Len Le CNUs

1. THE RIGHT TO INITIATE /
ALTER /TERMINATE
RELATIONSHIPS.

2. THE RIGHT TO BE
TREATED WITH RESPECT.

3. THE RIGHT TO ACT IN
WAYS THAT PROMOTE
YOUR DIGNITY AND SELF-
RESPECT AS LONG AS
OTHERS’ RIGHTS ARE NOT
VIOLATED IN THE
PROCESS.

4. THE-RIGHT TO FEEL
GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF.

5. THE RIGHT TO CHANGE
YOUR MIND.

6. THE RIGHT TO SAY NO
AND NOT FEEL GUILTY.

7. THE RIGHT TO
EXPERIENCE
AND EXPRESS YOUR
FEELINGS.

8. THE RIGHT TO ASK FOR
WHAT YOU WANT.

9. THE RIGHT TO MAKE
MISTAKES AND TO BE

 

RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM.

10. THE RIGHT TO DO LESS
THAN YOU ARE HUMANLY
CAPABLE OF DOING.

11. THE RIGHT TO ASK FOR
INFORMATION.

12. THE RIGHT TO DO WHAT
YOU WANT WITH YOUR
BODY.

13. THE RIGHT TO DO WHAT

YOU WANT WITH YOUR
TIME.

14. THE RIGHT TO GET
WHAT YOU PAY FOR.

15. THE RIGHT TO DO WHAT
YOU WANT WITH YOUR
POSSESSIONS.

16. THE RIGHT NOT TO
ASSERT YOUR RIGHTS.

17. THE RIGHT TO HAVE
YOUR LIMITS RESPECTED.

18. THE RIGHT NOT TO
OFFER REASONS OR
EXCUSES FOR YOUR
BEHAVIOUR.

One Minute of Silence is not Enough

by Pauline Rankin '

Last November when I pinned
on my “For Every Woman Raped in
Every War” button alongside a felt

ppy, I wasn’t prepared for the
uttons that got pushed in other
le.
‘ieesdasttkysbsioderianal.
This particular button had provoked
strong reaction before. In 1982, a
group of women held a quiet
ceremony in Vancouver's Victory
Square, honoring women victims of
war. Theevening TV news portrayed
themasdisruptiveanda great outcry
ensued.

Evidently, Remembrance Day
holds a delicate, sacred place in
people's emotions and any attempt

to change it is seen as dan

Iwas raised with Flanders Field
and py drives, and I become
thoughtful and emotional on
November 11th. Born 12 years after
thesecond world war, I observed the
war-protesting years of the 60’s and
I’vealwaysbeenacutely awareofthe
nuclear threat. I choose to spend my
time on Remembrance Day thinking
of the horrors of warfare and
dreaming of a life without it.

As a feminist, I also want to
redefine the traditions of our society
by seeking out the stories of women,
the stories thatare sweptaway in the
mainstream.

. Remembrance Day can have a
broader context than the world wars.
Acknowledging how raping women
is entwined with the practice of war
is one way of doing this. I wear my
button withdeeprespectand sadness
and so was shocked when people

called it “very angry”.
A long and Pca discussion

about my button and the feelings of
war veterans arose in a class | was
attending. The “problems” raised by
my button were explored in an
interview todeterminemy suitability
for a social service course.

I suppose I should be flattered
that one woman with one button
could be perceivedas sucha powerful
entity, capable of bringing parades
and ceremonies to a screeching halt
and dissolving war vets in the street.
Idutifullyresponded toallcriticisms,
feeling like an outsider who was
foreign to Remembrance Day and
the structures of our society.

Iam neither. My father is a war
vet. Hedoesn’tmarchinparades, but
he likes telling stories about his time
overseas. He also likes my button
and has remarked that freedom of
speech was one of the values they
were supposedly fighting for.
Remembrance Day isa time to break
silences and reclaim lost stories. One
minute of silence isn’t enough time
to tell the stories of women and
children whose bodies and lives were
torn apart in the quest for power
called war. Whilel respect themotives
of men and women who sought to
preserve our way oflife, can’t forget
those who suffered pain and
humiliation as a result of a military
mentality.

On November 11, my thoughts
are with my sisters worldwide,
including every woman raped in
every war.

Don't wait for Remembrance Day
to think about women raped in wartime.
Right now the number of women being
raped in the former Yugoslavia are so
high that Barbra McDougal is calling

for the UN to make rape a war crime.

Write to Parliament to show your

support.

The Out Ward Journey

by Kristyn

 

The idea kept running through

In my case there was a gradual
awareness that I was different from

my head that once you come out, everyone else. ealizing that I ws

you’ reoutfor good. Yes, lemi
pretend you never did,
everyone pretended that

green, it would’t change the colour.
Keeping this in mind, I knew
that when I came out I had to do it

well.

Actually, the term “coming out”

t attracted to my own sex didn’t lead

ten\venif to feelings of pride and dignity, by
was any means. My first reactions were

very, very negative, which was tobe

considering the pervasive
stereotypes cast by a heterosexist
soci

Although progression through

is confusing, because it isn’t a single each successive stage makes the nest
momentous event, but a series of one that much easier, coming out
lengthy stages. Perhaps the most neverbecomes the simple statement

difficult pat of this process is realizing of s : :
and admitting that “I am a lesbian!” is riddled with social pressures and

=

of self-fulfillment that it should be. It

the Other Press

h eminism:

March 31, 1993

("femi-ntzam) N. advocacy of women's rights
on grounds of equality of the sexes.

by Maureen Chaume

I’vespokentoa few menrecently
on the topic of women’s rights.
Frequently, the reaction is one of
outright hostility: “I hate feminists!”
I am dismayed to find a prevailing
view of feminists as rabid, tonsil-
exposing maniacs whose ultimate
goal is to psychologically (and
perhaps physically) castrate themale
whiletrampling him intolittle pieces
of dung to be swept up with the rest
of society’s rubbish.

