by facing one another and clasping our raised hands, we could scarcely tell reality from acting anymore. I was actually sad to see the actors leave. I felt like I had gotten to know them over the past few hours. Picking up our coats and saying goodbye to the people we sat with, we filed out of the reception room only to be greeted by a table laden with framed pho- tos of every guest. The “wedding photographer” was no shill, she was really tak- ing photos, so guests had the option of purchasing a framed keepsake ($15 each or $20 for two). Of course there was no way in hell Kerry and I were going to allow a photo of the two of us to sit out in the open for everyone to see, so we shelled over our $20 and ran from the room. It wasn’t the most flattering photo, but it was a great souvenir of a wonderful evening. As we headed out for more drinking, we gossiped excitedly about the wedding, filling each other in on things we may have missed. We felt as though we had really been at a big Italian wedding and we were talking about the cast like we knew them: “I can’t believe Tina danced with Michael!” “Oh, I know! How about Dominic? Wasn't he dreamy? I can’t believe he proposed to that tramp, Donna.” The only criticism we had was that it ended. I cannot recommend this production enough; the only problem is that the tickets are pretty devastating on a student’s wallet—$65 on Thursdays and Fridays and jumping to $70 for a Saturday show. The ticket includes a four- course meal, so really for dinner and a night of theatre, it’s a good deal. Tony and Tina's Wedding would be the ultimate first-date destination, even better if your date hasn't heard of the play. If you don’t let on, your partner would never fig- ure out they were at a play until it was over. I will definitely scrape together the money, or sucker someone into taking me again. page 13 © <>