The Razzies honour the
dishonourable

 

By Mark Fisher
Buisness Manager

hile the Academ,
Awards honour the
best in filmmaking, we

can’t forget about the 29" annual
Razzie Awards, which are given
out to the worst films of the year.
Both award shows have a lot to
choose from

Most of these horrible
movies I’ve tried to block out
irom my memory. Many of them
I managed to avoid, but just
seeing the previews of them alone
was bad enough. A few I had high
hopes for, especially Speed Racer,
which I thought was going to be
awesome.

So which of these deserves

one person who will say anything
good about The Love Guru, so
you can consider that a favourite
as well.

But in my personal opinion,
no film is more deserving of
being remembered in history as
the worst film of this year than the
horrible remake of The Day the
Earth Stood Still. That movie was

a classic sci-

this year, so ie Rid es : yy fi drama from
tri block out 5

ised a euies ‘Most of these horrible movies I’ve tried to block out from my memory. tho Uhck and

not to take white era,

a look at the and I would

worst as well as the best.

There were more awful
movies this year than can fit onto
your DVD shelf. Many films
made this year are legendarily
bad. Just look at the not-so-
shortlist for Worst Picture of
the year: Speed Racer, Disaster
Movie, Meet the Spartans, The
Day the Earth Stood Still, High
School Musical 3, The Hottie &
The Nottie, In the Name of the
King: A Dungeon Siege Tale,
The Love Guru, Postal, Rambo,
The Happening, Meet Dave and
Witless Protection.

to go down in history as the worst
film of the year, joining such
illustrious flops as Catwoman,
Battlefield Earth, Howard the
Duck, and Star Trek V?

The Hottie & The Nottie has
the inside track in this race, as
there’s no way an awards show
made to poke fun at the idiocy of
Hollywood will miss a chance to
bash Paris Hilton. High School
Musical 3 also has a good chance
of taking home the ignoble statue,
because everyone who votes for
the Razzies hates the big craze
of those films. And I can’t find

probably rank it in my top 20
favourite movies ever. And then
they basically pissed all over it by
turning it into a ludicrously bad
disaster movie in order to make a
few more million. The sad thing
is that the original The Day the
Earth Stood Still is a movie that is
well worth remaking, and if it had
been done well with a good actors
and a good director, it could have
been nominated for an Oscar this
year, instead of a Razzie.

Now let us never speak of
any of these films again.

Bi ¥

 

 

 

Flowers Cafe

By David Carson

astings and Main—the belly of the beast—not
H:: first place most people turn to when they

are stricken by a sudden bout of hunger. Seeing
so much addiction and suffering does little to stimulate
the appetite, but for the brave among us—or those
among us who love an amazing deal—the restaurants
in and around Hastings and Main offer some of the best
bets in town.

Flowers Café, located on the north side of Hastings
about two blocks east of Main, is a perfect example
of one of these hidden gems. Don’t let the restaurant’s
crudely constructed wooden sidewalk sign fool you, but
do watch for it carefully because it is quite small and
the black paint used to showcase the restaurant’s name
is not easily read against the sign’s dark brown wood.

Upon entering the restaurant, do not be turned
away by the featureless wall that greets you in the
main foyer; follow it until you find a booth that appeals
to you. Sit down and relax. Quell that nasty, guttural
feeling that seems like a natural warning against certain
danger and scold yourself for being so quick to judge.
Although there probably isn’t anything to be concerned
about, it is recommended that you do not stare for too
long at any of the restaurants other patrons, no matter
how stare-worthy they may be.

Smile warmly when your server, barely cracking
five feet tall even when standing straight, presents you
with water in a multi-coloured plastic cup of dubious
cleanliness. Forgo the menu; get a bacon cheeseburger
(a selection of sandwiches, Chinese Fare, and possibly
breakfast are offered on the menu and on the wall). It
seems the bacon cheeseburger is the only thing that
anyone ever eats in Flowers Café anyways, and the
women in the kitchen know how to cook it right.

For $5, you get two homemade patties made fresh
and slapped together with love by experienced hands,

a hearty portion of bacon, a slice of processed cheese,
and a heaping serving of thick-cut fries. The meal is by
no means high-brow, but the meat is fresh; each patty is
made immediately after being ordered and the bacon is
crisp, and the price is right.

 

fH

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