Exposed to the starkness of
female anger, the fragile male ego
suffers a panic attack when
confronted with signs of assertiveness
from the previously passive gender.
With the kamikaze notion of offense
as the best defense, men instantly
equate feminism witha hatred forall
things male and base their reactions
onthisuntriedassumption. Thusarise
ridiculous termssuchas “penisenvy”
and “ballbuster”, terms obviously
associated with that element of
himself which the man most fears to
lose.Sadly, these attitudes effectively
act as blinders as men stumble
through the mire of their own
contradictory social roles.

In fait Secreta as defined by
Oxford is the “advocacy of women’s
rights on the basis of equality of the
sexes”. It is not the “advocacy of
women’s rights for the furthering of
female superiority” as some seem to
think; nor is feminism based on the
emasculation of the male.

Certainly, women are angry.
After centuries of oppression and
forced dependency, we are finally
coming to realize ourselves as
individuals. Yet, as we struggle to
escape the dependency trap that for
many of us has been reinforced
unconsciously by our mothers and
grandmothers throughout our lives,
we are condemned for statements
such as “I don’t need a man to
survive”. Our desire for self-

  
  

 

self-doubt. Perhaps the magnitude of eee

eachsuccessivestepisonly understood
when you consider that there is no
possible way to return tothe closet.

You can’t tell your family and
friends that youarea homosexual and
later reverse your statement with
“Oops! I made a mistake, I’m not a
lesbian after all.” You simply can’t do
that. You must be ready to do battle
and you must be: positive about
yourself for what you are.

It's truly sad thatsomany people,
whether faced with this dilemma or
not, find life so unbearable that they
attempt to destroy themeselves; and

gven sadder that some succeed, The

fulfillment and independence
becomes misconstrued by the male
as outright rejection or derision of
his person.

While women fight an uphill
battleagainst fictions propagated by
socially reinforced female images
(beauty pageants, beercommercials),
and speak out against the abuse
directed toward our gender
(everything from broken bones to
sexist jokes to lewd whistles on the
street), men consider themselves
personally under attack and label us
man-haters. No wonder feminism
has such a bad name! But consider
this: justover tenyearsago,inanage
of explosive scientific and
technological advancement, a man
could still legally rape his wife.

Consider also the nature of
sexual harassment. The very factthat
sexual harassmentisillegal indicates
that women receive so little
consideration (i.e. respect) from men
that without enforced punitive
measures harassment would
continue ata far greater level than it
does at present. Only the threat of
eziniand tacts partially alleviated
the degradation of women, and this
does not extend to the street, where
women of all ages endure the
whistles and leers of passing males
who react to a negative response
with comments such as “What a
fucking bitch” or the ever-eloquent
“Aaah, suck my cock”. Contrary to
the images projected by beauty
pageants, television advertisingand
many music videos, women do not
exist as objects of display for the
enjoyment of the male. Yet, the
aforementioned media indicate that
we do exist in this capacity. No
wonder women are angry. No
wonder men are confused and
resentful.

This is a time of extreme
contradiction. We witness the
emergence of new roles and new
attitudes doing violent battle with

lossofahuman being isa permanent
loss to the world of one person’s
unique talents, one n’s future.

I have often felt that if my
family or friends couldn't give me
the love or respect I am entitled to,
then they have no place in my life. I
have turned awat from people! love
because of their rejection of my
homosexuality.

My father couldn’t accept me,
thereforel felt. My coming outtomy
family left them hurt and angry and
ashamed and disgusted. They
refused to believe or accept it, and I
couldn’t live in an environment

the old. The expectations of this
tumultuous period of social
development bewilder both men
and women. While women strive
against the negative connotations
of feminism, men find themselves
feeling threatened.

From an early age a man is
socialized as the independent, non-
feeling, success-oriented,
dominant person who must be
constantly in control. Image-
conscious, terrified of appearing
non-masculine, a man grows up
suppressing compassion—to cry,
to hug, to express love or
dependence, is taboo. Now, we
tellhim toreactagainstinternalized
attitudes passed down through
countless generations and
sanctioned throughout his lifetime,
and we are angry with him for
resisting change. Uncertain, he
becomes defensive, even hostile.

Women, all of whom at one
time or another have been abused,
discriminated againstor degraded
by men, can understand feminism
only through the eyes of victims.
Men view feminism as a force
determined to crush the epitome
of their masculinity. Neither men
nor women willagreeon the terms
of the feminist viewpoint while
each harbours such resentment
toward the other.

Someday, perhaps, the old
social attitudes restricting the self-
fulfillment ofbothmenand women
will be torn away. Eventually,
mutual respect if not mutual
understanding will prevail, and
the shredding of human dignity
amid spiteful accusations will
become the exclusive province of
electoral debate. Now is the time
to release feminism from its
shackles asanugly and dirty word,
and accept it as an integral part of
human development, neither
vicious nor threatening, buta vital
step in the harmonious resolution
ofthedestructivebattle of thesexes.

     

where I was constantly subjected to
harassmet. I was being treated likea
criminal in my own home. But there
was no backing down because my
attitude ans actions from that day
forth were going to affect the rest of
my life.

I am a 17-year-old high school
student.... Maybe my ideasares
and meaningless to most, but if they
can help even one more person to
avaiod the torments J faced, then
they can help even one more person
to avaid the torments I faced, then
they have accomplished what they

were supposed to do.