| Love Midgets CF Miley, Opinions Editor The words and opinions of CF Miley are not necessarily rep- resentative of all Other Press staff and contributors. That’s not to say, of course, that the rest of us don’t like little people too, it’s just that we're not as hot for hate mail and public lynching cas he is, — Editor I freaking love midgets. There, I said it. Dwarfs, little people, mini-me’s, midgets, I love them all. I know ?’m totally generalizing, but so great is the depth of my fascination with midgets that I feel compelled to come clean about it. Being able to gawk at midgets on TV—from the conifort of my own living room, no less—has pro- vided me with the opportunity to hone my appreciation for extremely small, yet fully grown, peo- ple. When I saw Man V. Machine, or Man V. Beast, or whatever the hell that show was where they strapped all those midgets to a 747 and had them pull it down a runway while racing an elephant doing the same, I almost died and went to happy land. I cheered, jumped from the couch, and gazed in awe at the pack of anatomical wonders pulling the plane. I only wish I could have been there to trip the elephant so that the midgets could have won the race. The anguish on lit- tle faces—situated in the middle of oddly large heads—was almost more than I could stand. I missed the midget on the camel on The Amazing Race, and that’s difficult for me to accept. I just can’t keep up , with all the reality shows. I have, however, found that The Maury Povich Show can be a solid source for my ten essential units of daily midget viewing. Midgets have wicked style, built right into their whole “look.” From their “Snausage-like” fingers to theit widespread eyes, I am enamoured with all things midget. I love the way so many midgets look like they have huge lats when they walk. It’s like all the glory of seeing a really wicked body builder, with both a reced- ing hairline and a mullet, but in a tiny size and without the huge muscles and ego. Also, the Charlie Chaplin waddle totally rules. Midgets are the reason bowlegs were invented. I would be bereft of any semblance of quality opining if I didn’t mention midget porn. There are at least four million pornos floating around out there starring midgets. I can’t say that my particular brand of midget love includes watching them stuff various vegetables into an aging, buck-toothed person of indiscriminent sex, but somebody’s does. I typed “midget porn” into Google and was rewarded with no less than 79 pages of sites. At ten listings per page, that’s 790 web pages devoted to diminutive porn. I guess a whole lot of people are into pony tailed three- footers wearing nothing but sunglasses and a bitter beer face. Go figure. I realize that admitting my affinity for midgets may be somehow viewed as being akin to racism, or size- ism, or weird-ism, or something, but I am willing to accept the persecution. I just can’t stand to lie about it anymore. My name is Colin, and I love midgets. Science Matters Policing an increasingly chaotic world David Suzuki David Suzuki Foundation If the crisis in Sudan is an indication of the international community’s current capacity to respond to humanitarian disasters, we have much to learn if we are to adequately deal with the increasing number of refugees and political strife expected in the developing world in the future. Last week, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan said that the Sudanese govern- ment has not done nearly enough to protect its citizens against armed militias that continue to maraud Darfur, a region of western Sudan the size of | In fact, it has long been suspected that the government continues to say ort the brutal Janjaweed Arab militia against black Africans in the region. So far, more than 1.2 million refugees have fled Darfur to escape the vio- lence, which has claimed some 50,000 lives since civil war broke out less than two years ago. It’s been called the worst case of African ethnic cleansing since the Rwandan genocide in 1994 that saw ‘hundreds of thousands of people killed over just a few months. That comparison has been brought up many times, especially in regard to the international community’s tepid reaction to the Sudan crisis. The West was criti- cized for not taking stronger action to prevent the Rwandan tragedy. And once again, industrialized countries are offering little more than words to condemn the actions of the militias in Sudan, which include a massive campaign of rape, torture, and the destruction of entire villages. - There can be little doubt that what is required in this case is swift action by the international community to prevent further bloodshed. The Sudanese gov- ernment is clearly unable or unwilling to protect black citizens living in Darfur. stresses over-explo more frequer Their world is our world. ae targets children for indogttination and uses them to carry out of their home countries, is hardly a recipe | rity. Yet the situation is expected to worsen that is Ghat i is forecast for this already-troubled We live in a world that is ever more interconne increase over the next 50 years will be in the the greatest resource stress and political insta interconnected world, that kind of instability cannot In 2001, Canada sponsored at a feport called The Responsibility to Protect, which outlines the circumstances in which the UN, or a coalition of other states alf of whole are children—have fled , their homes in the north and east to get away from rebels with the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA). The LRA world. It’s also where found. But in today’s e tained ot walled off. The UN’s Security Council surely must act, with sanctions or troops, to protect them. Yet it remains unclear what action will be taken. over five years of civil war in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. lly, that war ended last year, but even now the country teeters on the edge look at it in regards to Sudan. It certainly won’t solve - the region’s problems, d Sudan is just one of the conflicts that continue to haunt Africa. Millions _ i Take the Nature Challenge and learn more at aha datidgdici Ae could intervene i ‘in another country’s affairs. It’s time to dust off that report and but it’s a start. ARREAMARHA WH inmann