opinions // no. 20 theotherpress.ca

i

 

Ghosting people 1s okay sometimes

> Don't feel bad for cutting certain people out of your life

—s

Jessica Berget
Opinions Editor

 

wholeheartedly support the act of

ghosting. It is a popular phenomenon
nowadays that applies to all kinds of
relationships, not just dating, but what
exactly does it mean? Unfortunately,
its not as scary as it sounds (depending
on if you are the ghoster or ghostee). To
ghost someone means to stop texting,
messaging, and generally cutting off
all communication with someone for
whatever reason, permanently. Many
people are vehemently against this,
calling it rude, lazy, and disrespectful
to the other person, but I would argue
that ghosting is a perfectly acceptable
way to cut people out of your life.

I’m not saying it’s okay to ghost
just anyone. Cutting out people who
you have a relationship or a history
with and not giving an explanation is a
crappy thing to do. Even I am guilty of
this, I have ghosted a friend before and
I still regret not providing any closure.

Virginity? Who needs it

What I’m saying is that it is okay to do
this to certain people under certain
circumstances. People who are toxic,
negative, and/or abusive, people who

you have only had one date with or
hooked up with once or twice, and people
you've messaged but have never actually
met; these are the kind of situations in
which ghosting is completely okay.

I can’t understand how some people
would consider ghosting rude—it’s not
that bad. If you’ve gone on one date with
someone you didn’t really like, it’s not
your job to explain to them why you don't
want to see them again, especially if you
haven't committed to a relationship with
them. I mean, isn’t one of the perks of
being single not having to endure the
awkward break-ups and commitment?
Those who consider ghosting in
situations like this to be disrespectful
need a reality check. If you like someone
you have only hung out with once or twice
and they stop replying to your texts, they
probably don't feel the same way about
you. Move on. Additionally, if people keep

> A tired and outdated concept

Katie Czenczek
Staff writer

 

S% is weird. Or, at least, the way
people go about understanding sex
is weird. It’s the thing that everyone
talks about, yet simultaneously fears
at the same time. In other words,

sex is like a terrible car crash; we're
horrified, but can’t seem to look

away. | think this is especially the
case when it comes to defining what
sex is and who’s allowed to do it.

The concept of virginity acts as a
means for regulating who has had sex
and who hasn't. If, before marriage, you
end up shagging your co-worker at a
Christmas party, depending on what
circle youre in, you'll either appear to
be a hero or immoral. There really is
no in between, and I believe that is a
huge problem. Before getting started,
T understand and respect that many
people value their virginity and that
it is spiritually meaningful for them.
That’s great, and you do you, but I
personally do not think it exists, nor
that it should be imposed on others.

If virginity was a real
concept, I would have lost
mine to a scalpel and a
nice gynecologist at 14.
Born with an imperforate
hymen, I wouldn't have
been able to get a
tampon up
there,
let alone
a finger,
ping-pong
ball, dildo,
carrot,
penis,
tentacle—
whatever
else people
have tried
to shove
up their
bits. It
honestly
would
have
worked
better
than any

  
  
  

ghosting you, maybe it’s because of you,
and not that they're rude or lazy. Calling
ghosting rude is especially puzzling
when you haven't even met the person
yet. One of the best things about online
dating is messaging them beforehand
so you can decide if going on a date is
worth your time and effort. If all you have
done is message them back and forth and
they decide to stop messaging you, it’s
because they're not interested, and they
don’t owe you an explanation as to why.
Sometimes, ghosting someone is
the best and only option you have. When
someone you know is being hurtful and
toxic towards you—whether they mean
to be or not—straight up telling them you
don’t want to see them anymore could
land you in hot water, and sometimes
makes the situation even worse. When
you have tried every other approach and
there’s nothing else you can do about
this harmful relationship, ghosting
them is sometimes the best option.
Ghosting is also acceptable
when the person you are talking to is

 

Photo by Lauren Kelly

disrespecting you or your boundaries.
Admittedly, I love ghosting people who
treat me disrespectfully or overstep their
boundaries; I get a sick rise out of it. For
instance, some while ago I was texting
someone I was about to go on a date with
when they asked me “Is your pussy tight?”
Try as I might, there was no way I could
successfully teach them how scientifically
inaccurate and objectifying their question
was, and they did not seem willing to
learn. At times like these, ghosting is

the only answer, and I can guarantee

the half-assed apologies they sent me
after were much more entertaining than
the date ever could ever have been.

To make a long story short; if you
have toxic and abusive people in your life,
ghost them. Went on one date and didn't
like them? Ghost them. Hooked up with
someone once and now they won't stop
texting you? You know what to do. This
isn't a horrible thing to do to someone.
Life is short, and you can’t waste what
precious time you have explaining to
people why you don’t like them.

Sex is like a terrible car crash; we're
horrified, but can't seem to look away.”

 

chastity belt on the market due
to what was essentially a flexible
brick wall safeguarding my
purity. Either way, I am highly
skeptical that
I will

\
\

7

Illustration by Cara Seccafien

eternally damned for a 10-minute
procedure that allowed myself to be
able to swim while on my period like I
wasn't before—but hey, that’s just me.

Though I think that it is bizarre
that abstinence is still taught in some
private schools, I think what is even
more troubling is our societal obsession
with losing our V-Cards. When you get
to a certain age and you haven't lost
your virginity, you begin to get those

looks. Made up of a mix of both pity
and judgement, people will be shocked
when your own sexual journey hasn't
lined up with theirs. I’m here to set
the record straight: You can't lose your
virginity because it was never there
to begin with and it has a different
meaning for everyone. Whether or not
you've knocked boots with someone
does not determine your worth.

Bottom line—which also happens
to be the bottom line of this article—is
that it shouldn’t matter whether you've
had sex or not. I don’t think it makes
you a bad person if you have sex, nor
does it make you a loser if you haven't.