Best of New West 2005

Photos by Angela Blattmann and Kat Code

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Thank you to everyone for sending in
your enlightening and humorous, not to
mention disturbing, submissions for this
year’s Best of New West. After much
deliberation, the responses have been nar-
rowed down to represent the top three in
each category. Please enjoy, and if you dis-
agree with our choices...tough luck. I
guess you should have filled in a ballot of
your own, eh cowboy?

|. Best place to get a free lunch (or at
least a cheap one):

Royal City Restaurant on Columbia.

Hon’s Wun-Tun house. Bring me back
some chicken balls.

The cream dispenser in the New West
cafeteria.

G. Best place to get something pierced
and/or tattooed:

The Flying Dutchman...or the
penis...depending on how you interpret
the question.

New West SkyTrain Station.

There’s a guy at Scruffy’s who does won-
ders with an ice cube and a rusty nail.

3. Best place to get your dance on:

Other Press Pub Nights, DSU building.
Chicago’s—nobody’s there, nobody cares.

Concourse. Tracksuit. Boombox.

L. Best place to convene with nature:

Does that translate to peeing in public?
No huh...okay the Dog Park. It gets pret-
ty hairy in there...ah, nevermind.

Moody Park.

Boardwalk in the Quay.

0. Best place to convene with a loved
one in nature (and not get caught):

Between 9 and 11 am, northeast of the
duck pond; bring blankets.

Patio on the third floor of Douglas near
the Science Department.

Whoa...hey man, my convening habits are
private, as are my super-secret, fabulous
outdoor convening locations.

  

6. Best place to drink to excess and
do things you will (hopefully) live to
regret:

DSU Pub Night. And I'll probably put
photos of you and me doing those regret-
ful things into the paper a week later.

Brooklyn’s. At least I think it was
Brooklyn’s. That’s what the police report
said, anyway.

When you're feeling that desperate, The
Standard.

7. Best place to sing like you ve never
sung before:

Karaoke at DSU Pub Night, Karaoke at
Scruffy’s, Karaoke everywhere! Or outside
London Drugs while holding a hat.
Wherever Joel happens to be.

New West SkyTrain Station.

8. Best place to spend your last ten
student-loan dollars:

Movie theatre on Sixth Street. BYO
snacks.

Royal Towers Casino.

Buddy who sells dime bags in the con-
course.

9. Best place to hook up with a hottie at
4 Douglas College pub night:

On the dance floor. Why not? It seems
like everybody else does.

The Dance floor is not the best place.
‘Trust me.

There’re never any hotties at pubnights.

10. Best place to get hopped up on caf-
feine before that painful Monday
morning language lab:

I think T’d prefer something a little
stronger...who’s up for Scruffy’s? That lab
wasn’t very important anyway.

Blenz on Sixth. If you sleep with the
barista, he’ll make your Americano a dou-
ble for free. Or you could just pay him the
extra 60 cents, whatever.

Anywhere but Starbucks.

August 10/2005